Sunday, May 31, 2015

Cigar Lounge Manners: Make someone’s day or: Random Acts of Awesome

We've all heard about random acts of kindness, but things seem to have taken a selfish turn over the past couple of years, thanks especially to Facebook and other social media outlets.

You see it a couple of times a day, someone proclaiming, "I just paid for the person behind me in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru line!" Subtext: Aren't I great? Or "I just left happy messages on all the bathroom mirrors at work--even in the men's room!" Subtext: Aren't I clever and nice?

If you're interested in performing a true random act of kindness, keep it to yourself. Your goal is to make someone's day better, not get kudos from your Facebook friends. A great place to spread the joy is the cigar lounge, where you're given hours of peace, friendship, and joy.* Here are some suggestions, in absolutely no order whatsoever:

  • When a friend purchases a cigar from the shop humidor, quietly tell the bartender/humidor manager to put it on your tab. Your pal won't know until he pays his bill.

  • If someone new comes into the lounge, introduce yourself and make him feel more comfortable. Remember that a good experience during the first visit usually means he'll come back. He may wind up being your new BFF!

  • Give someone a book you think they'll like.

  • Give the bartender a huge tip...just because. You don't have to do this all the time, but the kind gesture will make her day.

  • Learn people's names and use them.

  • Listen... and don't interrupt or share your own story. Most of us need to work out a problem by talking through it. Be that listener.

  • Give someone a compliment.

  • Introduce people you think would enjoy each other's company.

  • When sitting near an acquaintance, if the two of you are struggling to keep a conversation going, say, "Tell me about yourself." Generally, people like to talk about themselves--it's a topic in which they're very well-versed.

  • Smile.

  • Tell the lounge manager or owner about great service you received--whether help choosing a new cigar, excellent cocktail service, or pure kindness. Unfortunately, supervisors generally only hear about the bad or unfortunate incidents. This will be a great surprise to both of them.

  • Ask someone else's opinion about a cigar without saying "I know" at any time, even if you do know.

  • Offer to drive someone home.

There are twenty zillion other opportunities for making someone's day. I'd encourage you to share with us, but that goes against everything I said in the beginning.

So my challenge to you: Do something nice, a Random Act of Awesome, no matter how big or small, and keep it to yourself.

*If these aren't the regular by-products of your cigar lounge time, you should probably find a place more suited to your personality and needs.

A most welcoming event with the most gracious people

While we roamed around Pennsylvania, waiting for the CigarFest kick-off, we donned our fancy-pants clothes and headed to To' Makao Fine Cigars in Bethlehem, PA. I actually begged (and not in  a lady-like manner) for the Band of Merry Caballeros to agree to go to this super-great ticketed event.
Owner Franklin Pichardo is one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest people in the Universe. We met him in Miami this past October at Cigar Cellar, owned by SuperFriend Rhea Planes. (We were in town for the Havana Nights fundraiser,* organized by another of the universe's most awesome people, Berta Bravo.**)
On this pre-CigarFest night in April, though, former Opus X roller Franklin celebrated the visit of his long-time mentor and friend, Carlito Fuente.

Naturally, Will needed to be the center of attention,
even though it was Carlito's birthday.
When we first arrived, we received  some of Franklin's hand-rolled cigars, both gorgeous and delicious:
During the evening, Carlito told us about his first meeting with Franklin and how he had grown into the amazing man we saw before us.

Great picture by Valentino.

Franklin was in tears and speechless, as were we all.

Terrible picture by me. Sigh.

Mike, the Honorary Caballero (left),
Carlito, and Caballero #2 at the event.

Our hero and Carlito,
who is one of the most gracious men on the planet.
(Our hero's not to shabby himself.)

Fuente Fuente Opus X Love Affair***

A beautiful cigar, made by an extraordinary man and his company.
Of course a raffle was held.

Of course Valentino won the grand prize, a Fuente Fuente Opus 22  unfilled gift box, which Carlito then signed, and told him to select any ten cigars from the Fuente lines.

In case you didn't know, this limited box, when filled and sold, raises money for the Cigar Family Charitable Foundation, "a thoughtful cause dedicated to providing substantial humanitarian impact to communities in the Dominican Republic."

A very Fuente collection. The Opus box, a box of Opus X Love Affair,
and a variety of cigars, purchased at both Franklin's shop
and an earlier jaunt to Cigars International. 
(Photo by Valentino.)
And then photo by me of the same stuff.
If you happen to be anywhere near Bethlehem, PA, you MUST MUST MUST (MUST MUST) visit Franklin's shop. Tell him we sent you.

*This year's event, "A Fuente Family Affair" is on October 30. We're planning to be there. You should join us.

**Berta deserves her very own post, and will get it soon. Yeah, she's that great.

***The person who names the Fuente cigars should be sainted. Or knighted. Or something wonderful for the best cigar names ever.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Cigar Lounge Manners: Don't be a know-it-all

Actual cigar lounge discussion (overheard) between first-timer visitors:

Her: I've had ALL* the Drew Estate cigars and there isn't a bad one. I love every one of them.

Him: Really.

Her: Yep. All the ACIDs AND the Naturals are great.

Part of me wants to jump in and tell her those aren't all the Drew Estate cigars and then begin listing them from memory: What about Undercrown? Liga Privada? Tabak? And so on...

But I don't, because that would either make her defensive or angry, and neither are the desired effect of a cigar lounge conversation.

When you know everything about everything, people will stop believing you right quick. Either that, or they will get annoyed even more quickly. Or both.

Someone we know imagines himself privy to all information about a couple of subjects. He then inserts himself into all conversations about that topic--especially conversations far away, so he gets to yell his (usually incorrect) information. Some regulars leave the area** when he starts talking, because telling him to shut the F up wouldn't be right.

I don't think he even knows how annoying he has become. He should take the following quiz. Maybe you should too, just in case

How to tell if you're that guy:
  • Do you interject something into every conversation, even ones you're not part of?
  • When a particular topic comes about, do you start talking over other people?
  • Do you talk really fast about this topic, not giving others the opportunity to share their knowledge?
  • Is everyone in the world less knowledgeable than you?
  • Do you like to point out that other people are wrong?***
  • Do you say things like "What you should do..."?
  • Do people roll their eyes when you start talking?

  • Answer "No" to all and you need to take an honest look at yourself.
  • Answer "Yes" to one or two of these, and you're on the know-it-all path.
  • Answer "Yes" to more than two and you are "that guy."

Here's how to remedy the situation:


That's all you have to do. Listen to what others are saying and even if you have something to say, keep it in. Listen for them to ask your opinion or ask you a question.

And then there's one case of Don't Listen. If you're not part of the conversation, especially one not within normal speaking range, then don't say anything unless you're invited.

The other day at a cigar lounge, I overheard someone talking about the inspiration for Herman Melville's 1851 novel Moby Dick. His facts were incorrect. The 1820 sinking of the whaleship Essex inspired the book. How do I know? I previously researched whaling history in general and the Essex in particular. Did I correct him? Nope.

Why didn't I interject?

I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his friends.

Also, his incorrect statement wouldn't affect anyone's life--Oh! Unless someone overhears and then remembers while on Jeopardy! and loses Final Jeopardy because of this incident. That would be bad.

Anyway, my life didn't change and neither did his. I went back to eating my Ring Ding and he had another drink.

My new obsession.

Give it a shot--keep all your know-it-all knowledge in and see what happens. Report back, please. We're dying to know how it turns out!

*Emphasis hers.

**Area in the lounge, although sometimes it feels like leaving this area of town might be necessary.

***Even if they aren't.

*Emphasis hers.

Words of Wisdom #78

"[Cigars are] the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion."

Friday, May 29, 2015

That's what friends are for...inciting shenanigans

I just realized SuperFriend and La Flor Dominicana rep John Gallogly wants my head to explode. I suspect he will giggle like a schoolgirl when that happens.

Let me back up.  A couple of weeks ago, I caught up with John at Habanos and he was being his usual generous self, sharing his wares with the people. He handed me a cigar labeled only with LFD N.A.S. and said, "I want this to be the first cigar you smoke."

I'm an innocent babe in the woods--or babe with the words, haha--and trusting beyond belief. But I didn't like that extra sparkle in his eyes. So I did what any writer-girl would do. I researched.


That stands for Nasty Ass Shit.

Today at the Broadway Cigars LFD event, as John made the rounds, he set this in front of me:

You son of a...
Yeah. Another (5 1/2 x 42, give or take) N.A.S.

Using my feminine wiles, I convinced Valentino he should smoke it.

Had John not been the devil who gave it to me, I never would have thought this cheroot (smaller, open perfecto rolled without molds and open on both sides) an LFD, as it lacks the perfect body of a traditional LFD cigar. In fact, Cigar Coop said it "easily looks like a cigar that could be smoked in a spaghetti western."

The other difference is the tobacco:  Dominican pelo de oro ligero, a strand of tobacco outlawed in Cuba--and if something's outlawed in Cuba, you know it's worth checking out. This outlaw, however, is in the cigar doghouse because it likes whipping up some blue mold, just for fun.

And this baby is allll ligero--wrapper and filler. What about the binder? you ask. Ain't got one, I answer.
So Valentino lit the N.A.S. It didn't make his head explode, but it did punch him in the face with what Cigar Coop called "a spice bomb."
He set it down for a bit, with the promise to get back to it, right after he cooled down his palate with the LFD L-Granu, which the company says, "This 64 x 6 Ligero was kicked up a notch from the standard blend of Dominican filler & binder and also features a higher priming Ecuadorian Sumatra wrapper. We guarantee the Ligero smoking experience you’ve come to know & love in this new, much larger format!"
Valentino seems much more at peace with this monster than he did with the little bastard, although he keeps giving it the stink-eye, accompanied by the threat to relight soon...

I just told him some reviewers have reported a sweetness in the N.A.S. After all these years, I know when he doesn't believe me--and this is one of those times.

Oh, he'll find out soon enough. He won't abandon a cigar, especially an LFD. Your time is coming, little buddy. Very very soon.

Cigar Lounge Manners: Don't beg

Let's start with this:

There's a difference between asking and begging.

What you think you look like...

Ask: Request (someone) to do or give something.
"May I borrow your lighter?"
"Would you mind watching my stuff while I run up the street to get Penny some ice cream?"

What you actually look like...

Beg: In the cigar world, think of it as passive-aggressive asking, also known as dry begging
"I've never had an Opus X...I heard they're good..."
"Oh, yeah, my buddy said those CAO Amazon Basins are great but really hard to find. You're lucky to have some."

You may think you're being subtle, but everyone within hearing distance (and all the friends they're texting) knows exactly what you're doing. You want that person to give you what they have, with no offer of anything in return.

You're also putting the other person in a really bad position. He's going to feel obligated to fulfill your unsubtle request and will probably weep inside as he hands that precious stick over. He'll probably also avoid you for the next forever, or as long--and often--as possible.

If you are really dying to try the cigar he has, ask where he got them. That's all. Maybe try, "I've been on a hunt for those. Where did you track them down?" 

If he offers you one, say "No, thank you. I know how precious they are. But I will track check them out at [name of shop]. I really appreciate the offer, though."

By the way, this dry begging also exists in Facebook groups, cigar groups especially.  Trust me, those internet cigar superstars can spot begging more quickly than a mere cigar lounge mortal, so don't even try. Please. For the sake of all cigar smokers everywhere, just don't. Okay?


Thursday, May 28, 2015

Cigar Lounge Manners: Don’t interrupt

Valentino and I sat head-to-head, leaning over the iPad, deciding on a logo for our in-progress website.* I'll admit our air space leaned toward tense rather than playful, for whatever reason.

Valentino! Valentino! I heard off in the distance but ignored the voice because of reasons. Either he didn't hear or also ignored the guy. But he didn't answer. So the guy, using his cigar as an introduction to his interruption, then wedged himself between us. I had to lean back and away to avoid sharing intimate space and/or being burned by the lancero.

No "Excuse me" or "Do you have a second?"


When my boy was younger, I only needed to give him the look and he stopped in his tracks, any thought of interrupting gone.**

I tried that look on this guy and...nothing. He just puffed away, chatting about...nothing. Nothing!

I did a mental facepalm, a mental palm to his face, and accepted that social cues weren't going to work.

The joy of the cigar lounge--one of many--is that it isn't a regular bar, where folks drink to get drunk and music is set to kick ass at all times. Generally, the majority of cigar lounge patrons aren't drinking and the music is set low so people can relax or have a quiet conversation, or none at all. The cigar lounge is a clubhouse of friends with exceptional manners, thanks to exceptional moms.

Those moms would not be happy with this guy, king of the interrupters.***


I guess I could have said something snarky; I certainly thought some most excellent comments. But, of course, I'd never say anything rude; my mom would somehow know and I'd get into so much silent trouble. After all, I learned the look from her.

*You're going to LOVE it!

**My mom always said not to bother her unless someone was bleeding or something was on fire.

***He should get a crown!!

Fore! Eight, actually, in a lovely box. Plus two more to smoke!

So there we were, sitting at the cigar lounge when someone mentioned that Davidoff Cigars had put out a special edition in honor of the Masters.*
"The new Davidoff Golf Limited Masters Edition has been created by Davidoff Masterblenders with moments of shared golf pleasures in mind." [source] It's also like they had my very own golfer in mind.

Put "Limited Edition" on anything and Valentino will want it--and of course I'll buy it for him--or at least I'll want it very badly until I get distracted by something else. Like air. He, however, will not forget.
Oh Davidoff, you wily buggers.
You had me at Limited Edition.
Want to know what's in the white piano lacquer box?
Two different formats, which have been crafted with eight-year-old typical Dominican filler tobaccos: Piloto Volado, San Vicente Visus, Piloto Visus Hybrid and Corojo/Olor Seco. [source]

Wrapper:         Ecuador Connecticut
Binder:            Dominican Criollo
Filler:               Piloto Volado, San Vicente Visus, Piloto Visus
Hybrid:            Corojo/Olor Seco
Aroma:            Rich
Format:           Toro (54 x 6)
Format:           Robusto (52 x 5)
According to the Davidoff website, "The beautifully crafted cigar box, finished in a white piano lacquer, opens like a book. It boasts 4 toros and 4 robustos.

"Moreover, in order to highlight this very special Davidoff Golf Limited Masters Edition, all toros and three out of the four robustos feature an exclusive 'Golf' second ring.

"The second ring in gold on the last robusto serves to reward and honor the winner."

Because I've met my guy,*** I knew no one would ever actually smoke the ones in the box (under the threat of death). So I purchased two of the Course sticks, one for him and one for Caballero #2. The minute Valentino lit up that toro, he scowled at me for giving the other one away.
I shrugged.** And then I went online and bought more.
Speaking of golf, we were at a cigar dinner sponsored by a local Masonic chapter and of course there was a raffle and of course we won...
Most awesome (blurry) photo by moi.
This is the Masters winner, Jordan Spieth
In a perfect world,
he will sign both this and the Davidoff box.
We should invite him for dinner!
He doesn't even need to bring a Sharpie!
Anyway, these Davidoff babies aren't as rare (yet) as I expected, with 7,500 boxes created, so a quick internet search could set you up right quick, but you shouldn't tarry, lest you lose out. Then you will have the sad.
Don't have the sad.
*That's golf, in case you didn't know.
**Really, what more could I do?


Words of Wisdom #77


"A fine cigar is like a fine woman. They come in all shapes and sizes.
Treat them tenderly and lovingly.
Caress their skin, admire their beauty, fondle them with reverence.
Bring them slowly to your lips, enjoy their flavor, their aroma.
Contemplate their essence, their dependability, and forgive them their weaknesses - if there be any.
Revel in the rituals, their simplicity and their enduring meanings.
Do these things, my son, and the blessings of life shall always be upon you."
-Prince Sined Yar Maharg
NOTE: I've been holding on to this quotation for ages. While I love it (and others by the same man), I was unwilling to share until I found out who Prince Sined Yar Maharg actually was. After what feels like days of searching (off and on, not continuous days), I've given up. The only references I can find say "Prince Sined Yar Maharg of famed Xanadu."
All his quotations are too modern for him to be from Xanadu (Shangdu), China, the summer capital of Kublai Khan's Yuan empire.
Perhaps from Coleridge's poem about Xanadu? Nope.
The bright feature on the surface of Saturn's moon Titan? Hope not.
Any of the many homes and malls named Xanadu? ::shakes head::
The Olivia Newton John movie? Oh god I hope not.
The video game? I wouldn't know, but probably not.
A few famous Mahargs lurk on the internet, most notably Billy Marharg, who was involved in the 1919 Chicago Black Sox Scandal.
But did you know Sined Yar Maharg spelled backwards is Denis Ray Graham? Oh jeez. I quit. Enjoy the quotation.

Cigar Lounge Manners: Use your inside voice when inside

Why are you yelling?


You know we can hear you, right? You're not trying to get our attention across the bleacher section of Fenway Park. You are less than a foot from me in a cigar lounge with jazz playing lightly in the background and the ballgame on mute. The person you're yelling at (through my brain) is two feet away, leaning in and staring right at you.

Yes, we get you're excited about whatever you're saying. (The actual words are distorted and nonsensical because they're So. Effing. Loud.)

You haven't been here long enough to be the in-house loud, obnoxious drunk (yet).



Are you dying for attention? That's probably not the way to get it. Actually, you're getting attention--just not the right attention.

I reach into my bag and retrieve three Advil. You don't get the hint, but I guess guys like you don't live in a world of subtlety.

I lean way back. Nothing changes.

I get up and move away, needing a break. And you lean even closer to that poor soul, while maintaining the same decibel level. I should rescue him. He is my beloved, after all.

Maybe I'll wait for the Advil to take effect first, so I don't stab you in the voice box with a cocktail straw. Not that anyone would blame me...

In fact, I'd probably hear the roar of the crowd, as if David Ortiz just hit a grand slam.


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Where we will be: LFD (I like the way that rhymes)

This Friday, May 29 at 6:00p.m.,* we'll be heading over to hang with our pals at Broadway Cigars in Providence, RI for a La Flor Dominicana (LFD) shindig.

LFD Guru John Gallogly will certainly have some awesome deals and swag...because he always does! (As I write this, I am wearing my LFD t-shirt from another event where we accidentally purchased a bunch of cigars. By ACCIDENT!) Here's a recap from the last LFD at Broadway.

Also, he is a master of the selfie--or selfie and Penny:

One of the few pics you'll ever see of me on here.

And the folks at Broadway are kings in the land of raffles, so make sure you stick around for that as well!

AND! Rumor has it, there will be some delicious eats from Roma on Federal Hill. (But probably no dessert. There's never any dessert at cigar events, never mind delicious dessert. Boys are dumb.**)

So, we can expect to see you there?

Okay, fine. Yes, Will will be there as well. I just searched for a photo of John and the little owl...and can't find one. That must be remedied quickly! In the meantime, please enjoy this pic of John with Valentino!

*Here's where Valentino and I continuously battle: I say this is a suggestion; he hates hates hates being late for anything. If we're ever late, assume it's my fault; I probably got distracted by a piece of glitter. Or hated my hair.

**Which is why I usually have Ring Dings or other delicious snacks in my bag. If you ask nicely...

Cigar Lounge Manners: Clean up after yourself

Whether you're sitting at the bar, standing at the bar, or settled into a cozy chair, guaranteed there's an ashtray nearby. Use it.

If by some chance your ash abandons ship prematurely, swoop the runaways into a nearby ashtray. This will take you fifteen seconds at the most.

This is an ashtray. Look how nicely it holds cigars.
It is equally talented at holding the cigar's ashes.

We understand that maybe you didn't realize. If that's the case, no harm, no foul.

However, spread your ashes around like rice (or birdseed) at a wedding and you're going to get a reputation--and not a good one. Yes, you will become, "That guy."

If you're okay with this moniker and all that accompanies it, you'd damn well better tip the bartender well for cleaning up after you. If you don't overtip, as you should, then your service is going to get worse and worse as the visits pass. Plus, no one will talk to you. It's their house you're messing up.

Cigar lounge regulars are like a family. They care about each other and take care of each other. You wouldn't go into someone's house and start making a mess, so don't do it at the cigar lounge either.

Speaking of ashtrays, look over there to the right (if you're on a computer; it doesn't show up on a mobile device).. You can win one. Just sign up for our newsletter/blog updates!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Where we will (may) be: Smokey Pilgrim Cigar Festival

But even if we can't get there, you should definitely go to the Smokey Pilgrim event!

(We're still trying to figure out how to be in two places at once.)

On Saturday, June 13, 2015 from 3:00-8:00 (p.m., obviously), in good old Plymouth, MA,* an awesome group of folks is putting on quite the cigar herfing shindig.

The whole event is being sponsored by our SuperFriend John Brandt at Old Firehouse Smoke Shop. (Hi John!) Remember him and his cool pup Wyatt?

Each attendee will receive:
  • 8 Premium Cigars--keep reading for the cigar sponsors!
  • Official Smokey Pilgrim t-shirt!
  • 2 drinks!
  • Dinner!
So you're definitely getting waaay more than the $80 ticket price! Waaaay more! Oh, and you can purchase tickets here!

Those cigar sponsors? How's this for a lineup:
Plus! This event, while super fun, is a fundraiser at heart, raising money for Cigars for Warriors and the Young America Club.**

*Yes, Plimoth, where the Pilgrims landed. Unless they didn't land there, which Nathanial Philbrick discusses in his awesomely cool book Mayflower.***

**The Young America Club is a non-profit community based organization located in Plymouth Massachusetts. Founded in 1910 by Portuguese-Americans, the club has been providing local men with a place to socialize and network with friends and family within the community.

***As an aside, because you know I love asides, my Mayflower-travelling ancestor is Richard Warren, a London Merchant Adventurer, which sounds incredibly fun.
He'd fit right in today with that beard!

When the cat is away...the mouse will buy him presents.

When Valentino is away, I miss him. So I buy him things.

One time, I got him this:
The Exterminator Deer Call
Another time, I got him this:

I got him other stuff too, but this was most notable.

This past trip, while he fished in Kentucky with Caballero #2, I bought him this:

A rare find! (I'm a great cigar shopper!)
Actually, this box of Double Ligero and I found each other serendipitously. There I was, waiting for my students to finish a writing assignment so I flipped through Facebook. There, on one of the many groups of which I am a member, was the sale of these La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Oscuro Naturals from 2008.

Usually when I see cool things like this, the deadline is a million years away and I forget about it.* Or I've just missed the deadline by five minutes. (Luckily, the forgetfulness softens the blow of disappointment.)

This time, however, while Valentino sent me pictures of the fish he'd caught, I figured other guys on the Facebook group would swoop in and swipe these babies. Then I resumed teaching my class.

Many, many fish.
Too many fish, you could say.
That's what I would say.
That's what I DID say.

Lo and behold, seems while I was shaping the minds of America's youth, I was simultaneously winning the auction by Sam of Fine Ash Cigars.** Unfortunately, I can't keep a secret, so I told him as soon as I won and paid.***

And he said, "I know. I saw that you won on Facebook. I assumed they're for me."

Damn, damn, McDammit. Stupid internet.

As an aside, you should definitely check out Fine Ash, located in Avondale, AZ because 1. Sam's fantastic, 2. Their customer service is top-notch, and 3.You can get the coolest things there, like this:

We have many boxes.
(They are sold out now.
But they have many, many
 other limited releases!)
Or this, which came two days later:


After the 2008 batch, these cigars weren't released until 2013. Of course I didn't know this when I bought them, although now that I know, I seem quite prescient.

When Valentino FINALLY came home, and FINALLY had time to smoke one, he was hap- hap- happy! And then sad sad sad because of the box of ten, having given one to Caballero #2, meant he only had EIGHT left. He wept openly--and who can blame him?

Proof that one was sacrificed.

Of course I felt the need to research during the writing process and found from, "Like the other uniquely shaped La Flor Dominicana offerings, it requires a specially skilled roller to create such a long cigar that is consistent and burns without problems. [Litto] Gomez compares it to the Salomones, Mysterios**** and Diademas as far as the difficulty level" [source].

According to Atlantic Cigars, "Litto Gomez, deciding to push the envelope, doubled the amount of ligero found in many cigar blends, including his own LFD Ligero, in order to create the La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero. These cigars are packed with the finest ligero tobaccos from Gomez's La Canela farm in the Dominican Republic and wrapped in either a sun-grown Ecuadorian Natural or a dark Ecuadorian Maduro wrapper leaf. La Flor Dominicana's Double Ligero continues to be one of the most popular choices for cigar smokers who enjoy full-bodied smokes full of rich earth and spicy flavors."
Also during the course of researching, I may or may not have found another box of 2008 and I may or may not have already purchased those 9 x 47 cigars. And he wasn't even away hunting or fishing or anything! Dammit. I should save them for his next trip.

Except I already told him.


*Because if you've learned nothing else about me, you've learned I have a short attention span.

**And people say I can't multitask...


****A personal favorite, by the way.

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