Cigar(s) of the Month(s): A Rocky Patel Bonanza! (Also, Bite me, FDA) (Also, join the CRA!)

I'm hoping this giveaway takes up some of the slack of going AWOL. Speaking of slack, I've mastered the slacker lifestyle when it comes to the blog. But I'm trying to be better! And I know you'll forgive me because I'm giving shit away, and you can be easily bribed. (No judgments. So can I.)

So without further ado,* I give you this:  (Wait. I'm not giving it to you yet. One of you can win it. Go to the bottom of the post for the actual Rafflecopter giveawayness.)



At least all this can be yours. Who knows what else we'll throw in!

We're at the point now that we could really use another 2,000-count humidor to go with these:



And this:

Actually overfull now... :(
And the shelves were bowed when we got it.
 

They're all super-full now! Like, "air-flow isn't flowing optimally because there's literally no room to breathe" full. 

When Valentino wasn't looking (or so I thought), I pulled these Rocky Patels from the masses to give to one of you. He caught me. But since I had already made the promise, at least in my head, he didn't chop off one of my hands.**

This arm-waving did happen, though:

So back in the old-timey days (pre-August 8, 2016), many cigar companies were kind enough to give me cigars to give you.

Then August 8 happened, courtesy of the FDA, and now, among other iron-fist rulings, cigar companies are no longer allowed to give away cigars for any reason, unless a cigar shop does not yet carry that blend. Then they get one to try.  This also means no charity donations, including to overseas troops. And no free cigars for you unless they come from our personal humidors.

Rocky and Valentino

In honor of Rocky Patel's visit to Rhode Island last year right about this time, we thought the selection apropos--even if it also means I have to go back to school shortly. ::weeps openly::

Rocky Patel (the man) is also an amazing supporter of Cigar Rights of America,*** so really, full-tilt serendipity brought this post together.  (If you aren't a member of CRA, do it now. Tell them I sent you! And pay attention to all the options on the Rafflecopter giveaway--there are bonus entries if you're a member or become one!)

In the meantime, enter, share, win. Maybe we'll even have more than one winner! (Don't tell Valentino!)

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*Much Ado about Nothing is one of my favorite plays!

**Theres a place for a really dirty joke here, but I'll let you make it on your own; that way you can feel really clever at my expense. You're welcome.

***Full disclosure: I am a CRA Ambassador, so this is an official shake-down.****

****Kidding! I'm kidding! It's an UN-official shakedown!

September Cigar of the Month: Rocky Patel

Last week,* Rocky Patel came to town, landing** at Broadway Cigars.

Broadway Cigars in Providence, RI.

Many men (and a few ladies--Hi Denise!) gathered for this rare Providence, RI sighting.

Just some of the usual suspects.***

And also one of the world's coolest dudes. Hi Brian!

Rocky was **** gracious, generous with his time, and funny--AND he put up with Will the Travelling Owl's willfulness, so in our book, he should be sainted.

The little bastard and Rocky

Of course, he also hung with Valentino for a bit, and they laughed it up like BFFs. (Not even kidding. I pity the guy who came up to Rocky and said, "Now who are you?")

Like Valentino's shirt? You can get one just like it here!

If you live on Planet Earth and have even taken a peek into the cigar world, you've heard the name Rocky Patel. Here's a spot of backstory so you can appreciate why his name is synonymous with cigars and you really only need to say "Rocky" and everyone knows who you mean.

Patel, er, Rocky, a former Los Angeles entertainment and liability lawyer, developed a fascination with cigars during the mid-1990s boom. After helping found the Grand Havana Club in LA, he invested in cigar manufacturing and the product--and his name--sailed to the annals of cigar history.

That beginning came in 1996, when the cigar world welcomed Rocky and business partner Phil Zhengi's Indian Tabac Company's**** "fresh ideas, bold packaging, and fuller cigars" and since then, his perfect tobacco blending and blending with smokers of his premium cigars is known throughout the community. [source]

Speaking of blending, at which Rocky excels, these were accidentally purchased during the Broadway Cigars event...

A smorgasborg of cigars!
What's the cigar equivalent of nom-nom-nom?

Also during the event, Rocky Patel (the company) rep Max Bichler provided some cigars to give away to you guys! Cigars that haven't been released to the public yet!

And we also got Rocky to sign a couple of boxes for you!

These boxes are empty, but they're still signed!

What's in the box?
Nothing. Not. A. Thing.
(Not kidding.)

In addition to what you see here, we're working on adding to the collection--more Rocky Patel cigars--we just couldn't finalize the secret switch in the back room of a speakeasy by "Dear god I have to announce next month's giveaway soon!" o'clock. But there will be more! Pinky swearsies!

So for now, we know there will be two first-prize winners. But of course we can't leave it at that! Stay tuned for The Adding of More Prizes.


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*Hahahaha. As if I did something in a timely manner.

**Not landing landing, as if his plane gently set down on Broadway's roof... Metaphorical landing.

***

In this picture,
they look like extras from a Sopranos episode.

****I'm sure he still is; after all, he's only been gone a few days.

*****Earlier this year, the company announced Indian Tabac's demise.

Rocky Patel joins the Band of Merry Men--and everyone is happy! Now! Includes Men in Tights!

I'm all about gathering my Band of Merry Men about me. In fact, I prefer my world that way--surrounded by awesome fellas who think I'm lovely and charming and hilarious.*

Not exactly them, but you get the gist.
(I wish I could get them in these outfits. Even for a day...hahaha)
Also, Men in Tights in a hoot of a movie!

Valentino, of course, is the Robin Hood in this scenario and I'm Maid Marian, for I am a delicate Renaissance flower.** Caballero #2 is Little John, without the monk's robe. But Little John wasn't around for this adventure, sadly.

Generally we wind up in our secret lair (Habanos in Pawtucket, RI) purely by accident--if you call attendance patterns accidents. Whatevs.



I WISH I could get them to chorus line.
I wonder what it would cost me... because I'd pay cash money.

Something else you need to know about the Band of Merry Men: Their numbers fluctuate and the members vary, depending on work and hangover schedules. You may remember the last official unofficial gathering.

But the other day, many core group members found themselves in the tavern, well-primed (by the mead) for shenanigans and cigars. I thrust--yes, actually thrust--these most awesome-looking Rocky Patel American Market Selection robustos (5 1/2 x 50) (below) at four of them, all with varied cigar-smoking regularity and experience. (I had five, but had to save one for Valentino [obvs], who went missing in Sherwood Forest. Or the walk-in humidor.***) 

The lovely folks at Famous Smoke Shop
sent them to us and said, "Smoke these please."
We're very good at following directions.
[source]

I guess I could have given the Band of Merry Men some kind of instruction or told them about the cigar, but...nah. I just demanded, "Smoke this."****

First up, my brother Chris. This was literally his fourth premium cigar ever.*****

New cigar smoker and yet already
mastered one of the key cigar poses.

You know we wouldn't lead him astray (much); his previous three were well-chosen, but this one he declared the best yet. Keep in mind: he doesn't know the cigar lingo or the ever-repeated descriptors, yet he said it surprisingly tasted creamy "and with some nuts or something." Huh.

 

Our pal Jim's a "few cigars a week" smoker and agreed with this Rocky Patel robusto's creaminess.

Note to self: Monitor photographs
rather than tossing the phone to the next victim.
Take my word for it: this is Jim's hand and cigar.
BTW, nice ash, Jim.
Or maybe we should say, "Nice ash, Rocky Patel."

"This is a good mildish smoke," Jim said, using an overly-technical term. His lovely wife rolled her eyes, because that's what long-time lovely wives do.

Poor Deb. She'd come by to take her husband for ice cream.

Jim, however, had yet to touch flame to cigar.

I threatened Merry Men moniker revocation--plus I'd take the cigar back.  When his eyes pleaded "But my wife..." I took control. We stormed her vehicle, insisting she succumb to our demands. And by this, I mean we begged for Jim to please stay and play with us. I also bribed her with promises of adult beverages. She acquiesced. (Yay!)

"And there's a lot of flavor," he continued. "This Rocky Patel is damn good." Thanks for taking one for the Band, Jim! And sorry about the ice cream, Deb!

Another Band leader, Brian, smokes a bit more than Jim, including stogies on the golf course.

Are my photography skills getting better
or his he incredibly photogenic?
I'd bet on the latter.

"This would be a great smoke for the course," Brian said. "It's mild. I prefer that when I'm playing golf. And this," he pointed to burning cigar, "this is the best part so far. It gets better the more I smoke it." He demonstrated with a deep draw. "Where can I get these?"

 

I acted as a fair maiden should, instead of cranking the snark and said, "They're exclusive to Famous Smoke. So if you want them, you either drive there or ask the mighty, mighty internets for assistance." He nodded and yanked out his phone.  "What's it called again?"

 

The most excellent Rocky Patel American Market Selection robusto.

 

And then, our hero, the cigar savant. 

I'd probably get better pictures if I, oh, I don't know--
got up from the couch and perhaps even tried to focus.******

"I like this a lot," Valentino said, and then in a stage-whisper asked how many were left.

I shook my head.

"What does that mean?"

"None," I admitted, trying to look demure while holding a bag of Cheez-Its.

Pretty darned close to his reaction.

Sometimes my generosity in the pursuit of a good (or goodish) story causes strife.  Poor Valentino. He was strifed.

Oh my sweet reader, you just went back up to count, because you thought That was only four Merry Men but...Famous Smoke Shop sent five cigars.

And yet I did lose--one cigar.

Yeah. Lost. Merry Man Eric took his and exited, stage left. I may have to vote him out of the group. Or be more clear in my instructions. Or give instructions. Actually, this is probably on me.

Oh! And some things you want/need to know about the Rocky Patel American Market Selection robustos:

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Connecticut (Rumor has it, this wrapper was all the rage back in the day--not Robin Hood days, but the early 20th century.)

Filler: Honduran and Nicaraguan

Available sizes:

• Churchill (7×49)
• Double Corona (7.5×52)
• Robusto, obviously (5 1/2 x 50)
• Sixty (6×60)
• Toro (6×52)
• Torpedo (6×52)

And in case you slept through that part, you can only get these at Famous Smoke Shop!

All right. I've got to round up the Band of Merry Men. I'm dying for attention. And a meal I don't have to pay for.




*If you know what's good for you, you will NOT debunk this theory.

**Shush, you.

***Or wherever it is he wanders off to as I hide behind the laptop.

****In a lady-like way, of course.

*****Sorry, Mum!

******Story of my life, this inability to focus.



March Cigar of the Month! Gimme a 1 and a 9 and a 6 and a 1!

First, congratulations to Albert Crackenbush for winning last month's Joya Red giveaway!

We were wandering aimlessly around Habanos Cigar Lounge the other day, trying to figure out what would be a fantastic giveaway for March. We may or may not have had adult beverages in our hands.

I stood in the Habanos walk-in humidor trying to figure out what you would like. In my mind, you are all very picky, although that may not actually be the case.

Bassam, the Habanos owner, questioned my perplexidness (perplexocity?).

"How about this?" he asked, and held up:

.

"OMG Yes!" I said, merely thinking of you, of course.

At first I was thinking how I would become a hero in your eyes, handing off this entire thing to one fantastic fan. Then I thought you would all be better served if I broke it up and had several winners. At this point, I was pretty pleased with myself and my generosity--of giving away someone else's stuff.

Let's just pause for a moment and thank Bassam and Habanos for their super generosity.

Will's cousin Elmer. [source]

The Rocky Patel 1961celebrates its namesake's birth year and debuted at IPCPR in 2009. "This cigar represents the inaugural release from his newest Nicaraguan factory, Tabacalera Villa Cuba. He used only the finest select leaf in the construction. Wrapped in a dark oily Habano-seed wrapper, the cigar has a noticeable spicy finish." [source] The cigar was classified medium to full-bodied upon its release. But these babies have been resting comfortably for about five years, just waiting for you to light them up. We're pretty sure they are going to be smooooooth.

With a filler from Nicaragua, binder from Honduras, and an Ecuadorean Habano wrapper, it's almost impossible to go wrong. If you want to learn more about Patel's process and commitment to the highest quality, you should check out this Cigar Aficionado article.

And if you want to learn about the man behind the cigars, check out the company webpage.

So after much deliberation, we decided to break up the set so more folks would be able to score. We want to share the happiness and joy!

The grand prize winner will receive the wooden cigar, along with five of the 1961s.  Other winners will get a bunch too. I'd tell you the number of winners and the cigars they'd receive but math is hard.

True story.

To enter the giveaway, comment on this post for one entry. And!  Check out a Rafflecopter giveaway for other ways

A Long(mire) time coming!

Sorry it took a couple of extra days. But finally...

 

We have a winner for February's Cigar of the Month!

 

Albert Quackenbush! It's you!!

The four Joya Reds from Joya de Nicaragua are coming in your direction shortly!

And guess who is their travelling companion!

This guy!* But in book form.

Four cigars, though, not two!

Thanks to everyone who entered! And this next giveaway is going to be another bonanza! We're going to tell you about it in just a nanosecond, but as a hint, it will involve this:

Details coming soon!

*If you don't know, this is Robert Taylor as Walt Longmire from the (now) Netflix series Longmire, which is based on Craig Johnson's book series.**

**If you have the chance, you should listen to the books' audio versions, which are narrated by the most awesome George Guidall.***

***You know how everyone wants Morgan Freeman to narrate their lives? I would make George my first, second, and third choices.

Three Men and a Little Lady

Yesterday, after a craptacular day capped off with a loooong-ass teaching stint, which Valentino valiantly suffered through with me because he is THAT awesome, I begged* to go to Habanos for a drink.**

Friends already occupied the bar, cigars in hand and Nathalie held down the fort and held up the conversation. (She's awesome. She's the lady in this scenario, by the way.) We nestled in and everything seemed just a little bit better. But like the Girl of Empty Promises that I am, I could neither muster the energy to drink more than ginger ale, nor hold an actual conversation. My brain. She was fried.

Know what? It's nice when you walk into a place and people are genuinely happy to see you. That really helps perk up the day, even if it is 10:30 p.m.

Valentino lit up a Rocky Patel Decade, which has been a favorite for a couple years, since we happened upon a box of lanceros at Mr. J's Havana. (They don't have any more, so don't ask. We made off with the rest, as we are wont to do.) This time he lit a box-pressed 5 x 50, which had a bit of nuttiness, although that certainly could have been my frame of mind (also a little on the nutty side). Or both. A woodiness and creaminess also filled our airspace, a perfect reminder of non-sucky days.
 

From the I-stink-at-taking-pictures files. The one on the right is what it's supposed to look like. [source]

To my left, Eric (Hi, Eric!), who said he'd found this La Sirena Merlion (Sea Lion) perfecto (5.5 x 47) lurking in his humidor...

Of course it didn't look exactly like this when he took it from the humidor.

...and he pulled the Sea Lion up for air (and the lit it on fire, which is where the metaphor dies and the cigar comes to life).


I know what you're thinking: Stop being awesome, La Sirena!



It was a dark and stormy cigar, starting off in the medium range, and then as the storm blew in, becoming more and more full, with pepper and oakiness. (Is that a word? Yes.) But within that all lurked little rays of sunshiny sweetness, floral notes as the rain swept across the garden. I swear I have not been drinking.

According to CI, this cigar is "A fusion of two of the best in the business - La Aurora (Guillermo Leon) and La Sirena (Don Pepin) – this half-mermaid half-lion handmade is all substance. Carefully crafted in the esteemed La Aurora factory in the Dominican, Merlion brings smooth, uber-complex flavors in spades."

They continue, "It all starts with a feisty, yet silky smooth Ecuadorian Corojo wrapper. This lovely leaf hugs a Brazilian Sumatra binder, housing an impressive long-filler bouquet of Dominican Corojo, Dominican Criollo 98', Nicaraguan ligero, and finally Brazilian Mata Fina. An adventurous blend no doubt, each brand's influence is evident, as the Merlion asserts a bold, well-balanced array of rich medium to full-bodied smoke."

I thought about getting Valentino a box, but 1. We're in dangerously low on humidor space and 2. I know he would never smoke any of them because the box and its contents are so cool. 

But wait! There's more!

This was my first Saint Luis Rey. I asked him to please be gentle.

Shawn, a fan of the fuller cigars, (Hi, Shawn!) worked on a Saint Luis Rey Reserva Especial, a 6 x 50 Toro. Talk about dark and stormy! Although I wasn't sitting next to him, I noticed some spiciness wafting my way...  Want more details about the smoke? Take a look here! And I'll try to get closer next time I'm in the vicinity of one of these beauties.

According to the website, "The origins of this cigar’s name are cloaked in mystery. One theory is that a Thornton Wilder play, 'The Bridge of San Luis Rey,' was the inspiration behind this smoke’s moniker. Another is that it was named after the town of San Luis in the Vuelta Abajo tobacco region in Cuba, where these cigars were originally rolled.

"Now handmade in Honduras, these exquisite cigars achieve their renowned full flavor and aroma through a unique blend of Honduran, Nicaraguan, and Peruvian long filler tobaccos, a Nicaraguan binder, and a dark, rich Nicaraguan wrapper."


And now, on to the little one:

Contraband!!!
(Distributed to all who helped de-suckify the day!
A small price to pay. Thank you!)

We just happened to be in Jamaica in January and we just happened to happen upon (after extensive research) La Casa del Habano. In the flurry of purchasing, I may happened to have thrown these on the counter. I swear I had every intention of laying out cold hard American Express for them, but Valentino accidentally paid for them himself. My intentions were true! My speed and accuracy at pulling a credit card out of my bag...not so much. I blame the cognac the shop proprietor forced*** upon us. 

So, crappyish day over, ending on a pleasing note...like a cigar you're not sure you like in the beginning but you give it a chance because what other choice do you have?**** And at the end, you acquiesce, "That wasn't so bad."

Word.*****

*Actual conversation: "Can we go to Habanos?" "Sure."

**I do not ever question why high school teachers drink, and if they don't, they 1. should or 2. are much better people than I will ever be. Probably both.

***Actual conversation: "Would you like some cognac?" "Yes, please."

****Valentino refuses refuses to quit a cigar. Only once, in all the time cigars and I have been around simultaneously, has he thrown down the stick, cursing it and its evil taste to the end of time. No, I am not going to tell you what it was. That's not how we roll here. We're a kind lot.

*****Whenever I try to sound cool, using the kids' crazy lingo (from this century or last), my dear-hearted son says, "Please don't ever say that again." I expect a text from him in 3...2...