Cuellar Connecticut Kreme: A Great Discovery (Or: Corruption of my own child, part 2)

Things you should know:

1. I don't confuse easily. Except anything to do with math. Math is stupid and I challenge it to a duel.
2. I am on a first name basis with the mighty, mighty internets and am pretty darned good at researching stuff. Except math. Researching math is stupid.
3. Different is cool. Except differential equations because that's math. Differential equations (sons of math) are stupid.
4. I know the font changes in this post. I'm sorry. I tried to fix it. And then I stopped trying because I needed to keep a modicum of sanity.

Keep these things in mind. They're going to come in handy later.

Sean (my son) and Valentino and I were on a bit of a mission* to fill a small humidor for the young one (well, relatively young one). We went with a bunch that we already loved--Nub, J Grotto Silk, My Father Connecticut.... Look! Here's a picture!
 

There were more when he left the house. Hmmm...I wonder what happened...

 
Anyway, the story isn't about that. It's about this...

The cigar with so many names it's almost unfindable
unless you have the correct combination.
Unless, also, you happen to see them in your favorite tobacco shop.

 
In the sea of deliciously dark cigar boxes sat a glossy, heavy-duty white box. Oooh. Shiny. But I was a little apprehensive. It was different. I like different. But was it one of those issues where the packaging made up for an inferior product? Because that happens, as we all know. (I'd give an example, but I don't want to call anyone out, so, yeah. You know what I mean.)
 
But our tobacconists, the incomparable Paul and Mark at Mr. J's assured us the Cuellar Connecticut Kreme by Villiger Cigars was more than just a pretty box. The cigar comes in four sizes--
 
Robusto: 5 x 48
Toro Gordo: 6 x 54
Churchill: 7 x 50
Torpedo: 6 1/4 x 52
 
We purchased three of the four and took the Toro Gordo on the road with us to Federal Hill. There, we took my boy on a tour of the place and ultimately landed at the LaPigna statue at Garibaldi Square. (Yes, we're creatures of habit.)
 
After deciding who would sit on the wet spot of the bench (not me; I'm a girl and as such, am afforded certain benefits thanks to my delicate female sensibilities.**), we settled in and the gentlemen started their butane engines, toasting and lighting.
 
This cigar was launched at the IPCPA in Las Vegas recently, so digging up a ton of research materials proved difficult. Finding a picture of that shiny white box? Impossible, so don't ask. But the things I do for you folks!!! Here are some details!
 
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Connecticut Leaf
Binder: Cuban Seed Piloto Ligero
Filler: Cuban Seed and Criollo 98

We chose this as an addition to the new humidor because of the lightness--our goal wasn't to blast my boy's taste buds into the stratosphere so early in the game.
 

Where I did not want my son's taste buds to go. [source]

The mild choice proved perfect for our new cigar smoker. He said, as he progressed from the first to second third, "It tingled my tongue but then mellowed out."
 
The folks at Cigar Coop had the same experience, but with much more detail. "The start to the Cuéllar Connecticut Krēmē surprised me with black pepper notes right out of the gate. There also was a light 'twang' on the tongue from the pepper notes. I also detected the pepper notes on the retro-hale - something that would be present throughout the cigar experience. Once the pepper subsided, notes of cream and wood emerged. There also was a subtle fruit sweetness in the background."
 
As I experience the second-hand smoke in stereo, I, too, sensed the pepper but also the long-lasting creaminess, which you all know I am a serious fan of inhaling.
 
Our in-house cigar expert, Valentino himself, concurred that this smoke ranked high on his list. "A good breakfast smoke," he said. "A good, smooth entry into the day. Although it's still smooth and wonderful at any time of day."
 
Jack from StogieNet.com said about this cigar, "Smooth is the name of the game....The overall flavor is a creamy smooth woodiness.  Lemon curd, fresh hay, and some grassy notes are in there too.  I have found that grassy notes can be a bit harsh in Connecticut cigars but this cigar is so smooth that the flavor fits perfectly.  A very mild cedar spice, light coffee, and a nice herbal note appear in the middle of the cigar.  Here the creaminess really starts to shine.  There is almost no bite to the smoke at all.  As you can imagine, it is an exceptionally mild cigar...but it does lean higher on the mild scale as you smoke it.  The filler contains 16  year old criollo tobacco, hence the smooth body.  Some caramel,vanilla, nuts, and extremely smooth woody characters pop up towards the end of the cigar.  I am blown away.  It doesn't get hot or harsh at the end either.  Superb smoke all around."
 

I know. Lousy picture. You get the gist.

  
Where does the confusion come in? Don't just ask the mighty, mighty internets for info on Kreme cigars because you will wind up in Krispy Kreme hell.*** And don't look on the Villiger website, because you'll find lots of great info, but not on this baby. This cigar, in fact, has so many varied monikers, and Villiger so many logos, I almost gave up. Almost.
 

 
 
So I went even deeper into the internet and sought out Carolyn with Villiger Cigars. (Thanks, facebook!) She directed me to the Cueller website, which I wouldn't have found in a zillion years! You should totally check it out!
 
I also found this pretty interesting information. "The Cuellar is named for Diego Velázquez de Cuéllar. Velázquez was a Spanish conquistador who sailed with Christopher Columbus on his second voyage to the New World in 1493. He settled in Hispaniola (the island that the Dominican Republic was a part of). Eventually he played an integral role in the conquest of Cuba and by 1515 he was appointed Governor of Cuba. The Connecticut Krēmē is derived from the wrapper (Ecuadorian Connecticut) and the cigar's creamy profile." [source]
 

"Hey! Where are my royalties?"

 
Of course, I also can't find these cigars online anywhere,**** so I can't secretly ship them to my son! Or Valentino!***** But I can head back to Mr. J's and scoop up a handful or two. I'm sure no one will mind. And it won't matter what I call them. I'll just look for the shiny, white boxes.******  
 
  *With shenanigans and sneakiness involved, but that's a post for another day.
 
**Stop laughing, you scoundrel.
 
***Hell because we live in Dunkin' Donuts central, with the head office less than an hour away. No Krispy Kremes anywhere around here. ::weeps::
 
****Although I will admit that I haven't searched very hard and am always looking for an excuse to go to visit our friends at Mr. J's.
 
*****I like to order cigars and ship them to him as a surprise. Tee hee! Although that won't work here, I guess. Dang.
 
******Private joke for Sean and Valentino: Boxen.