The first part of that title is me looking at my day-late show-offiness optimistically.
Remember how I highlighted Cigarnival cool activities?* That got me thinking about giant herfs** and the benefits of attending one (or more).
With every Facebook post proclaiming "Everything is Awesome,"*** I had more of the sad for missing this year's Cigarnival.
The other day, we took Caballero #2's HerfMobile to New Hampshire (from Massachusetts, so an hour and a half or so jaunt) and as he drove, smoking some of the event's loot, I wondered what I actually missed, so I started making a list in my head. (I like to make lists a lot. Sometimes I even look at them again.) Also in attendance for the ride: Our pal Mike, who heretofore shall be known as Caballero #3. When we see him this weekend, he shall be properly ordained, so let's keep it between us until after the 4th, okay?
L to R: Newly-anointed Caballero #3,
Carlito Fuente, and Caballero #2
And because fair is fair, here's one of
our hero with Carlito
Full disclosure: I didn't attend the Famous Smoke megaherf because Valentino played in a golf tournament that weekend. I knew I'd never keep up with Caballero #2; he is a world-class socializer and master cigar passer-outterer and CRA**** signer-upperer, so he'd be busy doing those things. I require a more, um, hands-on handler, because given the choice between sitting in a corner reading and gladhanding...well, let's just say I always have a book with me. No need to tell me; I already know: I am a world-class nerd.
So this week's column for iROBUSTO is 5 Things about why you should attend a big-ass herf. (Or something along that line.) You should check it out! In the meantime, I have to go think of something incredibly clever for next week... Damn, the Thursdays come around quickly, don't they? Until then, I leave you with this:
**Not the ones that roam the land, seeking the souls of people who say they're allergic to foods but aren't, just to hop on the bandwagon. What? That's not an alternate definition of herf?? I could have sworn that was a thing. Can we make it one? Even if it's as elusive as a unicorn, just knowing it's out there somewhere thrills me.
***
****Cigar Rights of America. If you aren't a member, you should become one, stat. (I just double-checked my member status before I wrote that. Didn't want to be a hypocrite. All paid up!)
Congratulations to Miguel and Jon, pals from the Twitter,
who were chosen by the almighty Rafflecopter
and will soon receive a bunch of goodies from us and Ashton Cigars!
(And yes, we said we'd have something for a random commenter.
We're working on that! Don't worry!)
Second and secondmost,
You're going to have to read the story to find the link to the contest.
Bwah hahahaha!
Did you know this is the 12th monthly giveaway? Did you know that means we've been forcing our words upon you for a year? You're welcome. Or: We're sorry.
One of my all-time best friends Jack (also known as J. North Conway), recently signed a deal for some Hollywood-types to make his book Queen of Thieves into a television series.
Jack's most recent book.
Jack's also a fan of Perdomo Cigars, so I thought it apropos we bundle his book with some of his favorite cigars:
The four cigars on the right came from a Perdomo event
held at Cigars International in Hamburg, PA before CigarFest.
The other one, I swiped from the humidor when Valentino wasn't looking!
This match-made-in-delicious-cigar-smoke is also very very serendipitous, as a couple of weeks ago we headed to New Hampshire for a Perdomo, Pistols, and Pizza event, organized by David Garafolo, head honcho of Two Guys Smoke Shop.
So even though we were literally* out of our element, being in a different state and all,** he and David and Barry Stein (Hi Barry!) made us feel super welcome. We'd wanted to actually go to the sponsoring shop, but the day got away from us and we went running running running to be there in time. That means we're going to have make another trip north. Oh, the things we do for you in the name of research and semi-truth*** in reporting.
[Pretend there's a really cool video here highlighting the event. I tried and tried and couldn't upload it and then decided it was causing more stress than I could handle. So I moved on with my life. Of course that means you don't get to see the video. Sorry!]
And then we shot things on a shooting range. (Yes, we brought part of our arsenal to shoot as well.) And then had pizza. Soooo...awesome day!
(L to R) Perdomo Rep Roy Kirby,
Two Guys Smoke Shop Owner David Garafalo,
and Man of the Hour Nick Perdomo.
[photo swiped from David's Facebook page]
For realz, Two Guys Smoke Shop has tons of fantastic events. Before you go check them out, though, enter this month's contest: a Rafflecopter giveaway
You'll be glad you did! <---Because then we'll be internet BFFs.
And check out Jack's other books, one of which has been optioned (to be made into a movie) by Jeremy Renner. You'll be glad you did! <---Because then we'll be book BFFs.
**Although technically we were about 15 minutes from the state line.
***Look, I write fiction (that's the made-up one, not the true one). Anything for a good story (which is why I decided to stop writing for an actual newspaper--back in the day when truth was key to reporting).
6. Other cool people will be there! You want to meet and hang with Bobby and John and the folks who hang at Broadway Cigars.
Photo stolen shamelessly from the Broadway Cigars Facebook page.
Mr. Cool and the Gang
7. From our experience, any Island Jim event--or any event at Broadway Cigars--is always a good time.
8. Will the Travelling Owl will be there. (P.S. Please go like his Facebook page so he'll shut the eff up about us not promoting his "awesomeness" enough. Thank you.)
Jim and Will go waaaay back. Obvs they're BFFs.
9. You get to meet Jim Robinson, Mr. Island Jim himself. Trust us--you will love him. (And that's IF Will isn't bogarting all Jim's time. Will can be an asshole, as we all know.)
10. If you haven't had a Leaf by Oscar or an Island Jim cigar, this is your chance to swoon and meet their maker, simultaneously.
11. Foods. Yummy, yummy foods.
12. We'll be there.
*If you have not read 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher, you should. And you should do it soon. I can't believe you've gone this long without reading it! Or at least listen to it!
Thanks to everyone who entered! And this next giveaway is going to be another bonanza! We're going to tell you about it in just a nanosecond, but as a hint, it will involve this:
Details coming soon!
*If you don't know, this is Robert Taylor as Walt Longmire from the (now) Netflix series Longmire, which is based on Craig Johnson's book series.**
**If you have the chance, you should listen to the books' audio versions, which are narrated by the most awesome George Guidall.***
***You know how everyone wants Morgan Freeman to narrate their lives? I would make George my first, second, and third choices.
UPDATE! We upped the ante! Not just two cigars--at least FOUR! And who knows that else, besides the book. It's a Joya de Nicaragua Cigars Bonanza!!! Keep reading for all the deets!!! What are you still doing here? Go!
First of all,
CONGRATULATIONS
to Lancero Arsonist (@Wm2slc on twitter), also known as Bill Williams!
He won the Kristoff prize pack for the January Cigar of the Month giveaway!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A cigar for the modern smoker. It offers a vibrant and extremely pleasant experience you will enjoy anytime, anywhere. Classy, as always, but a lot more fun."
That's how the Joya de Nicaragua website describes the Joya Red, and I have to say, they're right.* Having been a advertisement copywriter, I can say that the words used to describe a product or service are generally hyperbole wrapped in the slightest bit of truth, with a dash of WTF. So while a lot of ad copy "reads pretty," it generally lacks substance.**
Here's what we're talking about: Launched at the 2014 IPCPR, the Joya Red is a Nicaraguan puro, which brought it near and dear to Valentino's heart before he ever took the cutter from his pocket. More specifically, the wrapper is Nicaraguan Habana, Nicaraguan binder, and Nicaraguan (Jalapa, Condega, Esteli) filler.
In this case, though, no hyperbole or WTF were used in creating this ad copy. Just a lot of truth. According to an article on the Cigar Coop website, "[T]he company said they moved away from their abundant use of ligeros and thick wrappers and made use of more viso leaves." Less strength than Joyas generally have, apparently led to much more flavor, according to our hero, who gave me details later.
I was away at a writing conference, while Valentino whooped it up at a Drew Estate event at Habanos.*** (Honestly, every time a Drew Estate event happens, I'm somewhere else. Dagnabbit!) Apparently, our friendly, neighborhood Drew Estate rep (Hi John Hart!) pushed the Red in Valentino's direction.
About three puffs in, our hero called me and said, "This cigar is fucking good"--before even uttering "Hello." That's pretty high praise, considering he is one classy dude who holds etiquette in high regard. I could almost see the red hearts rising from the cigar smoke as I heard him enjoy the Red.
I was kind of in the same overly-focused mindset during his call and started telling him about how I was hanging with my new BFF, New York Times best-selling author Craig Johnson, the writer of the Longmire books, upon which the now-Netflix, once-A&E, series is based. Valentino was not suitably impressed, as he should have--and usually would have--been. That's how good the Joya Red is. I would like to say I hung on his every word, but, um, no. That's how good a storyteller Craig is--his Wyoming drawl lingered in my brain just as the Joya RED committed itself to Valentino's sensory memory.
For this month's giveaway, we thought we'd marry the subjects of this ill-fated conversation and offer you the opportunity to win this:
I've been holding onto this book for a couple of months because Craig and I promised each other we'd talk on the phone and call it an interview and we'd chat about cigars and books and other things we love. But since then, so many things have happened, both good and bad, and now Craig's in France. As much as I love you guys, I'm not calling France for you.
Did I mention he signed it for you? Because he totally did.
But I also had these cigars in the queue to give away for February, with the whole Valentine's Day, red hearts, tie-in and all.
So you can enjoy this book of short stories while enjoying the cigars. Oh! I guess I should tell you about the book. That would help. Let's start with this: "Twelve Longmire short stories available for the first time in a single volume—featuring an introduction by Lou Diamond Phillips of A&E’s Longmire." [source]****<--[Follow the sparkles for an additional description.]
Don't forget to also watch the series if you haven't already. And read all the Longmire books, because they are really really good--and even better if you listen to them. The audiobooks are available on iTunes. Any and all of those are perfect activities to accompany a Joya Red, which also offers you a variety of opportunities--four vitolas, that is: Short Churchill (4 3/4 x 48), Robusto (5 1/4 x 50), Toro (6 x 52), Cañonazo (5 1/2 x 54).
This is Craig in the airport on his way to France,
as part of his European book tour.
Many opportunities. Many awesome combinations, and any one (or all) of them sure to be a winner. Trust us. We know things. And we're as trustworthy as a Wyoming small town sheriff--although we can't pull off that hat nearly as well as Craig or Longmire does.
Here's how to enter:
So here's what we need you to do--one or two or three of the following:*****
1. Follow us on twitter! We are @cigargal <--obviously Valentino had no say in the making of that twitter handle. Sometimes we're even funny.
Be sure to leave your twitter handle in the comments below--otherwise we won't know you're following us to be in the running for the Joya loot!
This is us--just so you know you're following the right folks!
Be sure to tell us your name in the comments below, especially if you post anonymously, so we can be sure you're vying for the loot <--(rhymes with hoot!) and not one of his already awesome friends.
Yep. That's Will. He's checking his Facebook page.
3. Sign up to receive our blog posts right smack dab in your inboxes! The sign-up box is right below the giveaway picture on the right hand side.
No special directions here--we can consult the list of subscribers!
The winner is chosen on the 25th (ish) of each month--because my birthday is on the 25th, and what better way to count down to the blessed event than to give something away?
*A couple of years ago I would have said "spot on," but now that everyone says it because of some reality TV show or another, I've banished it from my vocabulary.
**Insert your own metaphor, simile, or blonde joke here.
***Drew Estate has the exclusive US distribution rights to all the Joya de Nicaragua cigars sold in this country, which is why that brand demanded attention at the DE event.
****From amazon: "Ten years ago, Craig Johnson wrote his first short story, the Hillerman Award–winning “Old Indian Trick.” This was one of the earliest appearances of the sheriff who would go on to star in Johnson’s bestselling, award-winning novels and the A&E hit series Longmire. Each Christmas Eve thereafter, fans rejoiced when Johnson sent out a new short story featuring an episode in Walt’s life that doesn’t appear in the novels; over the years, many have asked why they can’t buy the stories in book form. "Wait for Signs collects those beloved stories—and one entirely new story, “Petunia, Bandit Queen of the Bighorns”—for the very first time in a single volume, regular trade hardcover. With glimpses of Walt’s past from the incident in “Ministerial Aide,” when the sheriff is mistaken for a deity, to the hilarious “Messenger,” where the majority of the action takes place in a Port-A-Potty, Wait for Signs is a necessary addition to any Longmire fan’s shelf and a wonderful way to introduce new readers to the fictional world of Absaroka County, Wyoming."
*****Or all three! That's three chances to win! Wahoo!
When I moved into Valentino's swanky bachelor pad**, lo those many years ago, I brought with me no less than one zillion books. Then I bought many many bookshelves to hold aforementioned books, thinking I'd have plenty of room. I filled them.
He asked at one point, "What do you need all those books for?"***
"They're my friends," I said, without thinking about the thousand and thousands of paper leaves filling the books.
Speaking of leaves, (this is all going to come together in a second, so stay with us) this fall, we had a chance to tour a tobacco shed and hear about the drying and aging process.
Paper leaves of tobacco leaves!
Hey book, could you be any more gorgeous?
This is the book's description (Thanks, amazon.com!):
"In recent years, over one thousand tobacco sheds have disappeared from the Tobacco Valley. This important book systematically catalogues tobacco sheds from Putney, Vermont, to Portland, Connecticut, a span of just over one hundred miles. The photographs capture the beauty of these unique farm buildings and serve as a valuable record for these endangered barns. The text offers the agricultural history of each town, helping to connect sheds to their own unique region of New England. In addition, the book reinforces the need for preserving one of New England s most unusual farm structures.
"Many sheds in the Connecticut River Valley are still used to dry tobacco leaves that will wrap some of the world's most expensive cigars, but, sadly, some are being left to slowly deteriorate over time or are being torn down to make way for development. This book will be treasured by cigar smokers and architectural historians and preservationists alike."
I totally treasure this book. It's filled with gorgeous photographs and well-written text that tells the story behind these tobacco titans scattered across the Connecticut River Valley, both of which are gorgeous in their own right.
In case you're not sure where we're talking about. [source]
One of the book's pages!
And one of the region's tobacco sheds. Gorgeous, no?
Can I be honest here? Since we're BFFs and all? I've seen these buildings my whole life as my family road-tripped around New England. "Pretty," I'd think and then my thoughts would move along with the car.**** I honestly had no idea tobacco was not only a New England industry but a necessary and successful one. In fact, the shed we toured produced the wrapper for a little cigar called Liga Privada, according to owner Steve Jarmoc; ever heard of it? (Hahaha!)
"Dale Cahill has been a sailor, farmhand, electronic technician, equipment maintenance technician, a life guard, has run an aquatics facility, and is both a father and a grandfather. He has worked at resorts and in factories, favors the outdoors and he loves skiing, mountain biking and photographing beautiful things. He plays mandolin and guitar and owns a ski bar in Vermont.
"Darcy Cahill has been a teacher, school counselor, reporter, and sheep dog breeder. She is a mother and grandmother. She plays fiddle and owns a ski bar with her husband. She also spends time writing, gardening, mountain biking, and skiing." [source]
According to an article in Cigar Aficionado, "The new book Tobacco Sheds, Vanishing Treasures of the Connecticut River Valley, takes the reader on a journey through the Connecticut River Valley and goes behind-the-scenes to show what these majestic barns really are. Authors Dale and Darcy Cahill, who have made these barns their passion for many years now, traveled the length of the 400-mile valley, which touches four U.S. states. More than 1,000 have been lost to time, disrepair and changing fortunes over recent years, but they found sheds remaining in Vermont, Massachusetts and (of course) Connecticut. None remain, they said, in New Hampshire."
Keep an eye out next time you're driving around the Connecticut Valley. They aren't just cool barns off in the distance, as I'd imagined. Well, they kind of are, but they're way more than that. They're SUPER cool barns! And you might even be smoking that shed's wares.
By the way, if you do get a chance to visit a tobacco shed this coming season (and you totally should!), be sure to pick up a nice hat for yourself.
Cabellero #2 and his fab chapeau.
In the meantime, get Tobacco Sheds, Vanishing Treasures of the Connecticut River Valley and enjoy the world around you--or the world your cigar may have come from--while in your cozy, warm house.
****Back in the day when kids' minds wandered during road trips, as opposed to now when they don't even look out the windows because they're watching a video. These kids probably don't even know the joy of fighting with a sibling, unhindered by a seat-belt, during a road trip--or getting a weak slap from a parent on whatever part of your body they can reach as they're driving--or calling "Way back!" so you could sit in the back of the station wagon staring at the drivers behind you and annoying the crap out of said drivers. Annoying two cars of people was a special bonus. Poor kids these days, watching TV during the ride.
I like this picture. He looks like a college professor
whose student just said he hadn't read the homework.
Or he asked what country a student was from and she responded, "Rhode Island."*
A cigar is as good as memories that you have when you smoked it.
This looks like a fantastic book! It's available here!
I'm going to seek out the audiobook!
*This is a true story. I was on a plane, and as we were getting ready to touch down in Spain, started filling out our customs declaration statements. The girl behind me said she didn't know what to do. As the stewardess helped her and asked that innocuous question, the college-aged student really did say her country of origin was Rhode Island.**
