The Successful Cigar Lounge (Employee edition)

Jorge Padron [source] 

"...the focus should be on quality, not quantity.  By this I mean that it is not necessarily the biggest store or walk-in humidor that makes a tobacconist great, [sic] it is the quality of the employees that make the difference. Tobacconists that understand their customers' needs and preferences, and who pair that with the perfect product for that particular smoker, are successful at what they do." 

--Jorge Padron, from the Foreword in The Tabacconist Handbook

We've been thinking a lot about cigar lounges lately: What makes one successful and another not-so-much.

In a completely unscientific and totally slipshod experiment, using the word "experiment" so loose it's probably turning tricks on a shitty city street corner, we've made a few notes about what works and what doesn't in a cigar lounge (as it relates to humidor/cigar sales only).

These brain musings focus on the sales clerk/staff only (in no particular order). We'll take on the other aspects another day.

The Good Clerk

• Wants to know what you currently smoke.
• Offers recommendations through conversation rather than hard-selling a specific cigar.
• Remains in the vicinity for quick assistance but no so close you feel you need to buy him/her a drink. 
• Understands at least the basic cigar terminology and doesn't look like a confused cheerleader when you ask for a lancero.
• Shares info about the shop if you're new, including regular events and upcoming special events.

The Not-so-good Clerk

• Know everything about everything and anything you say is wrong. 
• Holds the world championship title in oneupsmanship.
• Follows you so closely that onlookers mistake you for newlyweds.
• Makes you look up a price in the humidor. 
• Is constantly surprised by the stock.
• Is too busy talking to other patrons to acknowledge your presence. (This is cousin to the clerk who stays on the phone without even making eye contact.) 
• Obviously works on commission or needs to meet a sales quota because you aren't getting past him unless you hand over your wallet or at least your AmEx. 

The Head-banging-on-counter/why-does-this-person-have-a-job? Clerk

• Doesn't greet you when you walk into the shop.
• Consistently mispronounces company/brand names--Olivia cigars, anyone?
• Goes missing when you need to pay. 
• Doesn't listen.
• Says "I just work here." 
• Tells you to give him a flat amount of cash where he's sitting rather than ringing you up. You don't need a receipt, right?
• Obviously steals from the owner. (Do you tell the owner? This is a post for another day.)

You've surely seen most, if not all, of these scenarios at one point or another.  Join us in applauding the Good Clerk. Thank the guy or gal personally. Then go one step further and tell the shop owner or manager about the great service.

If you own a shop, we recommend checking out these books:

Available for purchase here.

 

Available here.

More than the number of cigars your humidor holds or how many special events and dinners you hold, excellent customer service is what brings people back to your shop. Make sure every customer has an excellent visit. After all, you never know who they could recommend visit--or discourage from visiting your shop.

Camp Kristoff, Part the First

Not too long ago,* Glen Case (Hi Glen!), the head-honcho of Kristoff Cigars, visited Habanos, one of our favorite hang-outs, a place in our own back yard...

You remember Glen, right? We first met him at Havana Cigar Lounge in West Warwick, RI.

Havana owner Todd LaScola, our hero, and Glen Case.

Well, one night we were shenaniganning** over at Broadway Cigars at a Montecristo event and then later rolled closer to home, into Habanos. And there was Glen Case! It was like we walked into our own back yard and happily found a cool kid from a neighboring neighborhood! Yay!

Unlike the first time we hung around with him, which was an actual Kristoff event, whereby he was required to be an adult in full-adult mode; this time he had the relaxation cranked up to 11.

After we settled in, giving out lots of "hello" kisses, Valentino lit one of these delights, which we'd previously purchased at that Havana event:

The 685 Woodlawn, on the right.
That's the star of this show.

Glen stopped mid-sentence and said, "Where did you get that cigar?"

Valentino took the cigar from his mouth and looked at it, just to remind himself which delicious stick consumed his senses. "At the event in West Warwick," he said, making his way to the bar with Glen and Jarrid Trudeau (Hi Jarrid!), a cool dude in his own right and Kristoff's Northeast rep, to sit with me.

"That's my favorite stick," Glen said. "I don't even have any of those in my humidor at home."

Now if you must know, I have some mad internet skillz.*** So when Glen reiterated the lack of 685s, I hauled out my laptop and began a search.

Pretend I'm currently searching and during the lull, we'll cut away to a montage of information about this cigar:

• The cigar's name comes from the house he grew up in. 685 Woodlawn in the suburbs of Chicago. See? That makes me love it already because you must know by now how much I love a good story. By the way, it's not the family homestead any more, but an ode to your first home? Awesomely cool. (As a side note, Mom and Dad? Don't plan on moving out of that house, especially to move to Florida, as all your peers have. Stay put.)
• A small batch released in April-ish 2013, only 2,000 boxes of 10 were made.
• The wrapper is from Brazil, binder from Nicaragua, and filler from Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, and a super secret place--maybe Oz? Santa's workshop? Brigadoon****? 
• Comes in one size, the 6 1/2 x 60 perfecto--one of our favorite shapes!
• I love love love this cigar. (I seem to have a real fondness for small batches, as if the more I know I can't get it, the more I want it. But that's pretty much the way of life, right?)

Glen and Valentino***** whooping it up.
Actually, they were discussion serious life things
while I challenged the mighty internets to a duel.
I won.

So within moments, I found a few boxes of the 685 available for purchase and gave Glen and Jarrid the info. I guess if I were a really good person, I would have bought him a box, and a box for ourselves...but...no.  Of course I regret this now. Or I did! <--Blatant forshadowing.

That night Valentino smoked his one and only 685, filling my lungs with some serious sweetness with a background of pepper. Kind of like smelling and tasting the fruit pie Nana is making in the house while simultaneously inhaling the heavily-peppered steaks' smoke wafting from the neighbors' grill. If you could get both flavors in your face at the same time--the pepperiness, the fruitiness, and the creamy, buttery crust, you'd be experiencing the 685 Woodlawn.

The night over, we were left with some super fun memories of time with our Kristoff friends and the Kristoff cigars. Now the story should end there, but no, because there's another chapter to the story.

On our way to visit my son in West Virginia for the holidays, we accidentally drove by the most massive of cigar stores, Cigars International in Hamburg, PA. Come on, we were driving right by the exit. And we needed gas anyway...

Just a teeny tiny bit of the gigantean place!
Lousy picture by moi!

One of the first things we saw as we entered the store? (That foreshadowing comes into play now.) We saw this:

Oh my sweet darling...

We scooped these up and asked about more.  The very nice staff lady searched high and low, climbing ladders to look in way high cubbies and giving herself a headrush looking in the store's deep, dark crevices.  And know what? She found another box! That was some amazeballs customer service!  We took them and ran!

This isn't true. I held them close to myself, like a treasured Latin textbook****** and we slowly perused the entire store, twice.

We're heading home from our travels tomorrow and I hope on Tuesday we can do some more research with these, see if they will once again help me relive the long, slow, sunny days of a childhood summer--even if I am a grownup now (boo) and we've just entered a long winter (double boo). I may ask Valentino to bring two.





*Keeping in mind I have real issues with time passing quickly and not recognizing it.

**A real word in Penny World.

***Not nearly as good as my friend Shelagh, who could teach a master class, but still better than the average schmoe.

****One of my all-time favorite plays.

*****This picture is actually from later in the evening, when our hero had moved on to a different Kristoff cigar.

******I'm probably the only one who ever actually treasured a textbook, right? Especially a Latin one? Thought so. Just to let you know, I still have my high school Latin books.

All Hail Caldwell Cigars! And the Caldwell Cigars Dude! Huzzah!!

There we were, finally, at Broadway Cigars, one of our favorite places to hang out. Unfortunately on that day, getting there was a chore because...life. First, I was exhausted because working is stupid. Then I was exhausted from going to the Apple Store. (Is anyone ever NOT exhausted after going to the Apple Store?) Then I watched Valentino play Tetris with his loot from the Mr. J's tent sale. It looked a little something like this:


[source]

How can a girl get through the day with all that on her plate?*  So I fell asleep on the couch, trying to literally push away the migraine from behind my eye.** (Sleeping with a finger in your eye isn't nearly as difficult as you'd think!)

"You can stay home," Valentino said kindly, when I awoke like the beautiful, delicate flower that I am. (Shush, you.)

I probably would have taken him up on that offer if I hadn't sent him out on his own the previous weekend. "You go," I'd said, meaning it--not like the romantic partners who say "You go," but mean, "If you step foot out of this house without me, you're going to regret it for the next month, so you damn well better sit back down."*** I meant, "I am going to sit on this couch and watch HGTV until my eyes start bleeding and be happy about it." Because sometimes you just have to.

But! Long live the king beautiful princess! For she had risen! <--Me, in this scenario. And by "risen," I mean off the couch.

Like the trouper my mom created in her own image, I put in my contacts--and even brushed my hair! Oh, the things I do for the people I adore!! Plus!  I was not going to miss the opportunity to meet up with Robert Caldwell, he of Caldwell Cigars!

Wheeeeee!

 I'm so glad I rallied! I've added him to my list of super cool dudes.****

Duuude...

He and Valentino chatted for a good long time about man-things I can't even begin to understand, while I cozied up on one of Broadway's super comfy chairs and wrote furiously but funnily (not an easy combination) while soaking in the delicious cigar scents wafting around me.

Valentino jumped into the fray with the Eastern Standard Cream Crush:

A Churchill, 7 x 48. What's that?
You want to know who the distinguished man on the band is?
Yeah, wouldn't we all...
(Let's call this photo: Tired of Researching because Someone Needs a Snack.)

Let's work our way into that beauty: The wrapper is Connecticut Hybrid from Ecuador, grown in 2006. Below that, the binder is Dominican Habano (2005). Both are holding together the lovely and delicious combination of aged tobacco from the Nicaragua and Dominican Republic--Dominican Criollo '98 Viso (2008), Dominican Corojo Ligero (2006) and Nicaraguan Habano Seco (2007).

According to Robert, “The Dominican Republic is one of those treasures that hides in plain sight. There is so much fantastic tobacco, so unique and with such distinct flavors. Unfortunately, many don’t make it to market. It is impossible. Big brands are limited to the variety of tobaccos they can use due to the quantity of cigars that they have to make. A few bales of tobacco to the big boys is nothing. The purpose of Caldwell Cigars is to go wherever we must to find the most exotic flavors we can." These premium rare tobaccos definitely distinguish the Caldwell Cigars from its peers.

What does this all mean for the smoker--both first- and second-hand? Pure pleasure!

You know this is Crush from Finding Nemo, right?
Please say you knew that and got the reference immediately. [source]

I demanded***** Valentino approach the Throne of Creativity after he toasted and lit this lovely. It definitely lived up to its moniker, exuding creaminess that made me swoon, with undertones of spiciness and tobacco. A hint of cedar loitered just below that level of flavor but was incredibly subtle and satisfying--unlike another cigar I whiffed recently****** that screamed "Hamster cage!"

This is definitely a cigar I'd enjoy second-hand smoking any time of any day--definitely a keeper. As a matter of fact, recently we were in another shop and someone we didn't know was looking for something light and friendly.<--(My interpretation of what he said.) As he was standing right smack dab in front of the Caldwell selection, we recommended the Eastern Standard. He bought it! (You're welcome, Robert!)

In addition to the Cream Crush, the Eastern Standard line also includes the Dark Connecticuts Euro Express (5.5 x 44) and Corretto (5 x 50). Under the Caldwell name also comes the "Long Live the King" and "The King is Dead" lines. Additionally, Caldwell also shops his Seleccion Junior Varsity collection. Naturally, Valentino partook in a nice sampling of both lines, because 1. He likes supporting new and old cigar friends and 2. He likes cigars.

Duuuuuude...



 You have to know by now that I love good friends and kind people and building strong relationships between friends and demanding good customer service, and respecting companies with the same values.  Before we even got to meet the man behind the Caldwell Cigars, I checked out the company website (::cough:: internet stalker ::cough::) and was greeted with this:

"Caldwell Cigars is a company built by friends for friends. We have labored to bring you the finest quality product with great attention paid to every detail. We are setting out to deliver to our customers special cigars using only the finest, most exotic All-Grade-A tobaccos we can find. We are in this for our love of the leaf******* and our drive to share with you the fruits of our labor."

 

As if that weren't enough, the website also proclaims, "Our business model is simple: Good Cigars, Great Friends and A Strong Conscious."

 

You know, that's not too far from my own motto: "Good cigars, great friends, and staying conscious."

The Other Duuuuude. [source]

*Shut up. I'm looking for sympathy. Indulge me?

**You want to party with me. Oh yes you do!

***Apparently this is actually a thing that people do. It makes me have the sad. 

****Yes, this is an actual thing. If you'd like to know if you're on the list, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to...

*****Actual conversation-- Me: T?  Him: Yes?  Me: Can I have some of your wafting flavors? Him: Of course!

******No, I will never tell you what that was because 1. We're a kind and friendly sort here and 2. I don't remember what it was.

*******

Hey! He said the name of the blog IN the blog! [source]

Boom. That's customer service, bitches. (A tutorial)

We had one hell of a customer service day last Friday. Hell in a good way.

After I taught a couple of classes, Valentino and I headed to Mr. J's Havana Shop's tent sale, which was under an actual tent. We love love love the folks there (Hi Paul! Hi Mark! Hi Tom! Hi Nate!) and they helped us pile up huge quantities of awesome sticks and then asked us to pay for them. We did, because we're nice like that. And American Express is nice enough to let us be nice. 

So, yeah. This happened:

I later accidentally fell asleep on the couch
while Valentino played Tetris in the humidor.
I didn't think he'd need to so soon after purchasing
the 2,000-count gorgeous monstrosity, but two months later...yep. Tetris.

 

I'd tell you to go and check out the sale but I'm not going to because 1. By the time I finish writing this, the tent will be packed up until next year, and 2. I don't think there was much left after we left. (Sorry, latecomers!!) [Added: 3. This post has been sitting in the drafts folder for a week. There's a reason I don't work in newspaper journalism--deadlines and timelines are dumb.]

Anyway, after the cigar bonanza, we went to PF Chang's for lunch because someone was crabby and hungry and headachy. (Hint: It was me.). We got the lettuce wraps and Wonton BABS.* The lettuce of the lettuce wraps? Yucky. Limp and brown.**  And who likes that?***

We wept over the limp**** lettuce and asked the server for a better collection of leaves. She was super nice and replaced them. We then happily rolled chicken into lettuce, making lettuce wrap cigars, ha ha, which sounds ridiculous until you taste it.*****

Then! Then the manager came over, apologized for the lousy lettuce, and said, "That's on me." That's how you do it, business folks. We will definitely go back there, rather than the one further away, because he created some serious goodwill. (Why am I feeling the need to use the word "lettuce" ad nauseum? ::shrugs:: You're welcome.)

Then, we trudged to the Apple Store because ugh. People. And kids. And overly enthusiastic salespeople, er, geniuses, er, whatever they're called. And even more people, each and every one of them making a ton of noise. The previous weekend, I did what my Almighty iPhone commanded of me and upgraded to iOS 8. And my camera stopped focusing. I didn't know where to put the Adderall, so we went to the Verizon store. The staff collectively made the "Huh, that's weird" face and sent us to Apple. 

It took over a week to muster up the courage and energy to actually go to the Apple Store, and when we did, we were told we could come back the next day because that was the next appointment. Oh, Saturday afternoon at the Apple Store sounds like a dream come true.******  Oh, and they told us that they'd be happy to replace it for us. For almost $300 dollars. But we needed to come back the next day for someone to make that joyousness happen.

Valentino did the thing he did, which I can't understand or explain,******* and before I knew it, we were in front of a manager who told us we didn't need another appointment and they'd replace the phone at no cost to us. I do have to wait for it to be delivered to the store, because they didn't have any in stock. I'm okay with that, although I never realized how often I use the camera throughout the day until I couldn't.********

Two days later, new phone, with camera! And they said it would be 3-5 days!

Talk about amazeballs customer service, the day's awesomeness didn't end there! After Valentino's Tetris session, we headed to Broadway Cigars.  (Hi Bobby! Hi John! Hi JV!) Bam. We love going there. They treat us like family--although they haven't asked us to help them move or take them to the airport yet, so...almost like family. We'll tell you more about that in a second!! <--I'll even put a link in there, as soon as I write the post!! Done!

::types furiously::

PS:

Let's revisit this picture again for a second.
Some of this may be Christmas presents for someone who is not Valentino.
You'll have to wait and see what you get, mister. No calling dibs on anything.

 

*Big Ass Bowl of Soup

**We're talking about lettuce, people. Lettuce. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

***Answer: No one.

****Not really weeping. Just a spot of despair.

*****It will probably still sound ridiculous, but you will forgive it immediately. 

*****Said no one ever. 

******It's something you have to see to believe. And you can never copy it. My mom says he could charm a starving dog off a meat wagon. 

*******Isn't that always the way?

Opa!: Opa!

Outstanding customer service: We all want it. We rarely get it.

True story.

Except!

Except yesterday* we were punched in the face with awesomeness.

(I'll throw a cigar reference in here somewhere to make the post relevant, but sometimes an amazeballs deed needs to be shouted from the rooftops. Or the back patio with the scent of fresh linen citronella candles wafting in the air. From wherever, it needs to be shouted...)

We were on Federal Hill, natch, and stopped at Opa, which we may have mentioned we love once (or a hundred times). We sat at one of the sidewalk tables so Valentino could smoke his cigar** while we drank sangria and waited for our food.

Not last night, but representative of a night. 
See that table on the left? That's where we were!

Valentino ordered the thing he loves, raw kibbeh, which is usually accompanied by fresh pita bread, raw onions, and mint.***  Except the dish, she was mintless.  He asked the young man,**** who brought the food, for mint (which is probably growing out of control in all your back yards).  He reported back that they were out.

[This is worthy of a separate paragraph rather than a sparkle--they were out because their delivery that morning included a box of old, yucky, brown mint rather than new, delicious, green mint. It was not the kitchen's fault.]

Valentino sulked for a moment and began the process of eating, because freshly ground meat served raw really shouldn't sit around, mint or no.

Francois, son of owners Aline and Joe Karam, poked around to see how we were doing. Valentino mentioned his disappointment at the missing ingredient and he started to go back to the kitchen to check.  We stopped him, saying there wasn't any. He went to check anyway, and then came out of the restaurant and headed...away.

He came back and told us he'd just asked two neighboring restaurants***** if they had mint. They didn't.  Then, before we could stop him, he headed in the other direction, returning a moment later with a bagful.

Success!

Francois didn't have to seek out the mint, but he did. Little courtesies like that make all difference between a good restaurant and a great restaurant. Time and again, Opa is a super great awesome restaurant.

The couple who sat next to us just before we left ordered the raw kibbeh as well. Their dish had mint. To them, we say, "You're welcome."

I'm going to tell you more about this cigar, which he smoked at Opa, later.
But let's call this cigar reference #2. Feel better? I do. 

 

*It actually wasn't yesterday, but the actual day doesn't matter to the story. I would have gotten this out on time but I was stymied (both good and bad) every time I got close to posting. First, the power flickered a few times, which meant the modem reset and I'd have to fiddle with that silliness. Then Cabellero #2 said he was on his way to the area and did we want to meet up. This involved some serious costume change from curly-haired house-bound crazy-writer****** to semi-normal person who would not elicit gasps of disgust or horror (hopefully). Double then, we get home, I settle in, and...the power goes out on the whole street. I ate Reese's cereal and went to bed. What else could I do?

**Cigar reference!

***Perfect date food? You can tell we've been together for quite a while...

****We're old, so we can say things like this without irony.

*****In case you didn't know, Atwells Avenue on Federal Hill is literally lined with restaurants, with the occasional tattoo parlor and bakery.

******Poor Valentino. The bloom is off the rose.