T minus 6 days until my next iROBUSTO column or: Caution--many newly-created words ahead!

The first part of that title is me looking at my day-late show-offiness optimistically.

Remember how I highlighted Cigarnival cool activities?* That got me thinking about giant herfs** and the benefits of attending one (or more).

With every Facebook post proclaiming "Everything is Awesome,"*** I had more of the sad for missing this year's Cigarnival.

The other day, we took Caballero #2's HerfMobile to New Hampshire (from Massachusetts, so an hour and a half or so jaunt) and as he drove, smoking some of the event's loot, I wondered what I actually missed, so I started making a list in my head. (I like to make lists a lot. Sometimes I even look at them again.) Also in attendance for the ride: Our pal Mike, who heretofore shall be known as Caballero #3. When we see him this weekend, he shall be properly ordained, so let's keep it between us until after the 4th, okay?

L to R: Newly-anointed Caballero #3,
Carlito Fuente, and Caballero #2

And because fair is fair, here's one of
our hero with Carlito

Full disclosure: I didn't attend the Famous Smoke megaherf because Valentino played in a golf tournament that weekend. I knew I'd never keep up with Caballero #2; he is a world-class socializer and master cigar passer-outterer and CRA**** signer-upperer, so he'd be busy doing those things. I require a more, um, hands-on handler, because given the choice between sitting in a corner reading and gladhanding...well, let's just say I always have a book with me. No need to tell me; I already know: I am a world-class nerd.

So this week's column for iROBUSTO is 5 Things about why you should attend a big-ass herf. (Or something along that line.) You should check it out! In the meantime, I have to go think of something incredibly clever for next week... Damn, the Thursdays come around quickly, don't they? Until then, I leave you with this:

*One of my favorite words, thanks mostly to this:

[source]

**Not the ones that roam the land, seeking the souls of people who say they're allergic to foods but aren't, just to hop on the bandwagon. What? That's not an alternate definition of herf?? I could have sworn that was a thing. Can we make it one? Even if it's as elusive as a unicorn, just knowing it's out there somewhere thrills me.

***


****Cigar Rights of America. If you aren't a member, you should become one, stat. (I just double-checked my member status before I wrote that. Didn't want to be a hypocrite. All paid up!)

Where we will be: Hint--Alec Bradley is involved*

Q: What’s black and white and…a smokin’ good time (and not just because we'll be there)?

A: The Alec Bradley Black and White event at Habanos Cigar Lounge on Thursday, June 18, from 6:00-11:00 p.m.

We’re going to make this as clear as possible—no gray areas!

Join Alec Bradley’s New England Regional Territory Manager and our SuperFriend Drinnan Thornton at Habanos Cigar Lounge as he showcases some of the company’s best cigars.

This is also an opportunity to find the perfect Alec Bradley smoke for you. We're already in love with the Black Market, Nica Puro, and Coyol, among others, so definitely try those. Oh jeez. You're going to need to get there super early in order to try all these cigars. Or...I guess you could purchase some also... That would work! Or both! Yes! Try AND buy! That's for sure what we'll be doing!

As an aside, we finally came across the Coyol petit lancero the other day and may or may not have purchased a few. That skinny mofo is ass-kicking awesome, made with a Honduran wrapper, and the binder and filler coming from Nicaragua and Honduras, albeit from a variety of regions. When I went to get the cigar for photoshoot time, wherein I hope the result's not too blurry, this little bastard was making off with it.

Last AB petit lancero in the humidor, little buddy.
Not a chance you're leaving the humidified box with it.
Not. A. Chance.

The petit lancero's small ring size brings smoke's focus to the binder rather than the filler. So even though you're smoking an already-favorite, the experience will be much different--and magically delicious. If that size isn't available at the Habanos event, be sure to ask Drinnan where to lay your mitts (or wings) on some, because as much as we like you, we're not giving you ours.

Drinnan's fabulous and he'll help match what you like to an Alec Bradley product similar in strength and blend. Or even better, try something completely different than you’re used to—it could become your new favorite!

At the Habanos event on the 18th, we're going to get 40% off all Alec Bradley box purchases! Know what? We'll put in a good word for you and let you have the discount as well! (We know a guy who can help you out.)

During the event, we're to dress in black and white (or black or white would work too, I guess) and we've earned a raffle ticket! Just for getting dressed! Talk about incentive! We're definitely going to get dressed for this shin-dig! Guaranteed, Valentino will be decked out in black and white. I may or may not--depends on whether I feel like conforming. Although a raffle ticket...

Photo by me.
I know! Shocking! It's pretty good!

What’s the raffle for? Apparently, tons and tons of prizes! (Tons as figured by an English major, not a metric ton.) At this nanosecond, we have no idea what the prizes could be, although we suspect Valentino will be a favorite to win. Yes, he's one of those guys, who wins tons and tons of stuff! Actual tons of stuff, as calculated by people who know how to do math.)

[source]

In case you didn't know, the makers of the much-loved Black Market cigar (get it?), Alec Bradley is a world-class boutique producer synonymous with quality and accessibility and focused on one goal: to give the cigar smoker an unforgettable experience. We guarantee you’ll long-remember the joy the Alec Bradley cigars bring you--especially if you smoke them with us, as we are completely fab!

Got it? Because from here, it’s as clear as black and white.

One of my all-time fave pics:
(L to R) Drinnan, Caballero #2, our hero

Since you have your calendar out, and you're probably looking for other opportunities to spend with us, make a note of these upcoming Habanos events. (We'll let you know about other events too, as soon as our schedule is solidified.):


July 9: My Father Cigars

  July 23: Oliva dinner 

 August 6: Miami Cigar Company



*But neither Alec nor Bradley. Just the cigar company. You know Alec and Bradley are the names of Alec Bradley company owner Alan Rubin's boys, right? Now you know!

Still timely, thanks to the deflated balls fiasco, which keeps the SuperBowl in the news six months later

You know how I'm always a little behind because I get distracted by air and Hostess snack cakes? Someone cranked the procrastination up to 11 for this one!

We're not here to talk about the SuperBowl, which bandied on in the background as I started this blog post. Hahaha.*  I'd say no one even remembers what happened during the game (except maybe a couple of commercials), but yeah. This year's. We all know how it ended, with an entire Patriots Nation up-in-arms and a slew of giddy comedians imagining all the "ball" jokes they'd get to make.

Most memorable part of this year's Big Game for us? This La Flor Dominicana collection of beauties:

Wait for it...

And Boom! as our favorite LFDer and SuperFriend likes to say.
(Hi John!)

Whaaa? I KNOW!

Naturally, it all starts with Facebook, as so many things do. A post popped up, revealing these 5 3/4 x 60  babies, only available in Arizona. I started looking up flights and participating shops. 

 

But damn if Caballero #2 isn't the fastest cigar purchaser in the west. East, actually. While I fiddled around trying to find a flight not bogged down by the 76 feet of snow accumulated thus far, he got on the phone and called Arizona.** A few moments later, he sent me a message: He'd purchased a box for our hero.***

 

Of course upon their quick pre-game arrival, Valentino didn't want to open them and ruin the full box of ten.****  "Then I will only have nine," he whimpered. But we did open them, thanks to me making promises I might not be able to fulfill. He, sadly yet happily, set one aflame.

 

The other LFD-Jon in our lives, VP of Sales Jon Carney, said, in an interview with halfwheel.com, "[T]he cigar will be an entirely new blend that uses an Ecuadorian Habano wrapper, Nicaraguan binder and Dominican filler" and is based on an idea from Baxter’s Cigars in Phoenix.

 

The caballeros. Caballeri?

“The cigar is a celebration of football,” Carney said. I say it's a celebration of awesomeness, just like the entire stable of LFD cigars.

 

About the cigar: "This is fucking good."
(The photograph, not so much.)

"Well?" I asked, fingers poised over the laptop, as if I would actually write a timely blogpost and not be lured away by the delicious foods passed around Habanos as part of the big (game) event.

After declaring the cigar a winner, with no accusations later about deflated balls, those two gazed lovingly at the damn cigars with every puff.***** (You can read a full review by not me here.)

About that empty promise I made? Naturally, he remembered. I hit the internet again, beginning a new quest for things to light on fire.****** Found 'em at Fine Ash Cigars, owned by my from-that-point-on best friend Sam Lopez and his lovely bride Rosie.

Bought a box.

Felt content.

He smoked a couple more.

Oh you gorgeous thing.

 

And then I panicked. With four left from that original box, they'd soon be gone and, as I have not only met Valentino but know him better than anyone on the planet, he'd never open and smoke the backup box.

 

I crossed my fingers, began an oft-used mantra that generally accompanies cigar searches, "Please still have some. Please still have some," uncrossed my fingers so I could type, and travelled back to Sam's site.

 

And then there were two--one for my main caballero and one for the humidor.

 

As I type this in June, I worry about that other box getting low. ::types "LFD football edition" into search engine::

 

To again quote our pal, Boom! Found them! Of course I just told you my secret to finding hard-to-find cigars. Dummy.

 

I'll race you there--because the alternative, rewriting a portion of this blog post, would mean you wouldn't see it until the next SuperBowl.

 

Just hope that shiny Ring Ding package over there slows me down.

 

Photo from LFD, which explains is loveliness.

 

 

  

 

*Self-imposed goals/targets are stupid. So are deadlines.

 

**Not the whole state.

 

***Keeping track of the gifts these two give each other is becoming a full-time job. (Applications now being accepted.)

 

****As you may recall, or maybe not because I forgot to tell you, when I purchase cigars (sticks or boxes), I generally get one for each Caballero and one for the humidor.

 

*****Damn you, Litto Gomez (kidding! Love you!), for making that happen. Those looks are generally reserved for me!

 

******I can't help it, since my boy grew up in the 90s, but every time someone mentions football, my brain sees and hears this:

A million life bonus points if you know the show.
[source]

A most welcoming event with the most gracious people

While we roamed around Pennsylvania, waiting for the CigarFest kick-off, we donned our fancy-pants clothes and headed to To' Makao Fine Cigars in Bethlehem, PA. I actually begged (and not in  a lady-like manner) for the Band of Merry Caballeros to agree to go to this super-great ticketed event.

 

Owner Franklin Pichardo is one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest people in the Universe. We met him in Miami this past October at Cigar Cellar, owned by SuperFriend Rhea Planes. (We were in town for the Havana Nights fundraiser,* organized by another of the universe's most awesome people, Berta Bravo.**)

 

On this pre-CigarFest night in April, though, former Opus X roller Franklin celebrated the visit of his long-time mentor and friend, Carlito Fuente.



Naturally, Will needed to be the center of attention,
even though it was Carlito's birthday.

 

When we first arrived, we received  some of Franklin's hand-rolled cigars, both gorgeous and delicious:

 

 

 

During the evening, Carlito told us about his first meeting with Franklin and how he had grown into the amazing man we saw before us.

 



Great picture by Valentino.

Franklin was in tears and speechless, as were we all.





Terrible picture by me. Sigh.



Mike, the Honorary Caballero (left),
Carlito, and Caballero #2 at the event.

Our hero and Carlito,
who is one of the most gracious men on the planet.
(Our hero's not to shabby himself.)

Fuente Fuente Opus X Love Affair***



A beautiful cigar, made by an extraordinary man and his company.

Of course a raffle was held.

Of course Valentino won the grand prize, a Fuente Fuente Opus 22  unfilled gift box, which Carlito then signed, and told him to select any ten cigars from the Fuente lines.

In case you didn't know, this limited box, when filled and sold, raises money for the Cigar Family Charitable Foundation, "a thoughtful cause dedicated to providing substantial humanitarian impact to communities in the Dominican Republic."



A very Fuente collection. The Opus box, a box of Opus X Love Affair,
and a variety of cigars, purchased at both Franklin's shop
and an earlier jaunt to Cigars International. 
(Photo by Valentino.)

And then photo by me of the same stuff.
Sigh.

If you happen to be anywhere near Bethlehem, PA, you MUST MUST MUST (MUST MUST) visit Franklin's shop. Tell him we sent you.

*This year's event, "A Fuente Family Affair" is on October 30. We're planning to be there. You should join us.

**Berta deserves her very own post, and will get it soon. Yeah, she's that great.

***The person who names the Fuente cigars should be sainted. Or knighted. Or something wonderful for the best cigar names ever.





When the cat is away...the mouse will buy him presents.

When Valentino is away, I miss him. So I buy him things.

One time, I got him this:

The Exterminator Deer Call

Another time, I got him this:

I got him other stuff too, but this was most notable.

This past trip, while he fished in Kentucky with Caballero #2, I bought him this:

A rare find! (I'm a great cigar shopper!)

Actually, this box of Double Ligero and I found each other serendipitously. There I was, waiting for my students to finish a writing assignment so I flipped through Facebook. There, on one of the many groups of which I am a member, was the sale of these La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Oscuro Naturals from 2008.

Usually when I see cool things like this, the deadline is a million years away and I forget about it.* Or I've just missed the deadline by five minutes. (Luckily, the forgetfulness softens the blow of disappointment.)

This time, however, while Valentino sent me pictures of the fish he'd caught, I figured other guys on the Facebook group would swoop in and swipe these babies. Then I resumed teaching my class.

Many, many fish.
Too many fish, you could say.
That's what I would say.
That's what I DID say.

Lo and behold, seems while I was shaping the minds of America's youth, I was simultaneously winning the auction by Sam of Fine Ash Cigars.** Unfortunately, I can't keep a secret, so I told him as soon as I won and paid.***

And he said, "I know. I saw that you won on Facebook. I assumed they're for me."

Damn, damn, McDammit. Stupid internet.

As an aside, you should definitely check out Fine Ash, located in Avondale, AZ because 1. Sam's fantastic, 2. Their customer service is top-notch, and 3.You can get the coolest things there, like this:


We have many boxes.
(They are sold out now.
But they have many, many
 other limited releases!)

Or this, which came two days later:


Beauuuuuteeeful.

After the 2008 batch, these cigars weren't released until 2013. Of course I didn't know this when I bought them, although now that I know, I seem quite prescient.

When Valentino FINALLY came home, and FINALLY had time to smoke one, he was hap- hap- happy! And then sad sad sad because of the box of ten, having given one to Caballero #2, meant he only had EIGHT left. He wept openly--and who can blame him?

Proof that one was sacrificed.
::weeping::

Of course I felt the need to research during the writing process and found from Halfwheel.com, "Like the other uniquely shaped La Flor Dominicana offerings, it requires a specially skilled roller to create such a long cigar that is consistent and burns without problems. [Litto] Gomez compares it to the Salomones, Mysterios**** and Diademas as far as the difficulty level" [source].

According to Atlantic Cigars, "Litto Gomez, deciding to push the envelope, doubled the amount of ligero found in many cigar blends, including his own LFD Ligero, in order to create the La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero. These cigars are packed with the finest ligero tobaccos from Gomez's La Canela farm in the Dominican Republic and wrapped in either a sun-grown Ecuadorian Natural or a dark Ecuadorian Maduro wrapper leaf. La Flor Dominicana's Double Ligero continues to be one of the most popular choices for cigar smokers who enjoy full-bodied smokes full of rich earth and spicy flavors."
Also during the course of researching, I may or may not have found another box of 2008 and I may or may not have already purchased those 9 x 47 cigars. And he wasn't even away hunting or fishing or anything! Dammit. I should save them for his next trip.

Except I already told him.

::headbar::


*Because if you've learned nothing else about me, you've learned I have a short attention span.

**And people say I can't multitask...

***Idiot.

****A personal favorite, by the way.

June's Cigar of the Month: A La Aroma de Cuba and Ashton Cigars Giveaway!!

First, congratulations to Jason W, Garron F, and Timothy W for winning the May hoopla!  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~      

The other day, which actually was the other day and not three or ten months ago like usual... This is A LIE. I started this blog post a month ago.

Dammit. Lost control of the sentence.

 

Anyway, while Valentino travelled throughout the wilds of Tennessee, catching fish and smoking cigars, he left me with one task: Go to the Ashton event at Habanos in Pawtucket, RI and ask our pal Jon Murphy to pony up some La Aroma de Cuba EEs (Edicion Especial). (I would pay, of course, and Valentino had asked him to bring them, but I like the way that sounds--like I'm a badass.*)

 

 

 Attending the event meant I received a La Aroma de Cuba Mi Amor and Mi Amor Reserva--a gift for gracing them with my presence! (Okay, maybe everyone else got them too. ::sulks::) Sitting amongst my cigar-smokin' pals, I second-hand sampled these beauties in all their glorious glory. If you haven't tried them, you totally should.  If you have, you should get more.

Here are the deets about these beauties (the cigars, not the pesky owl):

La Aroma de Cuba Mi Amor:
Strength: Medium to Full
Wrapper: San Andreas Maduro
Binder: Nicaragua
Filler: Nicaragua
Tasting Notes: Crisp spices, rich cocoa, creamy almonds, and sweet espresso

La Aroma de Cuba Mi Amor Reserva:
Strength: Full
Wrapper: San Andreas Oscuro
Binder: Nicaragua
Filler: Nicaragua
Tasting notes: Peppery caramel, hickory, dark chocolate, and succulent spices

As an aside, you have GOT to know
which La Aroma de Cuba is my favorite.
See that? The name? Right there? Yeah...

 

From the Ashton website: "An old Cuban brand from the late 1800s, La Aroma de Cuba was abandoned and off the market for more than 100 years. In 2002, courtesy of Ashton, La Aroma de Cuba is reborn into the modern era of cigars. The original artwork was recovered and salvaged to preserve the brand's rich history and vintage Cuban motif."

 

Exactly this.

 

Now if you've ever met us in person, you know that I'm the Radar O'Reilly of this partnership and he is Colonel Blake.  Or Colonel Potter, if you prefer those seasons of M*A*S*H. There's a reason he's the face of the blog. His social abilities know no bounds. At events, while I sit behind the laptop, pounding out whatever feels like spilling from my mind at that moment, I thrust Will into his hand and say "Picture!" Or if I'm in dire need of details or other bits of info, I say, "Go ask [whoever] about [whatever]."  And he totally does. He's quite awesome. I am the most socially awkward person to ever roam the earth. We're a great team.

 

But! While he was off fishing with Caballero #2, I actually sauntered into the Ashton event on my own.** I coaxed Will*** to take a couple of pictures with Jon Murphy. I picked up T's EEs. And...

 

Will and Jon

  

ANYWAY! This was the point of the whole story:

 

I asked Jon if Ashton would be willing to sponsor this month's giveaway. Yes! I asked all by myself!****

 

And he said yes.  And then shared this loot with me--and by association, with one of you! (But you'll have to wait until May 25th-ish. Make that JUNE 25th because someone has a deadline issue. So...)

 

The minimum loot:*****

 

 

 

 

Of course we have some hoops for you to jump through. Yeah, we make you work for it. And by work, we mean clicking some keys. We swear you won't even muster up a sweat. SO! Look for the Rafflecopter entry thingamabob below and cross your fingers!
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

And in the meantime, go get some of these babies. Let us know what you think about these La Aroma de Cuba cigars in the comments for a chance to win a super extra prize.  Yes, you must be specific. (I am a writing professor, after all.) What's that? You want to know what this extra prize is?

 

Me too. Stay tuned.

 

*Anyone who has ever met me will tell you I am about as far away from being a badass as a person can be, while still living on planet earth. Unless you bother someone I love--then all bets are off, and I'm thisclose to getting a tattoo that says "badass."  Temporary tattoo, of course.

 

**I'm making this sound like it was a tragic, horrible undertaking. It wasn't. But I'm going for the drama.

 

***By way of purchasing shots of Patron...little bastard.

 

****Only took close to 50 years. Shut up, you.

 

*****You know by now how we roll, always adding extra stuff...