 |
| [source] |
Sometimes I actually buy them. Sometimes I don't--for a variety of reasons, including I forgot about it or was distracted by something else. (Dust motes? Possibly. Ginger ale bubbles? Maybe. Another episode of Archer? Always.)
 |
| The world stops when this is on, regardless of the time or prior commitments. |
Thankfully, sometimes Facebook is an awesome secretary. Pal Barry Stein (Hi Barry!) of Two Guys SmokeShop in New Hampshire told us (okay, told the Facebook world) about the TatuajeM80. Unless you're new to the blog,* you know Valentino and I love love love almost anything limited edition or hard-to-find. Plus...Tatuaje, so....
Barry's
a wily bugger. First, he said,
"Hey, we have these. They're made for us and only us!"** and later,
"Only xx boxes left!" And then "Really, they're almost
gone!"
One
morning, I was lying in bed, procrastinating getting up because mornings can be
assholes. I flipped through Facebook and there was Barry again. His message
pretty much said, "For reals. This is it. They're going to be gone in
nanoseconds!"
I
started filling out the info, squinting because my glasses were out of reach,
and hoping the system held my credit card info from the last purchase. Nope. Maybe they take PayPal? Nope. I didn't want to get up. Nope. Not for
anything.
Dammit.
I could wait and finish the order when/if I got up. It's not like they'd sell
out, right?
But
what if they did and I missed out due to pure laziness? That would be
sucktacular every time someone splashed a picture of the M80 mid-smoke.
I
trounced, no shambled, no, stumbled down the stairs for my wallet and card,
entered the requisite info, and hit Submit Order, all the while holding my
breath.
Shortly
afterwards, Barry posted Two Guys had sold out. I happily wrote "I got
mine!" while feeling a little giddy, as if I'd just been accepted into the
cool kids club. He told me I got the next-to-last box.
I
headed back to bed, but that ship had pretty much sailed. You can't and
shouldn't interrupt laziness with productivity. That's just stupid and I know
better, but I did it, all for the love of the leaf. (See what I did there? Said the name of the blog in the blog?)
I
kind of forgot about them as I scurried around in preparation*** of Valentino's
return from a week-long golf trip.
 |
Then,
the day of his return, a package arrived.
"What
did you buy?" he asked.
I
crinkled my forehead with perplexitude.
"I have no idea."
He
opened it and...
We
decided to save them for a 4th of July party at newly-minted Caballero #3's
house, which seemed apropos.
And
so this happened.
 |
| L-R My boy, our hero, Caballero #3, and Caballero #2 |
"This
is fucking good," Valentino said on the third puff of this 4 x 50 with an Ecuador Habano Oscuro wrapper and Nicaraguan binder and filler. He waited that long to
tell me because I was noticeably absent during the first two.****
Some
guy at the party said, "I'm going to have to have to get some of
those."
 |
| None for you! (Unless you already have them, of course.) |
I'll
admit a bit of smugness as well. Yay me! Yay American Express!
Of
course this means he's going to ration these to the point where he won't
actually smoke them. And now I'm mad I didn't get the last two boxes. When am I
ever going to learn?
As
I'm sitting here writing this, I remembered that I currently have a box of LFD Firecrackers, also only available at Two Guys, in that shop's online shopping
basket. Letting those go because of cupcakes and words would be a shame, so I
hit SAVE on this very blog post, and ordered them. What are the chances I'm
going to remember that I ordered them? Not very good, if you must know.*****
But
when they do arrive, you'll be the first to know. Well, not first. But as far
as you know, you'll be the first.
 |
| Will misunderstood our M80 discussion. |
*In
which case, HELLO! how are you? You look very pretty today.
**Paraphrase
***Cleaning,
but not that "everything is messy and he's going to flip if I don't do
it," but instead, "Crap, I have seven pieces of paper randomly strewn
on the counter and the vacuum lines have disappeared from the carpet"
clean. But still, it was making me crazy.
****there
were CUPCAKES that needed to be eaten and I take that job seriously.
*****However,
I CAN remember that John Lennon died in 1980, even though I never really paid
much attention to him or his music at that point. Also, Sammy Davis Jr. and Jim
Henson died on the same day. (There are people sitting near me talking about
celebrities and when they died. These two fun facts popped into my head during
their convo. Because I am socially
awkward, I kept these thoughts to myself and my nose in my iPad.)
