I drew a blank, and then had an epiphany! What to get Holly for her birthday!

As you may remember, I was solely responsible for my own child's corruption, er, leap into the cigar world.

I performed the same service for another person's child: my son's longtime girlfriend.* She fell for the Drew Estate infused cigars when they visited here in August. (Tee hee.) Sorry, not sorry.

For Christmas, we gave her a plethora of Drew Estate ACID dandies. Let me see if I can remember which ones...

Blondies for sure, both sizes (4 x 38 and 5 x 54). I'm a big fan of second-hand smoking these. They're the perfect love child of Bit-O'-Honey candies snogging with Brach's Milk Maid candies.**

Kuba Kuba (5 x 54). This holds a special place in my heart, as my first infused second-hand smoke. Whenever someone mentions any infused cigar, this is where my mind automatically goes. The Drew Estate website says the maduro is a "rich twist on an ACID favorite." And that favorite is delectable, as if you gathered together in one place coffee, hot caramel sauce just as it's made and on the verge of burning but not quite, and a mixture of spices. (The spices scent reminds me of when you open our spice cabinet and all the smells come out together, creating something completely new--so, yeah. Spice.) The poster child for infused cigars, in my mind, anyway.

Toast (6 x 50). I am a big fan of toast--bread in the toaster kind of toast. With butter. And jam. So when someone not too long ago ordered one of these cigars, I briefly dreamt of my favorite midnight snack, Portuguese sweet bread with black cherry jam (jam I made, because I'm that kind of awesome). Know what? I wasn't that far off. Yay me! Now if I could only get Valentino to smoke one at midnight, when I'm craving a snack...***

"It's wafer-thin."****

Wafe (5 x 46). Honestly, I don't know anyone who has smoked these. Let me clarify--I wasn't paying attention if anyone smoked these around me. But! Full disclosure: I like the flat shape. It's cool. Shush. Don't be so judgey. Go take a look. You can't deny its high cool factor.  Famous Smoke says, "It's the savory, sensual aroma of ACID cigars in a thin, wafer-shaped cigar. Prime Nicaraguan tobaccos are meticulously marinated with an ambrosial mix of the finest herbal and botanical essences for a mild and satisfying aromatic smoke." I'm going to need to pick one up so I can see if that's true. ('Cause we're all about truth in reporting here. ::cough cough::)

Nasty (4 x 52). Another I purchased because of the shape--this one (obviously) a short, pyramid-maduro. Rumour has it, chocolate is the key taste here. I guess I'll have to make sure she has one (or ten) next time we see each other. Or I guess I could deem a research project necessary...

And then...

[source]

The one non-ACID player in the box, part of the Natural series: Jucy Lucy (3 x 38). I chose these for her because a friend loves them. (Hi, Alexis!) They're another sweetie-pie, with a little caramel, a bit of chocolate... But their tiny size makes me think of those eensy desserts you get at restaurants nowadays.*****  A couple of bites (or puffs) and the darned thing is kaput. Dangit. Waiter! Another please!

As I'm typing this, I'm wondering what to get her for her birthday. Der.

*As I can barely remember how old he is, there's no way on God's green Earth I'm going to be able to figure out how long they've been together.

**I rarely see either of these candies anymore. Is there an entire generation or two who have never had those stuck in the backs of their teeth while they listen to their Nana tell stories? That seems really sad.

***He's sound asleep as I type this. Damned steroid treatments. I want to wake him up to play with me! Wheee! It's 1:25 am! Going to make some regular toast, I guess.

****A million bonus points if you get the reference.

*****HATE these. Get me a damned piece of cake. Or pie. Or anything not made for a paper doll.

The waiting is the hardest part. Or: Aging cigars is not fun for those of us with limited patience

Right now,* Valentino and I are transporting goods across state lines. (Teehee!)

 

We really are the world's most innocuous mules. I have nothing stashed in my bouffant hairdo** a la Marge Simpson. Valentino has nothing sewn into his jacket. (I was going to go with another image, one more traditional in the smuggling world, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Hi, Mom!)

 

Instead of being supercool and in the midst of a car chase with guns ablazin', we're driving along Interstate 80 in Pennsylvania, minding speed limits and listening to 70s on 7.  (I love Sirius/XM radio.)

 

And a backseat full of these:

In boxes, obviously. Not a back seat full of loose cigars.

We spent a couple of afternoons/evenings at Island Jim Robinson's Leaf and Bean this past week, but couldn't actually smoke any of his signature cigars. They were totally sold out. He told us some had been produced and were sitting in Honduras, silently aging.***  He stressed that he wouldn't have them shipped to himself or anyone else until they were practically perfect in every way. (I'm paraphrasing, obvs. I just can't see Jim quoting Mary Poppins.) 

 

Then we saw on Facebook (my major source for news) that the cigars were wide awake and U.S.-bound.

They were on their way here!!

THEN! Our friend Bobby from Broadway Cigars said, Hey, 10 boxes please! And through a series of cryptic messages, we wound up with a backseat full of boxes. 

 

The interesting point here, and there actually is a point, is this: Cigar makers want to make sure every cigar is as perfect as possible. Our friend Paul Joyal, he of J Grotto cigars, told us he was out of the Anniversary Series double perfecto, an amazing cigar in its own right. We saw them at Jim's place, and at Broadway Cigars, but Paul himself didn't have any in his own shop. 

(He's going to kill me for using this picture!)
The J Grotto double perfecto in PA!

 

Were they hand rolled and ready to go? Yep. 

 

Would they be travelling to the US? Nope. 

 

"I'd rather they be perfect," he said. "It's not a financial decision. It's a quality decision."

 

Valentino and I like to say, "You're only as good as your last envelope," meaning people remember the last thing you did for them, the last plate you served them at a restaurant, whatever. The metaphor crosses into a zillion professions--although I'm fond of the saying's mob ties. 

 

If you have a bad cigar, especially if it's your first time with that premium cigar, you might not go back to it, especially with so many other options on the market. Boutique cigar crafters make the right decision when they hold off until the cigar has enough aging under its belt.

Cigars International says in their article, "Properly Aging Cigars," "Aging is often what makes a good cigar a great one."

We actually know this from experience.

For his birthday, I bought Valentino a box of his own blend of cigars, thanks to George Rico, head honcho at Gran Habano Cigars. So cool (both George and the ability to create your own blend). Valentino chose the filler, binder, and wrapper, by using their  super-fun blending kit, which contains "10-20 puritos of each tobacco leaf available at the time...detailed menu of the tobaccos included, and a blending sheet," according to the feature article on cigar.com, from whence the kit comes.

The choices...

So he puffed away on the puritos, mixing and matching, trying to figure out his most favorite.

The choosing...
(Thanks for taking the pictures, Nathalie!)

Then, because Valentino is Valentino, much research ensued, including lots of discussions with our cigar pals in-the-know, including Mr. J Grotto himself. Finally, he settled on a blend.  And a few months later, this arrived:

Yes, those are angels you hear singing.

More angels singing.
This is the sticker that held the paper covering the cigars together.
(Weird sentence. Too lazy to fix it.)
(We do not promise perfection here. Just a few laughs.)

By all that's right and holy, he should have fallen in love with them on first puff.

That does not look like a man in love with his cigar.

Not the cigar's fault. It needs more time to, as we incorrectly say, "marinate."

Here's a general guideline, from Cigar Secrets:

• "3 weeks stabilizes the mechanical tensions and moisture of a cigar, making it smoke better, particularly if it was shipped ‘green’
• 3 months allows the oils to begin their natural dissipation so that the flavors of the blend ‘marry’ [Hahaha. I should have said "marryinate."]
• 3 years (in a temperature/humidity controlled environment) allows some more complex chemical processes of true aging to take place, creating deep, rich and subtle layers of flavor
• Beyond 3 years – Carefully stored, cigars just keep getting better and better"****

At the launch of the J Grotto Anniversary series, Valentino had a nice chat with Philip Zanghi, of Debonaire Cigars, about how fermentation during the aging process reduces the ammonia and other chemicals that make, if smoked too soon, the cigar taste like ass.***** Longer-aged cigars result in mellowed acridity.

So, yes, we know he shouldn't have smoked the Cabellero #1 so soon upon its arrival, but come on. That's like buying an edible gift early on in the shopping season and not eating it.

[source]

At least Island Jim and Paul Joyle keep their cigars in another country to ensure proper aging. Lucky bastards. Although I bet they would leave the edible Christmas gifts alone too. What are you guys? Robots? Sheesh.

Anyway, the moral of the story is this: We will certainly entertain offers to mule cigars for you, if necessary. For a price, of course. Like, maybe, some Christmas gifts you're still holding onto... nom nom nom. Please just don't make us wait too long.

Will's not happy with the Idiot Handler who took the lousy picture.
He says it doesn't show the extent or importance of his work.

 

 

*Hahaha. As if I could finish a blog post in the same year I started it.

 

**I wish I could even keep a bouffant bouffanted for more than 13 seconds. 

 

***Shhhh. The Island Jims are sleeping.

****Naturally, there are exceptions. But that's a post for another time!

*****My interpretation, obvs.

Camp Kristoff, Part the First

Not too long ago,* Glen Case (Hi Glen!), the head-honcho of Kristoff Cigars, visited Habanos, one of our favorite hang-outs, a place in our own back yard...

You remember Glen, right? We first met him at Havana Cigar Lounge in West Warwick, RI.

Havana owner Todd LaScola, our hero, and Glen Case.

Well, one night we were shenaniganning** over at Broadway Cigars at a Montecristo event and then later rolled closer to home, into Habanos. And there was Glen Case! It was like we walked into our own back yard and happily found a cool kid from a neighboring neighborhood! Yay!

Unlike the first time we hung around with him, which was an actual Kristoff event, whereby he was required to be an adult in full-adult mode; this time he had the relaxation cranked up to 11.

After we settled in, giving out lots of "hello" kisses, Valentino lit one of these delights, which we'd previously purchased at that Havana event:

The 685 Woodlawn, on the right.
That's the star of this show.

Glen stopped mid-sentence and said, "Where did you get that cigar?"

Valentino took the cigar from his mouth and looked at it, just to remind himself which delicious stick consumed his senses. "At the event in West Warwick," he said, making his way to the bar with Glen and Jarrid Trudeau (Hi Jarrid!), a cool dude in his own right and Kristoff's Northeast rep, to sit with me.

"That's my favorite stick," Glen said. "I don't even have any of those in my humidor at home."

Now if you must know, I have some mad internet skillz.*** So when Glen reiterated the lack of 685s, I hauled out my laptop and began a search.

Pretend I'm currently searching and during the lull, we'll cut away to a montage of information about this cigar:

• The cigar's name comes from the house he grew up in. 685 Woodlawn in the suburbs of Chicago. See? That makes me love it already because you must know by now how much I love a good story. By the way, it's not the family homestead any more, but an ode to your first home? Awesomely cool. (As a side note, Mom and Dad? Don't plan on moving out of that house, especially to move to Florida, as all your peers have. Stay put.)
• A small batch released in April-ish 2013, only 2,000 boxes of 10 were made.
• The wrapper is from Brazil, binder from Nicaragua, and filler from Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, and a super secret place--maybe Oz? Santa's workshop? Brigadoon****? 
• Comes in one size, the 6 1/2 x 60 perfecto--one of our favorite shapes!
• I love love love this cigar. (I seem to have a real fondness for small batches, as if the more I know I can't get it, the more I want it. But that's pretty much the way of life, right?)

Glen and Valentino***** whooping it up.
Actually, they were discussion serious life things
while I challenged the mighty internets to a duel.
I won.

So within moments, I found a few boxes of the 685 available for purchase and gave Glen and Jarrid the info. I guess if I were a really good person, I would have bought him a box, and a box for ourselves...but...no.  Of course I regret this now. Or I did! <--Blatant forshadowing.

That night Valentino smoked his one and only 685, filling my lungs with some serious sweetness with a background of pepper. Kind of like smelling and tasting the fruit pie Nana is making in the house while simultaneously inhaling the heavily-peppered steaks' smoke wafting from the neighbors' grill. If you could get both flavors in your face at the same time--the pepperiness, the fruitiness, and the creamy, buttery crust, you'd be experiencing the 685 Woodlawn.

The night over, we were left with some super fun memories of time with our Kristoff friends and the Kristoff cigars. Now the story should end there, but no, because there's another chapter to the story.

On our way to visit my son in West Virginia for the holidays, we accidentally drove by the most massive of cigar stores, Cigars International in Hamburg, PA. Come on, we were driving right by the exit. And we needed gas anyway...

Just a teeny tiny bit of the gigantean place!
Lousy picture by moi!

One of the first things we saw as we entered the store? (That foreshadowing comes into play now.) We saw this:

Oh my sweet darling...

We scooped these up and asked about more.  The very nice staff lady searched high and low, climbing ladders to look in way high cubbies and giving herself a headrush looking in the store's deep, dark crevices.  And know what? She found another box! That was some amazeballs customer service!  We took them and ran!

This isn't true. I held them close to myself, like a treasured Latin textbook****** and we slowly perused the entire store, twice.

We're heading home from our travels tomorrow and I hope on Tuesday we can do some more research with these, see if they will once again help me relive the long, slow, sunny days of a childhood summer--even if I am a grownup now (boo) and we've just entered a long winter (double boo). I may ask Valentino to bring two.





*Keeping in mind I have real issues with time passing quickly and not recognizing it.

**A real word in Penny World.

***Not nearly as good as my friend Shelagh, who could teach a master class, but still better than the average schmoe.

****One of my all-time favorite plays.

*****This picture is actually from later in the evening, when our hero had moved on to a different Kristoff cigar.

******I'm probably the only one who ever actually treasured a textbook, right? Especially a Latin one? Thought so. Just to let you know, I still have my high school Latin books.

A Bounty of Christmas Spirit (or: Where's Will?)

The festivities abound, as we told you about recently. We are (cigar) party animals as we count down to the VBT (10 days!).

Tonight, we are at one of our favorite places, Broadway Cigars, and guess who is here!

 

This guy! And Jim Robinson,
he of Leaf by Oscar and Island Jim Cigars

Our hosts, the lovely Bobby and JV, wish you could have been here with us! They told us they missed you!  Here's what you could have gotten:

Will practicing his showcase skills,
with the hopes of having a guest spot on The Price is Right.
How's he doing?

I know you probably know lots about the Leaf and Island Jim cigars, but if you're new (Hi! Welcome!), check out the links for lots and lots of information and jocularity.*

There were some shenanigans and this happened:

And this:

But let's talk about the best part of the night.** About 90 percent of the guys who came in had a bag of toys for this:

Can you find Will in this picture?
(No, we're not giving him away!)

Will wants you to help provide toys for the kids of Federal Hill House in Providence, RI. Stop by Broadway Cigars with a toy. Can't get to the toy store? Make a donation and Bobby will do the shopping for you!

You know, there are only ten days until Christmas, in addition to the VBT, so get over there quickly and help out a kid or ten.

And while you're there, buy a cigar or ten or twenty--they make great gifts for yourself, or someone else. We recommend getting cigars for someone who doesn't smoke them and then you'll get to keep the gift, but the giving still counts!***

While you're there, make friends with the folks at Broadway. You'll be so glad you did!



*And inane comments.

**Besides the food. And the company.

***We actually know someone who did this--gave Valentino a gift; it didn't work, so they brought it back. The people counted the gift as given! Boom! (And he's still out a gift from that year.)****

****Not that we're keeping track, but, yeah, we're keeping track.

Serendipity Happens: Lord of the Rings

Serendipity: "fortunate happenstance" "pleasant surprise"

Serendipity: A pretty good John Cusack movie

Serendipity: A chocolate shop where you can get this ice cream sundae:

For a mere $1,000. [source]

Serendipity: One of my all-time favorite words and a favorite occurrence. I get sad when serendipity happens and I miss it!

The other evening, while at Habanos, Valentino saw someone wearing a Tatuaje shirt and asked our friend and fabulous bartender Nathalie (Hi Nathalie!)* if he worked for one of the cigar companies. She said, "No," but thought Valentino would enjoy chatting with him, so she introduced them.

As they chatted, Valentino noticed a magnificent ring on his finger--in the shape of an ashtray with a cigar and lots and lots of shiny elements.Naturally, my man swooned, because that ring, loaded with sapphires and diamonds gold and silver is effing gorgeous.

The man, Hamo Tavitian, told our hero that he DESIGNED it. He MADE it. (You guys! How cool is that?**) He showed Valentino pictures of other things--cufflinks, money clips, bracelets...and much more, that he's designed. You can see some of them here. Gorgeous, right?

Of course, I didn't know any of this was happening because I was home grading papers.*** But when he returned to the homefront, a mere six minutes away, he told me the whole story and showed me pictures. How could he pass up a custom-made ring? Especially one as super cool as that?

Now if I had been there, I probably would have been vying for his attention**** and he might not have even noticed the nice man and his shirt, and then...and then...

The next day, he made the call and ordered this baby:

It's a little reminiscent of that delectable dish above, isn't it?
(Humour me and say, "Yes.")

But wait! There's more:

Here's a funny thing: Let's call it serendipity light.  We were chatting with our friends at Rolling Stogies during the Providence Columbus Day Festival on Atwell's Ave...

Thanks for the day off, sir!!

...and one of the guys (Hi Joe!) said, "Hey, we just saw a guy with a really cool ring. It was kind of like an ashtray."

We were all, "Whaaa?" and "OMG!"

Here's another funny thing: We were at the festival 1. Because you know we love those things and 2. To meet up with Hamo to pick up Valentino's ring!

And here's a fabulous thing about this ring: It is custom-made, so even if another guy did have one, it would never be the same as our hero's!!

 
You need to check out Hamo's website and then you need to contact him and then you need to get one and then you need to call and thank me and buy me a cupcake.*****

Lord of the Rings (and other lovely jewelry)

"I'm passionate about my work," Hamo said. "Jewelry is my first love and cigars are my passion--every piece of Design by Hamo jewelry is hand-designed and hand crafted by me. I hope you enjoy wearing it as much as I do making it." Trust us, you totally will.******

Note the H on the cigar. Hmmm...I wonder what that stands for...
(It's Hamo.)

Know what helps up the Cool Factor? It's as heavy as...a really, really heavy thing. So heavy that if I wore it around my neck for more than ten minutes, I'd become a C-shaped lady right-quick. But it would be worth it because everyone would stop and admire my lovely necklace, just like they admire his gorgeous ring.

Just so you know, Hamo creates a full line of men's and women's cigar-themed rings, cuff links, pendants and accessories with many various stones and metals including ruby, emerald, gold, silver and more. See just a small sampling here and here.

Let's take another look at this and swoon over the blue sapphires, diamonds, Argentinian silver, and gold. And you can't even see the ruby that's mimicking the lit end of the cigar.

Hamo's business is located in Boston, but that doesn't preclude you from chatting with him and maybe getting a little something--or somethings--for yourself, regardless of where you live. Or you could just happen to leave the website open on a page that just happens to have a picture of something you just happen to want. Because sometimes, just sometimes, serendipity needs a jump start.



*Hi (again) Nathalie!

**The Cool Factor is cranked up to a zillion!

***Grrrrrr

****Hahahaha

*****Cupcakes are the world's greatest reward.

******We are incredibly trustworthy, if we do say so ourselves. And we do say so.

The day Valentino's cigar life changed forever (with apologies to Dickens and A Christmas Carol)

Once upon a time, a man named Valentino happened into Mr. J's Havana Shop in West Warwick, RI. As usual, the proprietor greeted him warmly and they chatted about the Ghosts of Cigars Past and gazed at Cigars Future, which would be ghosts soon enough--just wisps of smoke, the unique perfume all that lingers, at least for a short time.

Like a kid in a candy store, Valentino chose his cigars carefully and deliberately.  And then Mark said, "I thought of you the minute this came in. You're going to love it."

And like Ebenezer Scrooge at the end of A Christmas Carol, the moment the flame touched the fundadores gordo (7.5 x 46), his life changed forever. There was love in his heart, hope in his soul, and brilliance in his brain. Oh, I'm just kidding. That stuff has always been there. But smoking the nearly-perfect Joel Sherman 75th Anniversary from the Nat Sherman company intensified everything, making his world a little brighter, a little better.

The beginning of a new beginning.

Or so rumour has it, for I did not partake of this Most Excellent Adventure.

When we met up at the end of the day, he sang the praises of this Dominican filler and binder, with the light Ecuadorian Connecticut wrapper, happily showing me the other two he'd purchased--and would probably never smoke. After all, this limited edition (2,500 boxes, ten in a box) would surely sell out quickly, so these would be saved for very, very, very special occasions.*

We've always** been fans of the Nat Sherman company; they exude class and maintain an amazing level of consistency in all aspects of the business. My introduction to all things Nat Sherman came in the form of a Mr. J's Havana cigar dinner, at which the amazing Michael Herklots introduced us to the fine details of blending and creating a cigar, as well as giving us a clear overview of the cigar industry. Oh, and provided us with delicious cigars, of course.

If we travel with the Ghost of Cigars Past, we'd see me, on that day, realizing a cigar really is more than a cigar--it's a community, a way of life, a way to connect with like-minded strangers, an industry composed of small and large businesses that care about their customers, an industry where you can share a drink and a laugh with those business owners.

Fast forward a bit and in July, I started to get excited about the Joel Sherman when the company released the info on the 75th Anniversary during ICPCA. I even told you all about it here!

Because he loved this so much, we took a trip back to West Warwick and purchased a box. That meant I would get to enjoy the cigar too.  And enjoy it I did. Valentino had earlier proclaimed it in his top three of all time. My turn had come (by way of second-hand-smoke) and I'd decide whether or not this was all hyperbole.***

It was not hyperbole. In fact, whatever the highest level of anti-hyperbole would be called, it was that.  He had earlier described it as the most amazing flavors, which didn't blend together like a rock band, creating one unified sound, but more individual tastes playing nicely together, side by side, some coming up for a brief solo and then receding, like an orchestra.

The "crest on the front of the box...was inspired
by a bass drum Sherman played when he was younger." [source]

According to HalfWheel, "The first third starts out with a great base of creamy peanuts, along with nice flavors of cedar, leather, white chocolate, earth and white pepper on the retrohale. A slight sweetness comes and goes, while there is a very distinct lemon peel note that starts about halfway through the first third and continues to grow stronger as the cigar burns."

I definitely noticed a creaminess throughout, but keeping track of each delicious smell and taste seemed almost impossible on this first go-round, especially since we sat on the porch and the wind stole away with the delicious flavors meant for me.****

 About the second third, Brooks Whittington of HalfWheel said, "An interesting buttery creaminess starts to invade the profile of the Nat Sherman product during the second third, combining nicely with a sweetness that tastes quite a bit like vanilla to me. Other flavors of peanuts, coffee, leather, earth and cocoa flit in and out, while the lemon peel tartness from the first third has actually receded quite a bit by the halfway point."

I couldn't believe we only had one spare before we'd have to open the box and I didn't want to negotiate what would constitute a very, very, very special event worthy of a Joel Sherman. So I went to a favorite online retailer and, using a 17% off coupon code, I purchased another box. Now we owned 2! [Added January 7, 2015. I think we have four and a half boxes now. Yay!]

Whittington takes on the final third of the 75th Anniversary, stating that it "continues the trend of evolving flavors with a hay note taking over dominance from the buttery creaminess that was in the second third. Leather, earth, chocolate, espresso and even a little cinnamon are all on display."

We've, of course, accidentally driven 40 minutes out of our way (a few times) since the initial Joel Sherman purchase and each time we do, another box sits on the counter of Mr. J's. And each time that happens, we pick up another one or two, because one day, they won't be there and we really will have to decide what constitutes a Very Special Occasion, one worthy of this cigar.

Yesterday, Valentino showed a true level of friendship. He gifted Cabellero #2 one of these precious sticks.

"Smokin a gift from my good buddy Caballero #1...a Nat Sherman ( Joel Sherman 75th),"
said Cabellero #2 on Facebook, when he posted this picture.

But given how happy it made our friend, I'm happy knowing it went to a good home.

"Ahhhhh..."

 And as the Ghost of Cigars Present, which has revealed itself in the form of the Joel Sherman 75th Anniversary, said, just a nub of its former self, "My time with you is at an end, Valentino. Will you profit from what I've shown you of the good in most men's hearts?"*****

Valentino burns his fingertips, unwilling to bid adieu to his new friend, but finally acquiescing. We retreat into the house, done for the day, as no other cigar can follow this one. "His own heart laughed; and that was quite enough for him."******





*I can't actually think of an event that would call for this kind of celebratory cigar.

**For the past few years anyway.

***Not that I was doubting him, but, you know, I just wanted to make sure.

****I shake my fist at you, Nature! I hope you enjoyed it!

*****This is where the apology to Dickens occurs.

******Here, too.

Boom. That's customer service, bitches. (A tutorial)

We had one hell of a customer service day last Friday. Hell in a good way.

After I taught a couple of classes, Valentino and I headed to Mr. J's Havana Shop's tent sale, which was under an actual tent. We love love love the folks there (Hi Paul! Hi Mark! Hi Tom! Hi Nate!) and they helped us pile up huge quantities of awesome sticks and then asked us to pay for them. We did, because we're nice like that. And American Express is nice enough to let us be nice. 

So, yeah. This happened:

I later accidentally fell asleep on the couch
while Valentino played Tetris in the humidor.
I didn't think he'd need to so soon after purchasing
the 2,000-count gorgeous monstrosity, but two months later...yep. Tetris.

 

I'd tell you to go and check out the sale but I'm not going to because 1. By the time I finish writing this, the tent will be packed up until next year, and 2. I don't think there was much left after we left. (Sorry, latecomers!!) [Added: 3. This post has been sitting in the drafts folder for a week. There's a reason I don't work in newspaper journalism--deadlines and timelines are dumb.]

Anyway, after the cigar bonanza, we went to PF Chang's for lunch because someone was crabby and hungry and headachy. (Hint: It was me.). We got the lettuce wraps and Wonton BABS.* The lettuce of the lettuce wraps? Yucky. Limp and brown.**  And who likes that?***

We wept over the limp**** lettuce and asked the server for a better collection of leaves. She was super nice and replaced them. We then happily rolled chicken into lettuce, making lettuce wrap cigars, ha ha, which sounds ridiculous until you taste it.*****

Then! Then the manager came over, apologized for the lousy lettuce, and said, "That's on me." That's how you do it, business folks. We will definitely go back there, rather than the one further away, because he created some serious goodwill. (Why am I feeling the need to use the word "lettuce" ad nauseum? ::shrugs:: You're welcome.)

Then, we trudged to the Apple Store because ugh. People. And kids. And overly enthusiastic salespeople, er, geniuses, er, whatever they're called. And even more people, each and every one of them making a ton of noise. The previous weekend, I did what my Almighty iPhone commanded of me and upgraded to iOS 8. And my camera stopped focusing. I didn't know where to put the Adderall, so we went to the Verizon store. The staff collectively made the "Huh, that's weird" face and sent us to Apple. 

It took over a week to muster up the courage and energy to actually go to the Apple Store, and when we did, we were told we could come back the next day because that was the next appointment. Oh, Saturday afternoon at the Apple Store sounds like a dream come true.******  Oh, and they told us that they'd be happy to replace it for us. For almost $300 dollars. But we needed to come back the next day for someone to make that joyousness happen.

Valentino did the thing he did, which I can't understand or explain,******* and before I knew it, we were in front of a manager who told us we didn't need another appointment and they'd replace the phone at no cost to us. I do have to wait for it to be delivered to the store, because they didn't have any in stock. I'm okay with that, although I never realized how often I use the camera throughout the day until I couldn't.********

Two days later, new phone, with camera! And they said it would be 3-5 days!

Talk about amazeballs customer service, the day's awesomeness didn't end there! After Valentino's Tetris session, we headed to Broadway Cigars.  (Hi Bobby! Hi John! Hi JV!) Bam. We love going there. They treat us like family--although they haven't asked us to help them move or take them to the airport yet, so...almost like family. We'll tell you more about that in a second!! <--I'll even put a link in there, as soon as I write the post!! Done!

::types furiously::

PS:

Let's revisit this picture again for a second.
Some of this may be Christmas presents for someone who is not Valentino.
You'll have to wait and see what you get, mister. No calling dibs on anything.

 

*Big Ass Bowl of Soup

**We're talking about lettuce, people. Lettuce. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

***Answer: No one.

****Not really weeping. Just a spot of despair.

*****It will probably still sound ridiculous, but you will forgive it immediately. 

*****Said no one ever. 

******It's something you have to see to believe. And you can never copy it. My mom says he could charm a starving dog off a meat wagon. 

*******Isn't that always the way?