All Hail Caldwell Cigars! And the Caldwell Cigars Dude! Huzzah!!

There we were, finally, at Broadway Cigars, one of our favorite places to hang out. Unfortunately on that day, getting there was a chore because...life. First, I was exhausted because working is stupid. Then I was exhausted from going to the Apple Store. (Is anyone ever NOT exhausted after going to the Apple Store?) Then I watched Valentino play Tetris with his loot from the Mr. J's tent sale. It looked a little something like this:


[source]

How can a girl get through the day with all that on her plate?*  So I fell asleep on the couch, trying to literally push away the migraine from behind my eye.** (Sleeping with a finger in your eye isn't nearly as difficult as you'd think!)

"You can stay home," Valentino said kindly, when I awoke like the beautiful, delicate flower that I am. (Shush, you.)

I probably would have taken him up on that offer if I hadn't sent him out on his own the previous weekend. "You go," I'd said, meaning it--not like the romantic partners who say "You go," but mean, "If you step foot out of this house without me, you're going to regret it for the next month, so you damn well better sit back down."*** I meant, "I am going to sit on this couch and watch HGTV until my eyes start bleeding and be happy about it." Because sometimes you just have to.

But! Long live the king beautiful princess! For she had risen! <--Me, in this scenario. And by "risen," I mean off the couch.

Like the trouper my mom created in her own image, I put in my contacts--and even brushed my hair! Oh, the things I do for the people I adore!! Plus!  I was not going to miss the opportunity to meet up with Robert Caldwell, he of Caldwell Cigars!

Wheeeeee!

 I'm so glad I rallied! I've added him to my list of super cool dudes.****

Duuude...

He and Valentino chatted for a good long time about man-things I can't even begin to understand, while I cozied up on one of Broadway's super comfy chairs and wrote furiously but funnily (not an easy combination) while soaking in the delicious cigar scents wafting around me.

Valentino jumped into the fray with the Eastern Standard Cream Crush:

A Churchill, 7 x 48. What's that?
You want to know who the distinguished man on the band is?
Yeah, wouldn't we all...
(Let's call this photo: Tired of Researching because Someone Needs a Snack.)

Let's work our way into that beauty: The wrapper is Connecticut Hybrid from Ecuador, grown in 2006. Below that, the binder is Dominican Habano (2005). Both are holding together the lovely and delicious combination of aged tobacco from the Nicaragua and Dominican Republic--Dominican Criollo '98 Viso (2008), Dominican Corojo Ligero (2006) and Nicaraguan Habano Seco (2007).

According to Robert, “The Dominican Republic is one of those treasures that hides in plain sight. There is so much fantastic tobacco, so unique and with such distinct flavors. Unfortunately, many don’t make it to market. It is impossible. Big brands are limited to the variety of tobaccos they can use due to the quantity of cigars that they have to make. A few bales of tobacco to the big boys is nothing. The purpose of Caldwell Cigars is to go wherever we must to find the most exotic flavors we can." These premium rare tobaccos definitely distinguish the Caldwell Cigars from its peers.

What does this all mean for the smoker--both first- and second-hand? Pure pleasure!

You know this is Crush from Finding Nemo, right?
Please say you knew that and got the reference immediately. [source]

I demanded***** Valentino approach the Throne of Creativity after he toasted and lit this lovely. It definitely lived up to its moniker, exuding creaminess that made me swoon, with undertones of spiciness and tobacco. A hint of cedar loitered just below that level of flavor but was incredibly subtle and satisfying--unlike another cigar I whiffed recently****** that screamed "Hamster cage!"

This is definitely a cigar I'd enjoy second-hand smoking any time of any day--definitely a keeper. As a matter of fact, recently we were in another shop and someone we didn't know was looking for something light and friendly.<--(My interpretation of what he said.) As he was standing right smack dab in front of the Caldwell selection, we recommended the Eastern Standard. He bought it! (You're welcome, Robert!)

In addition to the Cream Crush, the Eastern Standard line also includes the Dark Connecticuts Euro Express (5.5 x 44) and Corretto (5 x 50). Under the Caldwell name also comes the "Long Live the King" and "The King is Dead" lines. Additionally, Caldwell also shops his Seleccion Junior Varsity collection. Naturally, Valentino partook in a nice sampling of both lines, because 1. He likes supporting new and old cigar friends and 2. He likes cigars.

Duuuuuude...



 You have to know by now that I love good friends and kind people and building strong relationships between friends and demanding good customer service, and respecting companies with the same values.  Before we even got to meet the man behind the Caldwell Cigars, I checked out the company website (::cough:: internet stalker ::cough::) and was greeted with this:

"Caldwell Cigars is a company built by friends for friends. We have labored to bring you the finest quality product with great attention paid to every detail. We are setting out to deliver to our customers special cigars using only the finest, most exotic All-Grade-A tobaccos we can find. We are in this for our love of the leaf******* and our drive to share with you the fruits of our labor."

 

As if that weren't enough, the website also proclaims, "Our business model is simple: Good Cigars, Great Friends and A Strong Conscious."

 

You know, that's not too far from my own motto: "Good cigars, great friends, and staying conscious."

The Other Duuuuude. [source]

*Shut up. I'm looking for sympathy. Indulge me?

**You want to party with me. Oh yes you do!

***Apparently this is actually a thing that people do. It makes me have the sad. 

****Yes, this is an actual thing. If you'd like to know if you're on the list, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to...

*****Actual conversation-- Me: T?  Him: Yes?  Me: Can I have some of your wafting flavors? Him: Of course!

******No, I will never tell you what that was because 1. We're a kind and friendly sort here and 2. I don't remember what it was.

*******

Hey! He said the name of the blog IN the blog! [source]

Boom. That's customer service, bitches. (A tutorial)

We had one hell of a customer service day last Friday. Hell in a good way.

After I taught a couple of classes, Valentino and I headed to Mr. J's Havana Shop's tent sale, which was under an actual tent. We love love love the folks there (Hi Paul! Hi Mark! Hi Tom! Hi Nate!) and they helped us pile up huge quantities of awesome sticks and then asked us to pay for them. We did, because we're nice like that. And American Express is nice enough to let us be nice. 

So, yeah. This happened:

I later accidentally fell asleep on the couch
while Valentino played Tetris in the humidor.
I didn't think he'd need to so soon after purchasing
the 2,000-count gorgeous monstrosity, but two months later...yep. Tetris.

 

I'd tell you to go and check out the sale but I'm not going to because 1. By the time I finish writing this, the tent will be packed up until next year, and 2. I don't think there was much left after we left. (Sorry, latecomers!!) [Added: 3. This post has been sitting in the drafts folder for a week. There's a reason I don't work in newspaper journalism--deadlines and timelines are dumb.]

Anyway, after the cigar bonanza, we went to PF Chang's for lunch because someone was crabby and hungry and headachy. (Hint: It was me.). We got the lettuce wraps and Wonton BABS.* The lettuce of the lettuce wraps? Yucky. Limp and brown.**  And who likes that?***

We wept over the limp**** lettuce and asked the server for a better collection of leaves. She was super nice and replaced them. We then happily rolled chicken into lettuce, making lettuce wrap cigars, ha ha, which sounds ridiculous until you taste it.*****

Then! Then the manager came over, apologized for the lousy lettuce, and said, "That's on me." That's how you do it, business folks. We will definitely go back there, rather than the one further away, because he created some serious goodwill. (Why am I feeling the need to use the word "lettuce" ad nauseum? ::shrugs:: You're welcome.)

Then, we trudged to the Apple Store because ugh. People. And kids. And overly enthusiastic salespeople, er, geniuses, er, whatever they're called. And even more people, each and every one of them making a ton of noise. The previous weekend, I did what my Almighty iPhone commanded of me and upgraded to iOS 8. And my camera stopped focusing. I didn't know where to put the Adderall, so we went to the Verizon store. The staff collectively made the "Huh, that's weird" face and sent us to Apple. 

It took over a week to muster up the courage and energy to actually go to the Apple Store, and when we did, we were told we could come back the next day because that was the next appointment. Oh, Saturday afternoon at the Apple Store sounds like a dream come true.******  Oh, and they told us that they'd be happy to replace it for us. For almost $300 dollars. But we needed to come back the next day for someone to make that joyousness happen.

Valentino did the thing he did, which I can't understand or explain,******* and before I knew it, we were in front of a manager who told us we didn't need another appointment and they'd replace the phone at no cost to us. I do have to wait for it to be delivered to the store, because they didn't have any in stock. I'm okay with that, although I never realized how often I use the camera throughout the day until I couldn't.********

Two days later, new phone, with camera! And they said it would be 3-5 days!

Talk about amazeballs customer service, the day's awesomeness didn't end there! After Valentino's Tetris session, we headed to Broadway Cigars.  (Hi Bobby! Hi John! Hi JV!) Bam. We love going there. They treat us like family--although they haven't asked us to help them move or take them to the airport yet, so...almost like family. We'll tell you more about that in a second!! <--I'll even put a link in there, as soon as I write the post!! Done!

::types furiously::

PS:

Let's revisit this picture again for a second.
Some of this may be Christmas presents for someone who is not Valentino.
You'll have to wait and see what you get, mister. No calling dibs on anything.

 

*Big Ass Bowl of Soup

**We're talking about lettuce, people. Lettuce. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

***Answer: No one.

****Not really weeping. Just a spot of despair.

*****It will probably still sound ridiculous, but you will forgive it immediately. 

*****Said no one ever. 

******It's something you have to see to believe. And you can never copy it. My mom says he could charm a starving dog off a meat wagon. 

*******Isn't that always the way?