Know what day it is? Three days after iROBUSTO day!

Oops. Sorry for the delay. I'll make it worth the wait.

Here's a hint as to this week's iROBUSTO column:

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You're welcome, by the way.

So yeah. The article is about how awesome your life will be if your best gal smokes cigars too.

5 things about...Women Cigar Smokers

Why should you encourage your lady to love the leaf?

Our SuperFriend Nathalie!

I informally surveyed my cigar pals about what makes women who smoke cigars so awesome. (Not really a survey. I got them drunk and demanded answers before returning their lighters.)

5.”You get to double your cigar stuff!” Yeah, having extra humidor space could save the day. Looking to try a new cigar? Look! A humidor filled with new-to-you cigars right…there…

4. Brag about her to your friends. Those guys bitch that their wives hate them going out to smoke and coming home “stinking.” Then in strolls your lovely partner who sits down, kisses you, and lights a premium cigar correctly. You hear a “You lucky bastard” or two.

 

 

3. Buying birthday, anniversary, Christmas gifts is a cinch.

Your buddies circle the mall, declaring they won’t buy anything from the jewelry store.  As these poor guys close in on gift-giving day, they weep openly and slide their credit cards under the jewelry store security gate as the store manager tries to close up shop.

But you. You are one lucky SOB. You purchase a high-end monogrammed cutter and lighter. Or a new humidor. Or a box of her favorite cigars. Or or or. Your choices? Limitless.

2. Spend time with your best friend and cigar lounge pals. No leaving her behind as you go out!  No suffering through something she likes! She’s not accompanying you to something she hates!

You’re going out together, hanging with mutual friends with a shared interest. No asking permission to attend a weekend cigar festival. You go together and have a blast!

Do you have to go out together all the time? Gosh no. But you CAN. And that makes all the difference in the world.

 

The number one reason?

 

 

1.      “It’s sexy as fuck,” said every single guy “surveyed.”  Their reasoning:

• Wishful thinking, where the cigar isn’t just a cigar. (Sorry Dr. Freud.)
• A woman cigar smoker exudes power, is more in command; apparently guys like that.
•  She obviously needs relaxation and reflection time, a natural by-product of cigar smoking. 
• When in the company of cigar-smoking women, they don’t have to hold up a forced conversation.
•  Plus the whole wishful (hopeful) thinking thing.

 
This story was originally published on iRobusto.com.

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World! or: Everyone gets a little Psyko or: I went crazy with the sparkles

I gave my Band of Merry Men (or the inmates in my personal asylum) a project and they did so well, they're going to get more. Hahaha! That's the price of doing a good job: More work.* Luckily for these guys, their chores don't constitute hard labor. Unless you consider smoking cigars and hanging out with me a chore--as if that were even possible! After all, it's not like I'm her:

Band of Merry Men charter member and all-around SuperFriend Karl (Hi Karl!) says that "cigars are a mini-vacation." Exactly. (Unless you're with me and I'm hyper-caffeinated, and then it's more of an adventure vacation--no relaxation for you! Or anyone for that matter! Maybe I do get a tad psycho.** But that's a story for another blog post.)

The day Valentino and I received a package from Ventura Cigars, he gave me the "What did you buy now?" look, which is more excited than angry--you know, because those boxes generally contain cigars or cigar swag.***

I shrugged. I didn't think I'd bought anything, but who can ever say for sure? Besides American Express, that is.

This time? Ventura's Psyko Seven Maduro! Wheeee!

What's in the box? What's in the fucking box?****
5.5 x 50 robustos. That's what's in the box!
(Also, the name of the movie fits this cigar perfectly.)

I don't even smoke the damn things and I got all giddy because...packaging! You can take the girl out of the marketing department but you can't take the marketing department out of the girl...

Founded in 2006, Ventura Cigar Co. showcases a large portfolio of cigars, including Hugo Cassar, Cuban Rejects, Cuban Rounds, Pura Sangre, Pura Sangre Edicion 2012, Plasencia Organica Reserva, Estilo Cubano, PsyKo SEVEN, PsyKo SEVEN maduro, and Project 805.

Two years ago, the company updated their look, with a "killer website, and a renewed vision for the future of the company. We know there is a growing contingent of smoker out there just waiting to be the first to try the next big thing, to tell their story, and to be part of a larger social experience," according to that very company website.

It's like they know us! After all, we live and breathe social experience--hence the cigar shenanigans. Also, we're a wee bit nutty.

Some deets, for those of you here for actual information, not just aforementioned shenanigans:*****

Wrapper: San Andreas

Binder: Mexican Sumatra

Filler: Multiple Country Blend

Country of Origin: Dominican Republic

We let them rest for a few days and headed to our research laboratory. Okay, Habanos Cigar Lounge, in Pawtucket, RI actually, but "research laboratory" sounds much more impressive--like we actually know what we're doing. Hahahaha. As if. There's no doubt we should be in white coats, though--just not lab coats. Perhaps something a little more form-fitting:

When we arrived, I plopped into a comfy chair, joined soon after by another charter member and SuperFriend, Jim. (Hi Jim!) And then Karl made an appearance; both settled within the enclave as Valentino strolled back over. You'd think I'd shone a signal beacon in the sky and these kind gentlemen answered the call. Or serendipity happened. Either works for the story.

"You have to smoke these now," I told them in my most bossy way while thrusting cigars into their faces.******

One of them said he wanted to finish his current smoke. I gave him the stare and he rested the lit cigar on the ashtray.

   <--Jim  Karl -->  

Most fun thing ever to do? Give three people the same cigar but have them begin smoking at different times. Over the course of each cutting, toasting, and lighting, they all agreed about an aromatic taste in the beginning, as if the cigar were on its best behavior. After that, came "I taste a lot of pepper" from the first man (first man of the group, not the first man ever) to move beyond the aromaticness (an awesome made-up word, a word made up by me, who is awesome).

The remaining Band members shook their collective heads, looking at him as if he were crazy. "I'm not getting that," said Karl. We chatted about upcoming outings (Perhaps commandeering a boat and going deep sea fishing?) and then Valentino, admitted to the ward last, said, "I'm getting a lot of pepper."



Perhaps a nice boat ride, gentlemen?

This happened time and again, as if Jim, the first smoker touching flame to stick, was both Lewis and Clark.******* Or perhaps Randle Patrick McMurphy, leading the charge at a certain Oregon mental institution.

"I tried to knock the ash off and it wouldn't go," Karl pointed out. "That's a well-made cigar." True story. When you remove the cigar's straight jacket, you get something near perfection:

The Band mumbled about cedar and leather and other delicious notes as they worked their way through. Best part, though? As the first starter finished up, he noted  "It's weirdly peppery again. But weird pepper." The others nodded, like he was a bit of a lunatic; how could something be weirdly peppery. It's either peppery or not.

But when Karl hit the same mark, he said, "Oh. Yes. Weirdly peppery." He achieved maximum pensiveness and literally held up a finger. "It's like a 9-volt battery on the tip of my tongue." Ah. Shock therapy.  A few minutes later, the third and final member of the Band said, "Oh yeah" and grabbed at his tongue.) "Huh. That is weird." (I assume that's what he said, as he held his tongue as he spoke.) And then, because our hero is our hero, he went in for more.

Jim looked at his cigar nubbin. "It kept changing with every draw." He stuck a finger in his mouth and said around the roadblock, "And it was a real finger-burner." Warning: Expect a digit-scorching while trying to suck the ever-lovin' last drop of life from the cigar, not unlike sucking the ever-loving life out of McMurphy. (Ooops. Spoiler alert. But really, you must have seen this movie or read the book, right? Right?)

Valentino nodded. "That's why they call is Psyko."

We all nodded and uttered a collective "Ahhhh...Juicy Fruit." <--Not really. They just said, "Ahhhh," but I couldn't pass up an opportunity like that.

For realz. This is one of the best scenes in the movie.

And now, the sparkles:

*When I was a kid and my dad asked me to sweep the floor, I did a crappy job. Then I didn't have to do it again. You can call me crazy, but I prefer clever.

**I'm going to look like a genius in a couple of paragraphs for this reference.

***You know the stereotype where the woman shops and hides purchases and the guy gets mad and can't buy cigars and stuff because aforementioned woman hates that smell? We're the opposite. Complete and total opposite.

****I say this way too much, but in my head, it's hilarious every time. Also, hilarious is one of my new favorite words, right up there with blunderbuss and onomatopoeia. <--Didn't even have to look up the spelling. I love it THAT much. BOOM! <--If you know the definition of onomatopoeia, That, too, is hilarious.

*****I currently fancy myself the shenanigator, my new superhero name.

******Men hate this, right? Hahahahaa.

*******That makes me Sacagawea, I guess. But that's a terrible superhero name. With all these personalities, I'm being to look very Three Faces of Eve, which juuuussssttt happens to fit with the whole post's theme. If you need me, I'll be over here feeling smug.

Words of Wisdom #79

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"There's something about smoking a cigar that feels like a celebration. It's like a fine wine. There's a quality, a workmanship, a passion that goes into the smoking of a fine cigar."

-Demi Moore

This quotation made me giggle with delight.

In the process of researching* a column for iRobusto, I came across this:

Freeman

“There is a strong distinction between cigarette smokers and cigar smokers,” says Jemma Freeman, the sixth-generation owner of the London-based Havana cigar importer Hunters & Frankau. “What we hear from bars and restaurants is that cigar smokers are civilized people who spend money and spend time.”

A-freaking-men.



*I am a mad researcher. Unless I'm feeling lazy, in which case I resort to Wikipedia. Don't judge.

Words of Wisdom #71

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"There's something about smoking a cigar that feels like a celebration.

It's like a fine wine.

There's a quality, a workmanship,

a passion that goes into the smoking of a fine cigar."

-Demi Moore

Words of Wisdom #70

 

[source]

"A fine cigar is just like a woman.

If you don't light it up just right and suck on it with a certain frequency,

it will go out on you."

-Unknown

Words of Wisdom #45

One of these days I'll write the blog post that's in my head about this subject.*



*Get in line, buddy. Plenty of ideas ahead of you.

Words of Wisdom #33

Not really a Words of Wisdom, but funny!

The Caballeros Ride Again: Cigar Dinner Edition!

Oh, you know we love a nice fundraiser, especially when cigars are involved!

About a hundred years ago--a month maybe?-- Caballero #2 told us about a cigar dinner to support the Young America Club in Plymouth, MA.*

But the really enticing part? The Caballeros would be together again, after a too-long hiatus, on which I blame 1. travel; 2. being an adult; 3. stupid crap. So we said "Meh!"** to the comedy show tickets we'd already purchased*** and readied up for some serious cigarocity**** at the Young America Club.

As the event was supported by General Cigars, upon arrival, we received this bounty:

And thanks, Brennan's Smoke Shop! Hi Geoff!

Caballero #2 dove into this beauty and our hero followed suit:

See those raffle tickets in the background?
They're going to play a part in the story soon...

According to the La Gloria Cubana website "Available only at fine tobacconist stores, Serie R® Estelí was the second blend to surface during the blending process. Beefed by a top priming Jalapa Sol wrapper and rounded out by a combination of visos and ligeros, Serie R® Estelí sings her Nicaraguan song at the top of her lungs."

Plus, there was food, and we love foods.***** Valentino and all the other boys we love (Hi Caballero #2! Hi Three Amigos!******)

I willingly gave up my lobster. Too much work for too little return.
Now mashed potatoes...yeah baby.

Then there was the winning portion of the show. Er, I mean, the raffle portion of the show. Oh, who am I kidding.  Of course we won. We win a lot.*******

So...this:

Thanks again, General Cigar!

We had our doubts upon receipt of these winnings.

Michael Giannini and his team created the Foundry Worm Hole line, which pays tribute to the concept of the  "Worm Hole" -  and time travel; the Foundry Worm Hole line pays tribute to the past, present, and future. "The inspiration for Worm Hole starts at the year 1964, moves to present day 2014, and finally 50 years in the future to 2064.  The Worm Hole series has a blend for 50 years past (1964 Blend),  Current State (2014 Blend), and 50 years into the future (2064 Blend)" according to an article on Cigar Coop.

"Consistent with most of the Foundry portfolio, the details of the tobaccos have not been disclosed, but these are said to include rare tobaccos that have not been used before." The 2026, which we now own (Thanks, General Cigar for the product donations!) features "a unique keepsake (non-paper) cigar band." when we opened the box and saw 24 6 x 52 cigars clad in plastic, our inner skeptics kicked the winning gene in the head and took over.

Then Valentino lit one up. Much happiness ensued. It was sweet and creamy, with a little pepperiness. Then I lost sight of the smoke (if that's possible) because then he won this:

And thanks again again!
And you can tell by the blurriness of this picture, that I took it.
Because I am that awesome.

So I leave you with this, the folks who helped us carry out all our loot:

Josh Rashid and his daddio Caballero #2,
General Cigar's Marc Lagace, and our hero, Valentino. 

Hahaha. Just kidding (kind of)! But thanks to you guys and the Three Amigos for being so great!********


*Yes, where the Pilgrims lived. No, there weren't any there.

**And by this, I mean we sold them on Craigslist.

***We were in the middle of saying, "Darn, I think we're going to eat those tickets" about three hours before the comedy show when his phone rang and someone asked if the tickets were still available. It was a ticket miracle! We're hoping that's not the only miracle we get for the rest of the year.

****That is too a word.

*****Although gentlemen planners, no dessert? What the what? Granted, there were only two women at the dinner (Yay!), but...but...

******Who are actually three brothers--triplets!

*******This has nothing to do with me.  I lose a lot. Valentino, like my dad, has the winning gene. Only occasionally does this gene shed its recessive trait and rear its winningness head.

********

Not really my Three Amigos,
but representative of their awesomeness.

As we say here in Massachusetts: Winnah! or: This post brought to you by Benadryl

I have been very itchy lately, as I am allergic to...something. Could it be work? Ummm...maybe? Anyway, I get through the day thanks to Benadryl. You need to know all that in order for the rest of this silliness to make sense.

Hello, friend

I printed out all the names of folks who entered the October cigar giveaway and was going over to the drawer to get the scissors* to make little strips and put them in a vessel of some sort and get Valentino to pick one. I put the paper down in order to freshen up the Benadryl level in my system. While attempting to pop that little pink bitch out of the hermetically-sealed packaging, it fell out and bounced a few times on the paper, ultimately landing smack dab on one person's name.

Look, I know a sign when I see one. And this was a sign, the little bouncing neon pink pill.

And so, by the Order of Benadryl, the winner of the J Grotto Anniversary cigars is...

Nina Mako!!

Usually, the winners receive cigars stolen directly from the 2,000-count humidor here at Casa Awesome.** BUT! The super kind folks at Mr. J's Havana Shop gave us the cigars to give our winner! Thank you thank you thank you!! So Nina will receive two of these, although I can't remember which two... It'll be a surprise!! For both of us!!

Huzzah! Yay! Wahoo!!!!

What's the Cigar of the Month for November?  Howzabout a couple of these?

Yeah, baby!

*We are very organized here at Casa Awesome and the scissors are always ALWAYS in exactly the same place.

**You might be thinking, Well Valentino would never even know they're missing if you have that many!  You'd be very wrong. He knows what's in there and, if you must know, each cigar is lovingly placed "just so"... so he'd know. 

Words of Wisdom #30

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To smoke is human; to smoke cigars is divine.

--Unknown

Words of Wisdom #22

 

 

"A cigar numbs sorrow and fills the solitary hours with a million gracious images."
-- George Sand

Mommy, Where do Liga Privada wrappers come from? Or: Another amazingly fun place and time with amazingly fun people!!

The other day, we went here:

Hahahaha. No, I did not take this picture. [source]

Organized by the nice folks at the Connecticut Valley Tobacco Museum, we attended the 4th Annual Cigar BBQ where the Two Cabelleros and the Three Musketeers got together for an awesome time! (And me, of course.)

Birds of a feather...oh. Wait. Not a feather among them!

Before we got to the food and cigar portion of the show, we were lucky enough to take a tour of a working tobacco farm. Steve Jarmoc (below) explained the broadleaf and Havana growing process, from seed to sticks. I want to tell you all about that serious coolness soon, but right now let's focus on this event, okay?

See the tobacco over this nice man's head?
Pretty good chance that's going to make Drew Estate cigar wrappers.* Just sayin'...

A little bit creepy and a lotta bit cool.

During the drying process.

Two sides of the same leaf.
So, in turning over a new leaf--you get something completely different! 

Yeah. That happened. Cabellero #2 and his broadleaf chapeau.**

Would you like some T*** and tobacco?

Then we headed back to the museum, where the amazing Karin Mills Tranghese, owner of Cigar Room II generously, generously, generously gave each of the attendees an awesome goodie bag of two cigars, a cutter, and matches. (Naturally, Valentino walked away with mine as well; I guess that's just as well, since he paid for my ticket.)

Karin and the Caballeros.  What a great band name!

Nat Hayden's Real Pit BBQ provided some delicious food, which gave us energy to roam the grounds, checking out the antique farm equipment and cool museum displays--and smoke/second-hand smoke cigars!!

I'd say how sad I am that I have to wait a whole year to hang out with these folks again, but BUT!! A bunch of us are heading to this event:

You should join us!!

*::cough:: Liga Privada ::cough::

**That's French for "fancy-ass hat."

***That's what I call Valentino. Maybe if you're nice, you can, too. It requires a letter of request and three references. Or give him a cigar. A good one.

Words of Wisdom #10

Don't you think she'd be cool to hang around with? [source]

 

"Any man who doesn't partake in cigar smoking is nothing more than

a weak-willed, meandering oaf,

and I would never put my lips to those of any creature, man or beast,

whose lips were not fresh awash in the currents of cigar smoke."

--Catherine the Great 

 

 

BONUS! Some interesting facts about Catherine the Great (Get all the details here!):

"I will poke you with this pointy stick and there's nothing you can do about it because I am great. 
It says so right there in my name."

1. Catherine the Great’s name wasn’t Catherine, and she wasn’t even Russian.
 
2. Catherine’s eldest son—and heir—may have been illegitimate.

3. Catherine came to power in a bloodless coup that later turned deadly.

4. Catherine faced down more than a dozen uprisings during her reign.

5. Being Catherine the Great’s lover came with huge rewards.

6. Catherine saw herself as an enlightened ruler.
7. Contrary to popular myth, Catherine died a fairly mundane, uneventful death.

8. Catherine’s eldest son met the same grisly fate as his father.