Happy Birthday, Sean!

Today is my boy's twenty-somethingth birthday.*

*To figure it out would cause me to do math and since that horrible math incident, I've been court-ordered to abstain from all mathematical queries, as they become mathematical quandaries.

And then there was...

a Love of the Leaf website.

The website is designed by our awesome SuperFriend Deep Dish Dave.
Then I work on it and mess it up.
Then he goes back and fixes it because he's nice like that.
He doesn't even get mad when I break the mighty internets.

Please hold your applause until the end of the show. Go check it out.

We'll wait, because we're suckers for applause.

Especially applause from penguins.

But we'll be grateful for yours too.

AWOL? Nah. Absent because of reasons...so I guess that's ABOR

In the last week or so, you pretty much got nothing from us.

Not. A. Thing.

I'd say I'm sorry, but believe it or not, I wasn't lying on the couch ignoring you! (Not this time, anyway.)

First, these folks visited for ten-ish days:

Holly and my boy.

They brought this little bugger, who I am SURE is always plotting my death or hatching a plan to run away even while he's surrounded by people in a locked house. Or both, actually. Simultaneously. He's THAT smart.

Note how one eye looks at you and one eye looks through you.

So we shenaniganned while they were here and writing fell by the wayside--case in point, it took me no less than 100,000 hours to write this.

Also, Valentino and I planned a 50th Anniversary party for these two crazy kids:

Dad and Mum before they were Dad and Mum.

Mum and Dad + 50 years

Valentino and I researched the foods from the '60s and '70s and created an era-specific spread for a casual luncheon, which included, as required by law, fondue and Watergate* salad. And, of course, we served punch in the supercool punch bowl they received as a wedding gift.

But obviously, we're back, at least temporarily--trying to wrap things up and produce blog content and finish the new website before we head to New Orleans for the International Premium Cigar and Pipe Retailers (IPCPR) trade show. Wheeee!



*Best. Food. Ever. Pistachio pudding mix, cool whip, and pineapples. (Also, pecans, but I think it's better without them.) It turns my favorite color. Win-win!

Lord of the Rings, Part the third: You can be jealous now.

n.b.: This post has no sparkles, for the subject itself is very sparkly.

 

Remember in October when this happened? This lovely necklace made of Argentinian silver, gold, and rubies? This gorgeous piece of work designed and created by our friend Hamo, he of Design by Hamo? And just for me? Remember all that?

This is so gorgeous, both here and in person!

Well, for my surprise birthday party--that I had no idea was in the works because Valentino is one sneaky bugger--he (Valentino) asked Hamo to design a matching pair of earrings: 



Be jealous. Be very jealous.
But not for long because you can get your very own--
and with your choice of metals and gems!!

I feel so so SO honored that these are the first of their kind. He invented them just for me!!

They certainly won't be the last of their kind! I am encouraging you to buy some for yourself or your favorite lady because as pretty as they are here? They are one zillion percent better in person. Maybe even a kabillion percent--if kabillion is more than zillion; math is hard. 

OOOOh. Purty...

While you're at work right now, sliding through the Internet because...Tuesday is Monday redux...check out his website. Be warned: You're going to want tons of things, so make sure you don't get fired for Internet surfing. You're going to need your salary so Hamo can create many shiny things for you and your friends. 

 

As an aside, Valentine's (I almost wrote Valentino's) Day is right around the corner! Start shopping now! And start right here!

And don't go thinking, I'm a manly dude.  I don't need any earrings or necklace--at least not currently. Or you're thinking, I want to purchase something for my best guy. That's okay! Hamo can help!  He has amazing stuff for the gentlemen as well. Remember Valentino's ring?

The ring that started it all for us.

Yep.  that's by Hamo. 

He also has cigar bands. And money clips. And cuff links. And bracelets. Manly bracelets. And even some cool stuff with skulls smoking cigars so good they're a little bit scary--but probably not for you because you are so very, very strong and unscared of everything, like Valentino. 

 

Scary!!! (But not to you!)

 

Of course, Hamo's website conveys this information way better than I can. "Today, Design By Hamo has blossomed into a full line of men's and women's cigar-themed rings, cuff links, pendants and accessories with many various stone and metals including ruby, emerald, gold, silver and more."

 

"Jewelry is my love. Cigars are my passion," he said. And this shows in the high quality of his work. How high quality? Valentino wears the ring on the same hand as his Rolex. They look like high-quality kissing cousins. Yep. That good.

What's that? You like those earrings but wish they had emeralds instead of rubies? He will make them for you! Love the ring but would want it with rubies and no gold? He can make it for you! If you meet with him for a consultation, together you can create the jewelry pieces that are perfect for you (or your super-lucky friend).

And guess what!!!  The shopping perfect storm is about to happen, starting in 3...2...NOW!

 

1. Because you are all my BFFs,

 

and 

 

2. Because Hamo is so nice,

 

and 

 

3. Because if you're a BFF of ours

(Valentino and me and the blog, which is a thing in and of itself),

you're a BFF of Hamo's

Hamo will give you a10% discount on your purchases! All you have to do is say you heard about his awesomeness through our super delicious blog. (You don't have to say it that way; just convey the message in a way you're comfortable.) But definitely mention us!

 

Don't tell Valentino, but maybe I have a little secret purchase I'll probably make in the near future--for him, of course!

 

In the meantime, I'm going to go put these earrings back on and gaze lovingly at them. In fact, I'm surprised I've gotten through the whole blog post without going upstairs to check on them!

 

Although I did look at this picture about a hundred times!

So thank you, Hamo, for creating these works of art for me, and thank you, Valentino, for making this the best birthday ever!

They imported my son from West Virginia! Most awesome thing ever!

Awesomesauce.

Once more--just because!
 



 

 

Happy birthday!*

I couldn't choose which one was more favorite.

Then I saw this one, and it is the most favorite:

*Or, as my grandmother always wrote on our cards, "Happy brithday." Oy. Even as a ha'penny,** I knew that was so very very wrong.

**

"If you have no penny,
a ha'penny will do..."

I drew a blank, and then had an epiphany! What to get Holly for her birthday!

As you may remember, I was solely responsible for my own child's corruption, er, leap into the cigar world.

I performed the same service for another person's child: my son's longtime girlfriend.* She fell for the Drew Estate infused cigars when they visited here in August. (Tee hee.) Sorry, not sorry.

For Christmas, we gave her a plethora of Drew Estate ACID dandies. Let me see if I can remember which ones...

Blondies for sure, both sizes (4 x 38 and 5 x 54). I'm a big fan of second-hand smoking these. They're the perfect love child of Bit-O'-Honey candies snogging with Brach's Milk Maid candies.**

Kuba Kuba (5 x 54). This holds a special place in my heart, as my first infused second-hand smoke. Whenever someone mentions any infused cigar, this is where my mind automatically goes. The Drew Estate website says the maduro is a "rich twist on an ACID favorite." And that favorite is delectable, as if you gathered together in one place coffee, hot caramel sauce just as it's made and on the verge of burning but not quite, and a mixture of spices. (The spices scent reminds me of when you open our spice cabinet and all the smells come out together, creating something completely new--so, yeah. Spice.) The poster child for infused cigars, in my mind, anyway.

Toast (6 x 50). I am a big fan of toast--bread in the toaster kind of toast. With butter. And jam. So when someone not too long ago ordered one of these cigars, I briefly dreamt of my favorite midnight snack, Portuguese sweet bread with black cherry jam (jam I made, because I'm that kind of awesome). Know what? I wasn't that far off. Yay me! Now if I could only get Valentino to smoke one at midnight, when I'm craving a snack...***

"It's wafer-thin."****

Wafe (5 x 46). Honestly, I don't know anyone who has smoked these. Let me clarify--I wasn't paying attention if anyone smoked these around me. But! Full disclosure: I like the flat shape. It's cool. Shush. Don't be so judgey. Go take a look. You can't deny its high cool factor.  Famous Smoke says, "It's the savory, sensual aroma of ACID cigars in a thin, wafer-shaped cigar. Prime Nicaraguan tobaccos are meticulously marinated with an ambrosial mix of the finest herbal and botanical essences for a mild and satisfying aromatic smoke." I'm going to need to pick one up so I can see if that's true. ('Cause we're all about truth in reporting here. ::cough cough::)

Nasty (4 x 52). Another I purchased because of the shape--this one (obviously) a short, pyramid-maduro. Rumour has it, chocolate is the key taste here. I guess I'll have to make sure she has one (or ten) next time we see each other. Or I guess I could deem a research project necessary...

And then...

[source]

The one non-ACID player in the box, part of the Natural series: Jucy Lucy (3 x 38). I chose these for her because a friend loves them. (Hi, Alexis!) They're another sweetie-pie, with a little caramel, a bit of chocolate... But their tiny size makes me think of those eensy desserts you get at restaurants nowadays.*****  A couple of bites (or puffs) and the darned thing is kaput. Dangit. Waiter! Another please!

As I'm typing this, I'm wondering what to get her for her birthday. Der.

*As I can barely remember how old he is, there's no way on God's green Earth I'm going to be able to figure out how long they've been together.

**I rarely see either of these candies anymore. Is there an entire generation or two who have never had those stuck in the backs of their teeth while they listen to their Nana tell stories? That seems really sad.

***He's sound asleep as I type this. Damned steroid treatments. I want to wake him up to play with me! Wheee! It's 1:25 am! Going to make some regular toast, I guess.

****A million bonus points if you get the reference.

*****HATE these. Get me a damned piece of cake. Or pie. Or anything not made for a paper doll.

Boom. That's customer service, bitches. (A tutorial)

We had one hell of a customer service day last Friday. Hell in a good way.

After I taught a couple of classes, Valentino and I headed to Mr. J's Havana Shop's tent sale, which was under an actual tent. We love love love the folks there (Hi Paul! Hi Mark! Hi Tom! Hi Nate!) and they helped us pile up huge quantities of awesome sticks and then asked us to pay for them. We did, because we're nice like that. And American Express is nice enough to let us be nice. 

So, yeah. This happened:

I later accidentally fell asleep on the couch
while Valentino played Tetris in the humidor.
I didn't think he'd need to so soon after purchasing
the 2,000-count gorgeous monstrosity, but two months later...yep. Tetris.

 

I'd tell you to go and check out the sale but I'm not going to because 1. By the time I finish writing this, the tent will be packed up until next year, and 2. I don't think there was much left after we left. (Sorry, latecomers!!) [Added: 3. This post has been sitting in the drafts folder for a week. There's a reason I don't work in newspaper journalism--deadlines and timelines are dumb.]

Anyway, after the cigar bonanza, we went to PF Chang's for lunch because someone was crabby and hungry and headachy. (Hint: It was me.). We got the lettuce wraps and Wonton BABS.* The lettuce of the lettuce wraps? Yucky. Limp and brown.**  And who likes that?***

We wept over the limp**** lettuce and asked the server for a better collection of leaves. She was super nice and replaced them. We then happily rolled chicken into lettuce, making lettuce wrap cigars, ha ha, which sounds ridiculous until you taste it.*****

Then! Then the manager came over, apologized for the lousy lettuce, and said, "That's on me." That's how you do it, business folks. We will definitely go back there, rather than the one further away, because he created some serious goodwill. (Why am I feeling the need to use the word "lettuce" ad nauseum? ::shrugs:: You're welcome.)

Then, we trudged to the Apple Store because ugh. People. And kids. And overly enthusiastic salespeople, er, geniuses, er, whatever they're called. And even more people, each and every one of them making a ton of noise. The previous weekend, I did what my Almighty iPhone commanded of me and upgraded to iOS 8. And my camera stopped focusing. I didn't know where to put the Adderall, so we went to the Verizon store. The staff collectively made the "Huh, that's weird" face and sent us to Apple. 

It took over a week to muster up the courage and energy to actually go to the Apple Store, and when we did, we were told we could come back the next day because that was the next appointment. Oh, Saturday afternoon at the Apple Store sounds like a dream come true.******  Oh, and they told us that they'd be happy to replace it for us. For almost $300 dollars. But we needed to come back the next day for someone to make that joyousness happen.

Valentino did the thing he did, which I can't understand or explain,******* and before I knew it, we were in front of a manager who told us we didn't need another appointment and they'd replace the phone at no cost to us. I do have to wait for it to be delivered to the store, because they didn't have any in stock. I'm okay with that, although I never realized how often I use the camera throughout the day until I couldn't.********

Two days later, new phone, with camera! And they said it would be 3-5 days!

Talk about amazeballs customer service, the day's awesomeness didn't end there! After Valentino's Tetris session, we headed to Broadway Cigars.  (Hi Bobby! Hi John! Hi JV!) Bam. We love going there. They treat us like family--although they haven't asked us to help them move or take them to the airport yet, so...almost like family. We'll tell you more about that in a second!! <--I'll even put a link in there, as soon as I write the post!! Done!

::types furiously::

PS:

Let's revisit this picture again for a second.
Some of this may be Christmas presents for someone who is not Valentino.
You'll have to wait and see what you get, mister. No calling dibs on anything.

 

*Big Ass Bowl of Soup

**We're talking about lettuce, people. Lettuce. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

***Answer: No one.

****Not really weeping. Just a spot of despair.

*****It will probably still sound ridiculous, but you will forgive it immediately. 

*****Said no one ever. 

******It's something you have to see to believe. And you can never copy it. My mom says he could charm a starving dog off a meat wagon. 

*******Isn't that always the way?

She blinded me with science! Plus! Deep Dish (but not apple pie!!)

I like Super Dave* and Sarah, Queen of Science.** They are nice, kind, funny, thoughtful people we see on the weekends and sometimes during the week at one of our hangouts.

Dave reminds me a little bit of my boy, so I have a little special place in my heart for him. Sorry, Dave, but not enough that I'm going to sign you up for Cigar of the Month Club too. But so very very close!

Here's what Dave smokes: the Drew Estate Acid Deep Dish, which makes me think of apple pie, which makes me think happy thoughts** Unfortunately, it doesn't smell like apple pie.

[Valentino would like me to point out here--not in a sparkle at the bottom--that deep dish could also mean pizza.  I say, "Shhh. Stop talking," because deep dish pizza? Yuck. I do not like the pizza bones or the 72 cubic tons of cheese on my pizza. And sauce on top of the cheese? What the what? Just...no. So we're going to stick with this image:]

Not this. Boo. [source]

Luckily, I really like what the Deep Dish does smell like, which is fortunate, since I like sitting next to Dave and chatting. What's that? You want to know what it does smell like? Well, there's an underlying sweetness upon which rests hints of coffee and floral undertones. Mmmm. Almost as good as pie!

According to Stogiesontherocks.com, "What I love about these Acid cigars is the fact that they are indeed ‘real’ cigars. If you retrohale them you can pick up the typical flavors you would in a cigar. I was finding this very woody and earthy note on the retrohale that complimented the sweet candied flavor on the lips. It’s actually quite enjoyable. The retrohale wasn’t packed with spice causing my eyes to water. It was a nice full flavored rounded out smoke."

This cigar is lovely. Except it doesn't smell like pie. I call shenanigans!

Drew Estate creates this infused cigar in their Esteli, Nicaragua factory. According to CI, "The Deep Dish is a chunky, 58-ring box-pressed beauty that's been carefully influenced by Drew Estate's proprietary recipe of aromatic herbs and botanicals. The smoke is exceedingly rich in tobacco flavor, thanks to a generous dose of black Nicaraguan long-fillers inside a light, silky-smooth Sumatra wrapper leaf."

As the cigar takes about an hour to smoke, that means I get to enjoy Dave and Sarah's company for a while!

Of course, Sarah is going to be solely responsible for me becoming an alcoholic. Every time I see her, she's requesting another delicious drink that I just have to try and then order my own.  One time, she said we were going to have chocolate cake shots.

I like cake. No, I loooove cake. She had the lovely bartender line up shots of Frangelico, along with a lime and packet of sugar.

"There is no way this is going to taste like a chocolate cake," I said.

"It will! It's science!" she proclaimed. 

So I dipped the lime in the sugar and then sucked on it, keeping the sweet juice on my tongue while I shot the Frangelico. I know my face lit up. "It tastes like chocolate cake!" I said, probably way too loudly.

It's this...but in a shot glass!!! OMG! [source]

"It's science!" she repeated.

Doubting Valentino doubted and so we lined him up with his own. And blammo. "It tastes like chocolate cake," he acquiesced.

"Science!" we all cried! And then ordered another, because...of delicious reasons.



*

Not this Super Dave. And by the way, have you seen recent pictures of this Super Dave?
He went a little heavy on the plastic surgery and Botox. Yikes. ::shivers::

**Obvs, not their real names.

***Did you know the Shakers ate pie for breakfast? True story. Ask my BFF Jame Richards!

The Three Wise Men or: Corruption of my own child, part the third

During my son's visit to the homeland in August, we made it our goal to drag his butt to the places we love. Naturally, that meant a trip to Broadway Cigars. You already know how much we lurrrrrve Bobby and John and JV and the rest of the gang. They've made us feel welcome and at home from the very first time we went there and swiped up all of their Mysteriosos (Mysteriosi?).

The three of us soaked up the humidor's ambiance for way too long, looking for the perfect cigars for that perfect day.* We chose one for Sean, who, as you may remember, is in the early throes of cigar lovin'. But when we came out, Bobby said, "Would you mind if I switch that out for you?" And he produced this for our novice:

You know we love all things Alec Bradley, including Drinnan!!

According to CI, "The [Alec Bradley] Connecticut boasts an array of big-time flavors, all while remaining pleasant and tame in body. Dressed in a seamless Ecuadorian Connecticut shade wrapper, and chock full of Honduran and Nicaraguan long-fillers, Connecticut produces a highly satisfying mild to medium-bodied experience. Plumes of creamy and cool smoke coat the palate as notes of cedar, nuts, and toast enter the fray before ​a slightly sweet finish. It's a lot like a light beer that tastes really damn good."

 

Sean loved its creaminess with a bit of pepper in the background, which got a little stronger as he continued to smoke.  It proved the perfect cigar for our afternoon of hanging with family and friends. 

Hello, old friend!

Valentino went for a San Lotano, already an established favorite. According to the San Lotano website, "The San Lotano Habano by AJ Fernandez is specially blended for the full-bodied cigar fan. By using only premier fillers fermented to perfection, the Habano is strong yet perfectly balanced with a rich and robust flavor leading to a long and memorable finish. Perhaps the most unique aspect of the Habano blend is its rare Cuban seed and ligero wrapper grown only in Brazil by the Fuego family. Containing extremely limited Cuban seed only offered to two factories in Central America, including Tabacalera Fernandez, the Habano is truly an exceptional experience."

This fave started out with rich, cooked sugar and chocolate deliciousness as he lit up.  The sweetness intensified as he smoked on, as did the original hint of coffee. I hate the taste of coffee, but man, oh, man do I love the smell. 

This cigar is one that when he's wondering what to smoke, I say, "Well, how about a San Lotano...?"

 

Hello, new friend!

Bobby, who, keep in mind can smoke anything he wants, chose the Oliva Serie V lancero (7 x 38), "a complex blend of Nicaraguan long filler tobaccos. Blended with specially fermented Jalapa Valley ligero, and finished with a high priming Habano Sun Grown Wrapper."

According to the Oliva website, "This cigar is blended to deliver full body taste while maintaining an unparalleled smoothness. This flavorful blend exhibits complex tobacco with rich coffee and dark chocolate tones. A subtle and well balanced spice is present throughout."

About this cigar, Stogie Guys say, "The flavor of the Lancero, even at the outset, is strong. Not the full-bodied blast of pepper strong that’s common these days. But rather an intense nicotine strong coupled with an old-school taste of warm tobacco." Valentino should never ever ever have this cigar. Anything with really strong nicotine makes his head explode, and I've grown rather fond of that noggin.

Stogie Guys continue, "In addition to nicotine strength and warm tobacco, the Serie V Lancero displays flavors of cocoa, leather, espresso, earth, and a touch of toffee sweetness. It also exhibits good construction, including a reliable draw and a straight burn, albeit with a gray ash that tends to fall off a bit prematurely."

The three of us loved hanging out there--and we might even STILL be there, except a certain someone** was getting the hungry headache and was starting to make the hungry headache face, which is a clear sign that if she doesn't get food in her maw soon,*** people should take cover.



*If it weren't so humid,**** I would live in a humidor.

**I can neither confirm nor deny that it was me, but I will say that it was the one other person sitting on the cozy orange couch with the three wise men.

***We wound up at Caserta Pizza, which we love for all its quirkiness.

****Shut up.


Cuellar Connecticut Kreme: A Great Discovery (Or: Corruption of my own child, part 2)

Things you should know:

1. I don't confuse easily. Except anything to do with math. Math is stupid and I challenge it to a duel.
2. I am on a first name basis with the mighty, mighty internets and am pretty darned good at researching stuff. Except math. Researching math is stupid.
3. Different is cool. Except differential equations because that's math. Differential equations (sons of math) are stupid.
4. I know the font changes in this post. I'm sorry. I tried to fix it. And then I stopped trying because I needed to keep a modicum of sanity.

Keep these things in mind. They're going to come in handy later.

Sean (my son) and Valentino and I were on a bit of a mission* to fill a small humidor for the young one (well, relatively young one). We went with a bunch that we already loved--Nub, J Grotto Silk, My Father Connecticut.... Look! Here's a picture!
 

There were more when he left the house. Hmmm...I wonder what happened...

 
Anyway, the story isn't about that. It's about this...

The cigar with so many names it's almost unfindable
unless you have the correct combination.
Unless, also, you happen to see them in your favorite tobacco shop.

 
In the sea of deliciously dark cigar boxes sat a glossy, heavy-duty white box. Oooh. Shiny. But I was a little apprehensive. It was different. I like different. But was it one of those issues where the packaging made up for an inferior product? Because that happens, as we all know. (I'd give an example, but I don't want to call anyone out, so, yeah. You know what I mean.)
 
But our tobacconists, the incomparable Paul and Mark at Mr. J's assured us the Cuellar Connecticut Kreme by Villiger Cigars was more than just a pretty box. The cigar comes in four sizes--
 
Robusto: 5 x 48
Toro Gordo: 6 x 54
Churchill: 7 x 50
Torpedo: 6 1/4 x 52
 
We purchased three of the four and took the Toro Gordo on the road with us to Federal Hill. There, we took my boy on a tour of the place and ultimately landed at the LaPigna statue at Garibaldi Square. (Yes, we're creatures of habit.)
 
After deciding who would sit on the wet spot of the bench (not me; I'm a girl and as such, am afforded certain benefits thanks to my delicate female sensibilities.**), we settled in and the gentlemen started their butane engines, toasting and lighting.
 
This cigar was launched at the IPCPA in Las Vegas recently, so digging up a ton of research materials proved difficult. Finding a picture of that shiny white box? Impossible, so don't ask. But the things I do for you folks!!! Here are some details!
 
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Connecticut Leaf
Binder: Cuban Seed Piloto Ligero
Filler: Cuban Seed and Criollo 98

We chose this as an addition to the new humidor because of the lightness--our goal wasn't to blast my boy's taste buds into the stratosphere so early in the game.
 

Where I did not want my son's taste buds to go. [source]

The mild choice proved perfect for our new cigar smoker. He said, as he progressed from the first to second third, "It tingled my tongue but then mellowed out."
 
The folks at Cigar Coop had the same experience, but with much more detail. "The start to the Cuéllar Connecticut Krēmē surprised me with black pepper notes right out of the gate. There also was a light 'twang' on the tongue from the pepper notes. I also detected the pepper notes on the retro-hale - something that would be present throughout the cigar experience. Once the pepper subsided, notes of cream and wood emerged. There also was a subtle fruit sweetness in the background."
 
As I experience the second-hand smoke in stereo, I, too, sensed the pepper but also the long-lasting creaminess, which you all know I am a serious fan of inhaling.
 
Our in-house cigar expert, Valentino himself, concurred that this smoke ranked high on his list. "A good breakfast smoke," he said. "A good, smooth entry into the day. Although it's still smooth and wonderful at any time of day."
 
Jack from StogieNet.com said about this cigar, "Smooth is the name of the game....The overall flavor is a creamy smooth woodiness.  Lemon curd, fresh hay, and some grassy notes are in there too.  I have found that grassy notes can be a bit harsh in Connecticut cigars but this cigar is so smooth that the flavor fits perfectly.  A very mild cedar spice, light coffee, and a nice herbal note appear in the middle of the cigar.  Here the creaminess really starts to shine.  There is almost no bite to the smoke at all.  As you can imagine, it is an exceptionally mild cigar...but it does lean higher on the mild scale as you smoke it.  The filler contains 16  year old criollo tobacco, hence the smooth body.  Some caramel,vanilla, nuts, and extremely smooth woody characters pop up towards the end of the cigar.  I am blown away.  It doesn't get hot or harsh at the end either.  Superb smoke all around."
 

I know. Lousy picture. You get the gist.

  
Where does the confusion come in? Don't just ask the mighty, mighty internets for info on Kreme cigars because you will wind up in Krispy Kreme hell.*** And don't look on the Villiger website, because you'll find lots of great info, but not on this baby. This cigar, in fact, has so many varied monikers, and Villiger so many logos, I almost gave up. Almost.
 

 
 
So I went even deeper into the internet and sought out Carolyn with Villiger Cigars. (Thanks, facebook!) She directed me to the Cueller website, which I wouldn't have found in a zillion years! You should totally check it out!
 
I also found this pretty interesting information. "The Cuellar is named for Diego Velázquez de Cuéllar. Velázquez was a Spanish conquistador who sailed with Christopher Columbus on his second voyage to the New World in 1493. He settled in Hispaniola (the island that the Dominican Republic was a part of). Eventually he played an integral role in the conquest of Cuba and by 1515 he was appointed Governor of Cuba. The Connecticut Krēmē is derived from the wrapper (Ecuadorian Connecticut) and the cigar's creamy profile." [source]
 

"Hey! Where are my royalties?"

 
Of course, I also can't find these cigars online anywhere,**** so I can't secretly ship them to my son! Or Valentino!***** But I can head back to Mr. J's and scoop up a handful or two. I'm sure no one will mind. And it won't matter what I call them. I'll just look for the shiny, white boxes.******  
 
  *With shenanigans and sneakiness involved, but that's a post for another day.
 
**Stop laughing, you scoundrel.
 
***Hell because we live in Dunkin' Donuts central, with the head office less than an hour away. No Krispy Kremes anywhere around here. ::weeps::
 
****Although I will admit that I haven't searched very hard and am always looking for an excuse to go to visit our friends at Mr. J's.
 
*****I like to order cigars and ship them to him as a surprise. Tee hee! Although that won't work here, I guess. Dang.
 
******Private joke for Sean and Valentino: Boxen.