Boom. That's customer service, bitches. (A tutorial)

We had one hell of a customer service day last Friday. Hell in a good way.

After I taught a couple of classes, Valentino and I headed to Mr. J's Havana Shop's tent sale, which was under an actual tent. We love love love the folks there (Hi Paul! Hi Mark! Hi Tom! Hi Nate!) and they helped us pile up huge quantities of awesome sticks and then asked us to pay for them. We did, because we're nice like that. And American Express is nice enough to let us be nice. 

So, yeah. This happened:

I later accidentally fell asleep on the couch
while Valentino played Tetris in the humidor.
I didn't think he'd need to so soon after purchasing
the 2,000-count gorgeous monstrosity, but two months later...yep. Tetris.

 

I'd tell you to go and check out the sale but I'm not going to because 1. By the time I finish writing this, the tent will be packed up until next year, and 2. I don't think there was much left after we left. (Sorry, latecomers!!) [Added: 3. This post has been sitting in the drafts folder for a week. There's a reason I don't work in newspaper journalism--deadlines and timelines are dumb.]

Anyway, after the cigar bonanza, we went to PF Chang's for lunch because someone was crabby and hungry and headachy. (Hint: It was me.). We got the lettuce wraps and Wonton BABS.* The lettuce of the lettuce wraps? Yucky. Limp and brown.**  And who likes that?***

We wept over the limp**** lettuce and asked the server for a better collection of leaves. She was super nice and replaced them. We then happily rolled chicken into lettuce, making lettuce wrap cigars, ha ha, which sounds ridiculous until you taste it.*****

Then! Then the manager came over, apologized for the lousy lettuce, and said, "That's on me." That's how you do it, business folks. We will definitely go back there, rather than the one further away, because he created some serious goodwill. (Why am I feeling the need to use the word "lettuce" ad nauseum? ::shrugs:: You're welcome.)

Then, we trudged to the Apple Store because ugh. People. And kids. And overly enthusiastic salespeople, er, geniuses, er, whatever they're called. And even more people, each and every one of them making a ton of noise. The previous weekend, I did what my Almighty iPhone commanded of me and upgraded to iOS 8. And my camera stopped focusing. I didn't know where to put the Adderall, so we went to the Verizon store. The staff collectively made the "Huh, that's weird" face and sent us to Apple. 

It took over a week to muster up the courage and energy to actually go to the Apple Store, and when we did, we were told we could come back the next day because that was the next appointment. Oh, Saturday afternoon at the Apple Store sounds like a dream come true.******  Oh, and they told us that they'd be happy to replace it for us. For almost $300 dollars. But we needed to come back the next day for someone to make that joyousness happen.

Valentino did the thing he did, which I can't understand or explain,******* and before I knew it, we were in front of a manager who told us we didn't need another appointment and they'd replace the phone at no cost to us. I do have to wait for it to be delivered to the store, because they didn't have any in stock. I'm okay with that, although I never realized how often I use the camera throughout the day until I couldn't.********

Two days later, new phone, with camera! And they said it would be 3-5 days!

Talk about amazeballs customer service, the day's awesomeness didn't end there! After Valentino's Tetris session, we headed to Broadway Cigars.  (Hi Bobby! Hi John! Hi JV!) Bam. We love going there. They treat us like family--although they haven't asked us to help them move or take them to the airport yet, so...almost like family. We'll tell you more about that in a second!! <--I'll even put a link in there, as soon as I write the post!! Done!

::types furiously::

PS:

Let's revisit this picture again for a second.
Some of this may be Christmas presents for someone who is not Valentino.
You'll have to wait and see what you get, mister. No calling dibs on anything.

 

*Big Ass Bowl of Soup

**We're talking about lettuce, people. Lettuce. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

***Answer: No one.

****Not really weeping. Just a spot of despair.

*****It will probably still sound ridiculous, but you will forgive it immediately. 

*****Said no one ever. 

******It's something you have to see to believe. And you can never copy it. My mom says he could charm a starving dog off a meat wagon. 

*******Isn't that always the way?