Cigar Lounge Manners: Don't lie

We allllll do it. And if you say you don't, then you're doing it.

There's the white version, to spare another's feelings:

• That dress looks great on you.
• I had a fantastic time.
• I'd love to buy you ice cream, but the line is too long.

When you're hanging in the cigar lounge, maybe you embellish a bit. Who can blame you? As I like to say, "We're all heroes of our own story." If that requires sparkles added to the story... ::shrug:: So it goes.*

But when lying becomes a big part of your cigar lounge persona, there's a problem.

“All this happened, more or less.”**

Unfortunately, usually less.

Don't forget that the folks in the lounge continue to chat even when you aren't there. (No, the place doesn't go dark when you head out.) They're going to compare stories. They're going to quickly note discrepancies.

“When everything was beautiful and nothing hurt...”***

Maybe the tellers of tall tales seek to recreate these beautiful moments as they concoct stories. But it's almost demeaning, what they expect us to believe. Sometimes we, frustrated, threaten to call these gentlemen out, show the documented research proving them wrong.

But that's not the cigar lounge way.

These lies generally stem from real life unhappiness. Smoking a cigar should be a mini-vacation from...everything, so spending this time worrying and trying to keep lies straight negates the benefits of cigar time.

Sadly, these folks are doing the cigar culture wrong. But who are we to judge?

So we let them show us pictures and tell us personal stories about stock photos and non-existent vacations. We're polite like that.

Once someone started to tell a story about a sailboat she "owns." Having sailed and owned boats for many a year, I figured this THIS will be our connection! We'll chat away and become BFFs. But panic struck her face when I started talking boat. She then turned to the person to her right and chattered away, as if we'd never spoken. In my experience, anyone with a boat wants to talk about their boat. So....yeah. Liar, liar pants on fire, unfortunately.

We'd probably like these folks just fine--maybe even more so--if we could just know the real people holding the cigars. After all, I'm the most boring person in the entire universe and people like me just fine. (At least that's the impression I get while at the lounge. Who knows what happens when I leave.****)

Like who you are and I'm pretty sure we'll love you! The cigar community is the nicest group of people on earth. Impress us with your real awesomeness, not some stuff you think will impress us. We're a simple people...***** But not a dumb bunch; trust us. In fact, most of us are wicked smaht.****** We promise to like you for you.

The quotation maker.

*A billion bonus life points for getting the reference without a Google search. There's a book and film, by the way.

**Same reference. First line.

***Ditto, but not first line, obvs.

****I just pretend nothing bad is said, although what could they say? Gosh, she types a lot.

*****In a good way.

******Paraphrasing another favorite movie. More life bonus points for getting this reference.

The waiting is the hardest part. Or: Aging cigars is not fun for those of us with limited patience

Right now,* Valentino and I are transporting goods across state lines. (Teehee!)

 

We really are the world's most innocuous mules. I have nothing stashed in my bouffant hairdo** a la Marge Simpson. Valentino has nothing sewn into his jacket. (I was going to go with another image, one more traditional in the smuggling world, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Hi, Mom!)

 

Instead of being supercool and in the midst of a car chase with guns ablazin', we're driving along Interstate 80 in Pennsylvania, minding speed limits and listening to 70s on 7.  (I love Sirius/XM radio.)

 

And a backseat full of these:

In boxes, obviously. Not a back seat full of loose cigars.

We spent a couple of afternoons/evenings at Island Jim Robinson's Leaf and Bean this past week, but couldn't actually smoke any of his signature cigars. They were totally sold out. He told us some had been produced and were sitting in Honduras, silently aging.***  He stressed that he wouldn't have them shipped to himself or anyone else until they were practically perfect in every way. (I'm paraphrasing, obvs. I just can't see Jim quoting Mary Poppins.) 

 

Then we saw on Facebook (my major source for news) that the cigars were wide awake and U.S.-bound.

They were on their way here!!

THEN! Our friend Bobby from Broadway Cigars said, Hey, 10 boxes please! And through a series of cryptic messages, we wound up with a backseat full of boxes. 

 

The interesting point here, and there actually is a point, is this: Cigar makers want to make sure every cigar is as perfect as possible. Our friend Paul Joyal, he of J Grotto cigars, told us he was out of the Anniversary Series double perfecto, an amazing cigar in its own right. We saw them at Jim's place, and at Broadway Cigars, but Paul himself didn't have any in his own shop. 

(He's going to kill me for using this picture!)
The J Grotto double perfecto in PA!

 

Were they hand rolled and ready to go? Yep. 

 

Would they be travelling to the US? Nope. 

 

"I'd rather they be perfect," he said. "It's not a financial decision. It's a quality decision."

 

Valentino and I like to say, "You're only as good as your last envelope," meaning people remember the last thing you did for them, the last plate you served them at a restaurant, whatever. The metaphor crosses into a zillion professions--although I'm fond of the saying's mob ties. 

 

If you have a bad cigar, especially if it's your first time with that premium cigar, you might not go back to it, especially with so many other options on the market. Boutique cigar crafters make the right decision when they hold off until the cigar has enough aging under its belt.

Cigars International says in their article, "Properly Aging Cigars," "Aging is often what makes a good cigar a great one."

We actually know this from experience.

For his birthday, I bought Valentino a box of his own blend of cigars, thanks to George Rico, head honcho at Gran Habano Cigars. So cool (both George and the ability to create your own blend). Valentino chose the filler, binder, and wrapper, by using their  super-fun blending kit, which contains "10-20 puritos of each tobacco leaf available at the time...detailed menu of the tobaccos included, and a blending sheet," according to the feature article on cigar.com, from whence the kit comes.

The choices...

So he puffed away on the puritos, mixing and matching, trying to figure out his most favorite.

The choosing...
(Thanks for taking the pictures, Nathalie!)

Then, because Valentino is Valentino, much research ensued, including lots of discussions with our cigar pals in-the-know, including Mr. J Grotto himself. Finally, he settled on a blend.  And a few months later, this arrived:

Yes, those are angels you hear singing.

More angels singing.
This is the sticker that held the paper covering the cigars together.
(Weird sentence. Too lazy to fix it.)
(We do not promise perfection here. Just a few laughs.)

By all that's right and holy, he should have fallen in love with them on first puff.

That does not look like a man in love with his cigar.

Not the cigar's fault. It needs more time to, as we incorrectly say, "marinate."

Here's a general guideline, from Cigar Secrets:

• "3 weeks stabilizes the mechanical tensions and moisture of a cigar, making it smoke better, particularly if it was shipped ‘green’
• 3 months allows the oils to begin their natural dissipation so that the flavors of the blend ‘marry’ [Hahaha. I should have said "marryinate."]
• 3 years (in a temperature/humidity controlled environment) allows some more complex chemical processes of true aging to take place, creating deep, rich and subtle layers of flavor
• Beyond 3 years – Carefully stored, cigars just keep getting better and better"****

At the launch of the J Grotto Anniversary series, Valentino had a nice chat with Philip Zanghi, of Debonaire Cigars, about how fermentation during the aging process reduces the ammonia and other chemicals that make, if smoked too soon, the cigar taste like ass.***** Longer-aged cigars result in mellowed acridity.

So, yes, we know he shouldn't have smoked the Cabellero #1 so soon upon its arrival, but come on. That's like buying an edible gift early on in the shopping season and not eating it.

[source]

At least Island Jim and Paul Joyle keep their cigars in another country to ensure proper aging. Lucky bastards. Although I bet they would leave the edible Christmas gifts alone too. What are you guys? Robots? Sheesh.

Anyway, the moral of the story is this: We will certainly entertain offers to mule cigars for you, if necessary. For a price, of course. Like, maybe, some Christmas gifts you're still holding onto... nom nom nom. Please just don't make us wait too long.

Will's not happy with the Idiot Handler who took the lousy picture.
He says it doesn't show the extent or importance of his work.

 

 

*Hahaha. As if I could finish a blog post in the same year I started it.

 

**I wish I could even keep a bouffant bouffanted for more than 13 seconds. 

 

***Shhhh. The Island Jims are sleeping.

****Naturally, there are exceptions. But that's a post for another time!

*****My interpretation, obvs.

Camp Kristoff, Part the First

Not too long ago,* Glen Case (Hi Glen!), the head-honcho of Kristoff Cigars, visited Habanos, one of our favorite hang-outs, a place in our own back yard...

You remember Glen, right? We first met him at Havana Cigar Lounge in West Warwick, RI.

Havana owner Todd LaScola, our hero, and Glen Case.

Well, one night we were shenaniganning** over at Broadway Cigars at a Montecristo event and then later rolled closer to home, into Habanos. And there was Glen Case! It was like we walked into our own back yard and happily found a cool kid from a neighboring neighborhood! Yay!

Unlike the first time we hung around with him, which was an actual Kristoff event, whereby he was required to be an adult in full-adult mode; this time he had the relaxation cranked up to 11.

After we settled in, giving out lots of "hello" kisses, Valentino lit one of these delights, which we'd previously purchased at that Havana event:

The 685 Woodlawn, on the right.
That's the star of this show.

Glen stopped mid-sentence and said, "Where did you get that cigar?"

Valentino took the cigar from his mouth and looked at it, just to remind himself which delicious stick consumed his senses. "At the event in West Warwick," he said, making his way to the bar with Glen and Jarrid Trudeau (Hi Jarrid!), a cool dude in his own right and Kristoff's Northeast rep, to sit with me.

"That's my favorite stick," Glen said. "I don't even have any of those in my humidor at home."

Now if you must know, I have some mad internet skillz.*** So when Glen reiterated the lack of 685s, I hauled out my laptop and began a search.

Pretend I'm currently searching and during the lull, we'll cut away to a montage of information about this cigar:

• The cigar's name comes from the house he grew up in. 685 Woodlawn in the suburbs of Chicago. See? That makes me love it already because you must know by now how much I love a good story. By the way, it's not the family homestead any more, but an ode to your first home? Awesomely cool. (As a side note, Mom and Dad? Don't plan on moving out of that house, especially to move to Florida, as all your peers have. Stay put.)
• A small batch released in April-ish 2013, only 2,000 boxes of 10 were made.
• The wrapper is from Brazil, binder from Nicaragua, and filler from Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, and a super secret place--maybe Oz? Santa's workshop? Brigadoon****? 
• Comes in one size, the 6 1/2 x 60 perfecto--one of our favorite shapes!
• I love love love this cigar. (I seem to have a real fondness for small batches, as if the more I know I can't get it, the more I want it. But that's pretty much the way of life, right?)

Glen and Valentino***** whooping it up.
Actually, they were discussion serious life things
while I challenged the mighty internets to a duel.
I won.

So within moments, I found a few boxes of the 685 available for purchase and gave Glen and Jarrid the info. I guess if I were a really good person, I would have bought him a box, and a box for ourselves...but...no.  Of course I regret this now. Or I did! <--Blatant forshadowing.

That night Valentino smoked his one and only 685, filling my lungs with some serious sweetness with a background of pepper. Kind of like smelling and tasting the fruit pie Nana is making in the house while simultaneously inhaling the heavily-peppered steaks' smoke wafting from the neighbors' grill. If you could get both flavors in your face at the same time--the pepperiness, the fruitiness, and the creamy, buttery crust, you'd be experiencing the 685 Woodlawn.

The night over, we were left with some super fun memories of time with our Kristoff friends and the Kristoff cigars. Now the story should end there, but no, because there's another chapter to the story.

On our way to visit my son in West Virginia for the holidays, we accidentally drove by the most massive of cigar stores, Cigars International in Hamburg, PA. Come on, we were driving right by the exit. And we needed gas anyway...

Just a teeny tiny bit of the gigantean place!
Lousy picture by moi!

One of the first things we saw as we entered the store? (That foreshadowing comes into play now.) We saw this:

Oh my sweet darling...

We scooped these up and asked about more.  The very nice staff lady searched high and low, climbing ladders to look in way high cubbies and giving herself a headrush looking in the store's deep, dark crevices.  And know what? She found another box! That was some amazeballs customer service!  We took them and ran!

This isn't true. I held them close to myself, like a treasured Latin textbook****** and we slowly perused the entire store, twice.

We're heading home from our travels tomorrow and I hope on Tuesday we can do some more research with these, see if they will once again help me relive the long, slow, sunny days of a childhood summer--even if I am a grownup now (boo) and we've just entered a long winter (double boo). I may ask Valentino to bring two.





*Keeping in mind I have real issues with time passing quickly and not recognizing it.

**A real word in Penny World.

***Not nearly as good as my friend Shelagh, who could teach a master class, but still better than the average schmoe.

****One of my all-time favorite plays.

*****This picture is actually from later in the evening, when our hero had moved on to a different Kristoff cigar.

******I'm probably the only one who ever actually treasured a textbook, right? Especially a Latin one? Thought so. Just to let you know, I still have my high school Latin books.

The Caballeros Ride Again: Cigar Dinner Edition!

Oh, you know we love a nice fundraiser, especially when cigars are involved!

About a hundred years ago--a month maybe?-- Caballero #2 told us about a cigar dinner to support the Young America Club in Plymouth, MA.*

But the really enticing part? The Caballeros would be together again, after a too-long hiatus, on which I blame 1. travel; 2. being an adult; 3. stupid crap. So we said "Meh!"** to the comedy show tickets we'd already purchased*** and readied up for some serious cigarocity**** at the Young America Club.

As the event was supported by General Cigars, upon arrival, we received this bounty:

And thanks, Brennan's Smoke Shop! Hi Geoff!

Caballero #2 dove into this beauty and our hero followed suit:

See those raffle tickets in the background?
They're going to play a part in the story soon...

According to the La Gloria Cubana website "Available only at fine tobacconist stores, Serie R® Estelí was the second blend to surface during the blending process. Beefed by a top priming Jalapa Sol wrapper and rounded out by a combination of visos and ligeros, Serie R® Estelí sings her Nicaraguan song at the top of her lungs."

Plus, there was food, and we love foods.***** Valentino and all the other boys we love (Hi Caballero #2! Hi Three Amigos!******)

I willingly gave up my lobster. Too much work for too little return.
Now mashed potatoes...yeah baby.

Then there was the winning portion of the show. Er, I mean, the raffle portion of the show. Oh, who am I kidding.  Of course we won. We win a lot.*******

So...this:

Thanks again, General Cigar!

We had our doubts upon receipt of these winnings.

Michael Giannini and his team created the Foundry Worm Hole line, which pays tribute to the concept of the  "Worm Hole" -  and time travel; the Foundry Worm Hole line pays tribute to the past, present, and future. "The inspiration for Worm Hole starts at the year 1964, moves to present day 2014, and finally 50 years in the future to 2064.  The Worm Hole series has a blend for 50 years past (1964 Blend),  Current State (2014 Blend), and 50 years into the future (2064 Blend)" according to an article on Cigar Coop.

"Consistent with most of the Foundry portfolio, the details of the tobaccos have not been disclosed, but these are said to include rare tobaccos that have not been used before." The 2026, which we now own (Thanks, General Cigar for the product donations!) features "a unique keepsake (non-paper) cigar band." when we opened the box and saw 24 6 x 52 cigars clad in plastic, our inner skeptics kicked the winning gene in the head and took over.

Then Valentino lit one up. Much happiness ensued. It was sweet and creamy, with a little pepperiness. Then I lost sight of the smoke (if that's possible) because then he won this:

And thanks again again!
And you can tell by the blurriness of this picture, that I took it.
Because I am that awesome.

So I leave you with this, the folks who helped us carry out all our loot:

Josh Rashid and his daddio Caballero #2,
General Cigar's Marc Lagace, and our hero, Valentino. 

Hahaha. Just kidding (kind of)! But thanks to you guys and the Three Amigos for being so great!********


*Yes, where the Pilgrims lived. No, there weren't any there.

**And by this, I mean we sold them on Craigslist.

***We were in the middle of saying, "Darn, I think we're going to eat those tickets" about three hours before the comedy show when his phone rang and someone asked if the tickets were still available. It was a ticket miracle! We're hoping that's not the only miracle we get for the rest of the year.

****That is too a word.

*****Although gentlemen planners, no dessert? What the what? Granted, there were only two women at the dinner (Yay!), but...but...

******Who are actually three brothers--triplets!

*******This has nothing to do with me.  I lose a lot. Valentino, like my dad, has the winning gene. Only occasionally does this gene shed its recessive trait and rear its winningness head.

********

Not really my Three Amigos,
but representative of their awesomeness.

Photo Finish or: Lots of Fun, Darling

You've probably noticed by now that the pictures of me on this blog are few and far between.* There's maybe one? I'm just not photogenic.  Apparently the animated faces I make throughout a conversation make me look like:
1. A crazy person
2. Someone who needs to be locked in a time machine and sent back to the time before George Eastman was born.

Or, when I'm trying to look pensive, thoughtful, dare I say enchanting, I allegedly look like I'm in pain. So yeah, there's that.

Sometimes I like to think of other things that LFD can stand for.
Loads of Fabulous Dancers? Let's Find Daisies?

Anyway, the other day, we headed to Broadway Cigars for a La Flor Dominicana (LFD) event, and of course we went, because:
1. Cigars
2. Broadway (Hi Bobby! Hi John! Hi John! Hi Sal! Hi other people whose names I've forgotten because school is in session and there's only so much room in my noggin for information!)
3. John Gallogly, the LFD Rep** who I realized I'd never actually met in person, although Valentino had the pleasure. But we are Facebook friends; that counts for something, right?
4. Sons of Liberty
5. LFD.

Let's freak out the people with OCD and look at these points out of order.***

#5. So we have a love-love-love-love relationship with LFD. Remember the Mysterioso shenanigans? The Mysterio adventure? The salamon situation? And the recent Litto Gomez games?

Attention!

Is it insane that I'm a little bit in love with a cigar brand?****  I will admit to being brand loyal and charmed by the inner workings of a small business with a big reputation for creativity and excellence. Plus, as we've chatted about time and again, I love an interesting backstory. So, yeah, LFD.

"La Flor Dominicana burst on the scene in the middle of the 1990s cigar boom. Known first as Los Libertadores, the brand was met with the same skepticism that most of the other new brands encountered, both in the marketplace and among industry old-timers. But something changed very quickly," according to an article in Cigar Aficionado.

"The attitudes of the owners, the husband-and-wife team of Litto Gomez and Ines Lorenzo-Gomez, were clear from the start: they wanted to learn about the business and about cigars. Instead of copying the behavior of some of the newcomers, which might charitably be called arrogant, Gomez and Lorenzo-Gomez buckled down, spending time with some of the wisest people in the cigar business. They moved carefully, growing slowly and methodically as they acquired more expertise, better tobacco inventories and, finally, their own factory."

"'A lot of people thought that I was crazy to start in an industry that was typically in the hands of people that had done this for generations,' says Gomez, staring from beneath the brim of his trademark Montecristi Panama hat. 'If you were an outsider, you had to prove yourself. Twelve years later, we’re honored to be considered a part of the cigar industry.'" [source] As an obsessive researcher, I can appreciate the desire to know the world you're jumping into before lining up for that swan dive. I also respect the idea of finding a mentor or seeking the knowledge of those who have led the way; the newcomers who think they know better than their professional elders--and this can be in any industry: cigars, food, writing...*****

If you're not familiar with the story of Litto and Ines Gomez, you neeeeeed to learn more.

The whole place is like the coziest rec room you've ever been in,
with the coolest and most interesting people.

#2 Broadway Cigars in Providence, RI: This is kind of like our own personal Cheers,****** We're always welcomed and we always feel welcome. This makes us have a giant happy.

The Perfect Storm: Whiskey and cigars!

#4 Sons of Liberty Spirits: "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." From the Rhode Island company's website: "We started with a couple questions: "Why is no one distilling single malt whiskies from the beers we love?" and "Why are there so many seasonal beers, but no seasonal whiskies?" With a spirit for innovation, we set out to create a line of whiskies the world had never seen." Anything that tastes alcoholy makes me make a face that causes Valentino to erupt into stomach-aching laughter convulsions. And then usually he begs me to take another sip so everyone else can see the face. Naturally, I do it because it brings everyone else So. Much. Joy. So, yeah, that happened. But everyone else seemed to really enjoy it. If you're in the area, pick some up!

#1. Cigars: Do I need to really say anything here? That's what we're here for!

Valentino started with this little darling, the LFD Reserva Especial El Jocko*******:

"This special 'Reserve' blend consists of a flawless, Ecuadorian Connecticut seed wrapper that surrounds Dominican Piloto Cubano longfiller and a rich-tasting Nicaraguan binder. The result is an exceptionally flavorful cigar that is full-bodied with an intriguing complexity. A 'must try' for more experienced cigar smokers." [source] The problem, although I am using that term incredibly loosely because it's really no problem at all, the problem with an event is that I can't get right up in Valentino's grill and bogart his second-hand smoke. Luckily he purchased a few of these so I'll get another chance. Wheee!

 

He also purchased a bunch more, and then I did, too, for... oh. Shhh. Nevermind!

 

#3: Our fab LFD rep, the one and only John Gallogly! Sure, he's super cool and fun and sure does know all the things about cigars. But the man has mad selfie skillz. I can even prove it. Look! A photo of me that doesn't make someone call 911!

 

And then there were two pictures!

 

*Of course there are many many many of Valentino, and that's fine.  He's the face of the blog. I'm the nutty scribe. I'm perfectly happy with that arrangement.

**Who, to clarify, is not my personal LFD representative, regardless of what I think.

***I can hear the screams of anguish and angst from here! Bwah hahahaha!

****Shush, you.

*****The only things I know about. Well, those and cupcakes. And rainbows and unicorns. But that's all I know.

******Without the alcohol unless you bring your own.

*******Crazy name? Yes. Story behind the crazy name? Of course! "[I]n the late 90’s a man by the name Jacko Headblade visited Litto Gomez’s farm and factory in the Dominican Republic to check out upcoming products and tobacco.  While on the farm Jacko attempted to ride a neighbor's donkey, Gomez commemorated the harsh event by naming both the donkey and the cigar El Jocko." [source]

The Crux of the Matter* <--Note the first sparkle!

We're sitting at the Mr.J's Havana cigar dinner in that seekrit location and the featured cigars are those by Crux.

"Who?" you ask, and rightfully so, because if you happened to spend the summer smoking old favorites, you might have missed this newcomer to the cigar scene. This past June, they launched the Passport, Ninfamaniac, and Skeeterz, followed quickly in July with Classic and the Bull and Bear.

At the dinner, we were given the first three and we jumped right in! We're nice like that!

First up? Passport, which comes in three sizes: the toro (6 x 48,which Valentino happens to be smoking right this second**), 5.5 x 44, and 7 x 40. The wrapper is Ecuadorean, the binder and filler from Nicaragua, which perked Valentino up before he even lit it. After all, as you must know by now, my guy is the #1 fan of Nicaraguan tobacco. 

True story.

When Valentino first toasted and lit the Passport, I waited patiently, slowly slipping the sangria that accidentally wound up in front of me. (That happens a lot at cigar dinners, for some reason.) He didn't make the "This is effing good," face that occasionally occurs upon the first puffs. But because this was something brand-spanking new, he took the time to savor over a third of the cigar (and I waited patiently, savoring one half of the sangria) before making the proclamation that it was pretty darned good.  Definitely worthy of some quality time.

I wasn't sitting directly next to him, poking him and annoying the crap out of him, like I usually am, not unlike a pesky mosquito (or should I say "skeeter"<--see what I did there?) and because there were so many guys smoking different cigars from Crux, I didn't get a chance to enjoy a good second hand smoke, although I did manage to capture and rein in an occasional chocolate and tobacco taste as friends stopped by our table to chat. Sangria makes me chatty.

Valentino said the Passport was hovering on the high-end of medium/low end of full.*** He also said he was getting a variety of flavors as he progressed through the tasty stick. The chocolate was an actual thing--not just my subliminal cry for dessert. He also picked up some cedar and citrus, along with pepper and leather. I continued drinking and accidentally stopped listening.

As the dinner portion of the evening ended, the raffle began and this happened:

Valentino won a travel humidor loaded with Crux cigars, compliments of the company. Thanks, guys! Our hero, along with the three other winners, and (L-R) Cigar Rep Mike Ferraro, Mr. J's Havana's Mark Feeley, Mr. J himself [Paul Joyal], and Tom, son of Mr. J! Huzzah! Congratulations! And if you must know, I also won--a table-top lighter offered by Mike! Thanks, Mike! Thanks all you super awesome guys! Signed, the token girl at the cigar dinners! XOXO

 

When the festivities wound down, we headed home, but then accidentally wound up at Habanos, where Valentino tried out the 7 x 33 Ninfamaniac, which comes in natural and maduro, although we only had a natural handy. The Esteli, Nicaragua filler and Indonesian binder are lovingly wrapped in Habana Jalapa.

 

Halfwheel.com had this to say about the Ninfamaniac's unique shape and taste: "There isn’t much problem burning through the closed foot of the cigar and establishing a somewhat firm but certainly acceptable flow of air that produces more than enough smoke. I do find myself adjusting how much of the cap to clip off in an attempt to preserve some of the pointed head while also ensuring there is enough of an opening to enable adequate air flow. There are touches of sweetness on the palate in the early going, along with some dry soil notes and a certain tangy zing that I’m inclined to think is coming from the Indonesian binder."

He finished that one, smoking it right down to the finger-burning nubbin and we didn't really feel like ending the evening (even though someone had an 8:00 class and had no right even being awake at that time!), so he fired up the third of the evening, the 4 x 32 Skeeterz--perfect for when you want quick and delicious. (Heh heh)  It has the same filler, binder, wrapper elements as the Ninfamaniac, although because of its unique size and shape, offered up a completely different smoke and experience.

Let's go to Halfwheel for the info about this one, because 1. I know he smoked it; I saw it happen, but I have no memory of any other sensory information about it other than seeing the smoke; 2. I forgot to ask Valentino to tell me descriptive words about it, and he's smoked umpity gajillion cigars since then. I've been a bad blogger.****

"Starting into the first third I’m immediately greeted with notes of fresh hay, a little licorice, a touch of light black pepper and some spice. Despite the earlier soft spots the draw is a little on the open end but still well within the ideal range. The smoke production from this little cigar is billowing and plentiful when drawing and drops down to almost no smoke coming off the foot a few seconds after setting it down. Less than an inch into the cigar and the black pepper has ramped up, coming more to the forefront to join the hay and the overall sweet spice while the licorice from the beginning has completely disappeared."

Yeah. What they said. If I were a really good blogger/reporter, I'd get him to smoke another so I could take in the experience and give you a first-hand report. But hahahahahaha. No. (He's out doing man things right now, so I couldn't ask even if I were so inclined.)

ANYWAY! You're probably dying to know who makes all these dandies.

Say "Hello!" to Jeff Haugen and Joel Rogers, co-owners of Tobacco Grove in Maple Grove, Minnesota!

Hello, Gentlemen! You've made our list of favorites! Welcome to the party!

"We have been retailers of premium cigars for over 20 years and have been truly blessed to be involved in selling a product that has done so much good for so many people. Cigars build friendships and community, uniting people from all walks of life. Cigars allow people to relax from the stressors of life, which allows us to sort out the challenges we face. Cigars allow us to celebrate the moments that matter most. Cigars reward us for our successes and help us accept our failures."

I know exactly what you're thinking: Penny***** needs cupcakes.  Ha ha ha. No.******

You were thinking, Sheesh! That's what Penny has been saying all along! The community! The friends! The culture! They're all favorites!

So...the moral(s) of the very very long-winded story:

1. The cigars? They are good! Super good! And...
2. The three we've had so far? Perfect for three different occasions: The "I want to leisurely hang out with friends" (Passport), the "I need to relax but I don't have a shit-ton of time" (Nimfamaniac), and the "Penny doesn't want to leave yet but the place is going to close and I don't want to fire up a cigar that I'm going to have to let die" (Skeeterz). Also...
3. These guys? They're super cool and you definitely want to support them and their new lines of fab cigars. So...
4. It's crucial that you try all the cigars in the Crux line.*******

 

*Sometimes these things just write themselves.

**And by "right this second," I mean this past Monday when I started this blog post. Sometimes, like a good cigar, they need to age a bit before they're released out into the wild.

***Glass half full, half empty. Whatevs.

****Yeah. Like it's the first time.

*****That's me, by the way, in case you haven't been paying attention--ever.

******I mean yes, I always need cupcakes, but that's not what you should have been thinking at that very moment!

*******See what I did there? Crux meaning the crucial point? Plus it's Latin for cross.********

********Yes, I studied Latin in school. And yes, I know my nerd-level just rose exponentially. Yay!

All Hail Caldwell Cigars! And the Caldwell Cigars Dude! Huzzah!!

There we were, finally, at Broadway Cigars, one of our favorite places to hang out. Unfortunately on that day, getting there was a chore because...life. First, I was exhausted because working is stupid. Then I was exhausted from going to the Apple Store. (Is anyone ever NOT exhausted after going to the Apple Store?) Then I watched Valentino play Tetris with his loot from the Mr. J's tent sale. It looked a little something like this:


[source]

How can a girl get through the day with all that on her plate?*  So I fell asleep on the couch, trying to literally push away the migraine from behind my eye.** (Sleeping with a finger in your eye isn't nearly as difficult as you'd think!)

"You can stay home," Valentino said kindly, when I awoke like the beautiful, delicate flower that I am. (Shush, you.)

I probably would have taken him up on that offer if I hadn't sent him out on his own the previous weekend. "You go," I'd said, meaning it--not like the romantic partners who say "You go," but mean, "If you step foot out of this house without me, you're going to regret it for the next month, so you damn well better sit back down."*** I meant, "I am going to sit on this couch and watch HGTV until my eyes start bleeding and be happy about it." Because sometimes you just have to.

But! Long live the king beautiful princess! For she had risen! <--Me, in this scenario. And by "risen," I mean off the couch.

Like the trouper my mom created in her own image, I put in my contacts--and even brushed my hair! Oh, the things I do for the people I adore!! Plus!  I was not going to miss the opportunity to meet up with Robert Caldwell, he of Caldwell Cigars!

Wheeeeee!

 I'm so glad I rallied! I've added him to my list of super cool dudes.****

Duuude...

He and Valentino chatted for a good long time about man-things I can't even begin to understand, while I cozied up on one of Broadway's super comfy chairs and wrote furiously but funnily (not an easy combination) while soaking in the delicious cigar scents wafting around me.

Valentino jumped into the fray with the Eastern Standard Cream Crush:

A Churchill, 7 x 48. What's that?
You want to know who the distinguished man on the band is?
Yeah, wouldn't we all...
(Let's call this photo: Tired of Researching because Someone Needs a Snack.)

Let's work our way into that beauty: The wrapper is Connecticut Hybrid from Ecuador, grown in 2006. Below that, the binder is Dominican Habano (2005). Both are holding together the lovely and delicious combination of aged tobacco from the Nicaragua and Dominican Republic--Dominican Criollo '98 Viso (2008), Dominican Corojo Ligero (2006) and Nicaraguan Habano Seco (2007).

According to Robert, “The Dominican Republic is one of those treasures that hides in plain sight. There is so much fantastic tobacco, so unique and with such distinct flavors. Unfortunately, many don’t make it to market. It is impossible. Big brands are limited to the variety of tobaccos they can use due to the quantity of cigars that they have to make. A few bales of tobacco to the big boys is nothing. The purpose of Caldwell Cigars is to go wherever we must to find the most exotic flavors we can." These premium rare tobaccos definitely distinguish the Caldwell Cigars from its peers.

What does this all mean for the smoker--both first- and second-hand? Pure pleasure!

You know this is Crush from Finding Nemo, right?
Please say you knew that and got the reference immediately. [source]

I demanded***** Valentino approach the Throne of Creativity after he toasted and lit this lovely. It definitely lived up to its moniker, exuding creaminess that made me swoon, with undertones of spiciness and tobacco. A hint of cedar loitered just below that level of flavor but was incredibly subtle and satisfying--unlike another cigar I whiffed recently****** that screamed "Hamster cage!"

This is definitely a cigar I'd enjoy second-hand smoking any time of any day--definitely a keeper. As a matter of fact, recently we were in another shop and someone we didn't know was looking for something light and friendly.<--(My interpretation of what he said.) As he was standing right smack dab in front of the Caldwell selection, we recommended the Eastern Standard. He bought it! (You're welcome, Robert!)

In addition to the Cream Crush, the Eastern Standard line also includes the Dark Connecticuts Euro Express (5.5 x 44) and Corretto (5 x 50). Under the Caldwell name also comes the "Long Live the King" and "The King is Dead" lines. Additionally, Caldwell also shops his Seleccion Junior Varsity collection. Naturally, Valentino partook in a nice sampling of both lines, because 1. He likes supporting new and old cigar friends and 2. He likes cigars.

Duuuuuude...



 You have to know by now that I love good friends and kind people and building strong relationships between friends and demanding good customer service, and respecting companies with the same values.  Before we even got to meet the man behind the Caldwell Cigars, I checked out the company website (::cough:: internet stalker ::cough::) and was greeted with this:

"Caldwell Cigars is a company built by friends for friends. We have labored to bring you the finest quality product with great attention paid to every detail. We are setting out to deliver to our customers special cigars using only the finest, most exotic All-Grade-A tobaccos we can find. We are in this for our love of the leaf******* and our drive to share with you the fruits of our labor."

 

As if that weren't enough, the website also proclaims, "Our business model is simple: Good Cigars, Great Friends and A Strong Conscious."

 

You know, that's not too far from my own motto: "Good cigars, great friends, and staying conscious."

The Other Duuuuude. [source]

*Shut up. I'm looking for sympathy. Indulge me?

**You want to party with me. Oh yes you do!

***Apparently this is actually a thing that people do. It makes me have the sad. 

****Yes, this is an actual thing. If you'd like to know if you're on the list, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to...

*****Actual conversation-- Me: T?  Him: Yes?  Me: Can I have some of your wafting flavors? Him: Of course!

******No, I will never tell you what that was because 1. We're a kind and friendly sort here and 2. I don't remember what it was.

*******

Hey! He said the name of the blog IN the blog! [source]