Fore! Eight, actually, in a lovely box. Plus two more to smoke!

So there we were, sitting at the cigar lounge when someone mentioned that Davidoff Cigars had put out a special edition in honor of the Masters.*

 

"The new Davidoff Golf Limited Masters Edition has been created by Davidoff Masterblenders with moments of shared golf pleasures in mind." [source] It's also like they had my very own golfer in mind.

Put "Limited Edition" on anything and Valentino will want it--and of course I'll buy it for him--or at least I'll want it very badly until I get distracted by something else. Like air. He, however, will not forget.  

 

Oh Davidoff, you wily buggers.
You had me at Limited Edition.

Want to know what's in the white piano lacquer box?

 

Two different formats, which have been crafted with eight-year-old typical Dominican filler tobaccos: Piloto Volado, San Vicente Visus, Piloto Visus Hybrid and Corojo/Olor Seco. [source]

Wrapper:         Ecuador Connecticut
Binder:            Dominican Criollo
Filler:               Piloto Volado, San Vicente Visus, Piloto Visus
Hybrid:            Corojo/Olor Seco
Aroma:            Rich
Format:           Toro (54 x 6)
Format:           Robusto (52 x 5)

According to the Davidoff website, "The beautifully crafted cigar box, finished in a white piano lacquer, opens like a book. It boasts 4 toros and 4 robustos.

"Moreover, in order to highlight this very special Davidoff Golf Limited Masters Edition, all toros and three out of the four robustos feature an exclusive 'Golf' second ring.

"The second ring in gold on the last robusto serves to reward and honor the winner."

Because I've met my guy,*** I knew no one would ever actually smoke the ones in the box (under the threat of death). So I purchased two of the Course sticks, one for him and one for Caballero #2. The minute Valentino lit up that toro, he scowled at me for giving the other one away.

 

I shrugged.** And then I went online and bought more.

 

Speaking of golf, we were at a cigar dinner sponsored by a local Masonic chapter and of course there was a raffle and of course we won...

 

Most awesome (blurry) photo by moi.

This is the Masters winner, Jordan Spieth

In a perfect world,

he will sign both this and the Davidoff box.

We should invite him for dinner!

He doesn't even need to bring a Sharpie!

 

 

Anyway, these Davidoff babies aren't as rare (yet) as I expected, with 7,500 boxes created, so a quick internet search could set you up right quick, but you shouldn't tarry, lest you lose out. Then you will have the sad.

 

Don't have the sad.

 

 

 

*That's golf, in case you didn't know.

 

**Really, what more could I do?

***Hahaha

Words of Wisdom #77

[source]

"A fine cigar is like a fine woman. They come in all shapes and sizes.
Treat them tenderly and lovingly.
Caress their skin, admire their beauty, fondle them with reverence.
Bring them slowly to your lips, enjoy their flavor, their aroma.
Contemplate their essence, their dependability, and forgive them their weaknesses - if there be any.
Revel in the rituals, their simplicity and their enduring meanings.
Do these things, my son, and the blessings of life shall always be upon you."

-Prince Sined Yar Maharg

 

 

 

NOTE: I've been holding on to this quotation for ages. While I love it (and others by the same man), I was unwilling to share until I found out who Prince Sined Yar Maharg actually was. After what feels like days of searching (off and on, not continuous days), I've given up. The only references I can find say "Prince Sined Yar Maharg of famed Xanadu."

 

All his quotations are too modern for him to be from Xanadu (Shangdu), China, the summer capital of Kublai Khan's Yuan empire.

Perhaps from Coleridge's poem about Xanadu? Nope.

The bright feature on the surface of Saturn's moon Titan? Hope not.

Any of the many homes and malls named Xanadu? ::shakes head::

The Olivia Newton John movie? Oh god I hope not.

The video game? I wouldn't know, but probably not.

 

A few famous Mahargs lurk on the internet, most notably Billy Marharg, who was involved in the 1919 Chicago Black Sox Scandal.

 

But did you know Sined Yar Maharg spelled backwards is Denis Ray Graham? Oh jeez. I quit. Enjoy the quotation.



Cigar Lounge Manners: Use your inside voice when inside

Why are you yelling?

WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

You know we can hear you, right? You're not trying to get our attention across the bleacher section of Fenway Park. You are less than a foot from me in a cigar lounge with jazz playing lightly in the background and the ballgame on mute. The person you're yelling at (through my brain) is two feet away, leaning in and staring right at you.

Yes, we get you're excited about whatever you're saying. (The actual words are distorted and nonsensical because they're So. Effing. Loud.)

You haven't been here long enough to be the in-house loud, obnoxious drunk (yet).

SO WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

Please.
[source]

Are you dying for attention? That's probably not the way to get it. Actually, you're getting attention--just not the right attention.

I reach into my bag and retrieve three Advil. You don't get the hint, but I guess guys like you don't live in a world of subtlety.

I lean way back. Nothing changes.

I get up and move away, needing a break. And you lean even closer to that poor soul, while maintaining the same decibel level. I should rescue him. He is my beloved, after all.

Maybe I'll wait for the Advil to take effect first, so I don't stab you in the voice box with a cocktail straw. Not that anyone would blame me...

In fact, I'd probably hear the roar of the crowd, as if David Ortiz just hit a grand slam.

[source]

Where we will be: LFD (I like the way that rhymes)

This Friday, May 29 at 6:00p.m.,* we'll be heading over to hang with our pals at Broadway Cigars in Providence, RI for a La Flor Dominicana (LFD) shindig.

LFD Guru John Gallogly will certainly have some awesome deals and swag...because he always does! (As I write this, I am wearing my LFD t-shirt from another event where we accidentally purchased a bunch of cigars. By ACCIDENT!) Here's a recap from the last LFD at Broadway.

Also, he is a master of the selfie--or selfie and Penny:

One of the few pics you'll ever see of me on here.

And the folks at Broadway are kings in the land of raffles, so make sure you stick around for that as well!

[source]

AND! Rumor has it, there will be some delicious eats from Roma on Federal Hill. (But probably no dessert. There's never any dessert at cigar events, never mind delicious dessert. Boys are dumb.**)

So, we can expect to see you there?

Okay, fine. Yes, Will will be there as well. I just searched for a photo of John and the little owl...and can't find one. That must be remedied quickly! In the meantime, please enjoy this pic of John with Valentino!

*Here's where Valentino and I continuously battle: I say this is a suggestion; he hates hates hates being late for anything. If we're ever late, assume it's my fault; I probably got distracted by a piece of glitter. Or hated my hair.

**Which is why I usually have Ring Dings or other delicious snacks in my bag. If you ask nicely...

Cigar Lounge Manners: Clean up after yourself

Whether you're sitting at the bar, standing at the bar, or settled into a cozy chair, guaranteed there's an ashtray nearby. Use it.

If by some chance your ash abandons ship prematurely, swoop the runaways into a nearby ashtray. This will take you fifteen seconds at the most.

This is an ashtray. Look how nicely it holds cigars.
It is equally talented at holding the cigar's ashes.

We understand that maybe you didn't realize. If that's the case, no harm, no foul.

However, spread your ashes around like rice (or birdseed) at a wedding and you're going to get a reputation--and not a good one. Yes, you will become, "That guy."

If you're okay with this moniker and all that accompanies it, you'd damn well better tip the bartender well for cleaning up after you. If you don't overtip, as you should, then your service is going to get worse and worse as the visits pass. Plus, no one will talk to you. It's their house you're messing up.

Cigar lounge regulars are like a family. They care about each other and take care of each other. You wouldn't go into someone's house and start making a mess, so don't do it at the cigar lounge either.

Speaking of ashtrays, look over there to the right (if you're on a computer; it doesn't show up on a mobile device).. You can win one. Just sign up for our newsletter/blog updates!

Where we will (may) be: Smokey Pilgrim Cigar Festival

But even if we can't get there, you should definitely go to the Smokey Pilgrim event!

(We're still trying to figure out how to be in two places at once.)

On Saturday, June 13, 2015 from 3:00-8:00 (p.m., obviously), in good old Plymouth, MA,* an awesome group of folks is putting on quite the cigar herfing shindig.

The whole event is being sponsored by our SuperFriend John Brandt at Old Firehouse Smoke Shop. (Hi John!) Remember him and his cool pup Wyatt?

Each attendee will receive:

• 8 Premium Cigars--keep reading for the cigar sponsors!
• Official Smokey Pilgrim t-shirt!
• 2 drinks!
• Dinner!

So you're definitely getting waaay more than the $80 ticket price! Waaaay more! Oh, and you can purchase tickets here!

Those cigar sponsors? How's this for a lineup:

• 7-20-4 (Hi people we don't know yet!)
• La Flor Dominicana (Hi Litto! Hi John! Hi Jon!)
• MLB Cigar Ventures (Hi people we don't know yet!)
• J. Grotto Cigars (Hi Paul!)
• Leaf by Oscar (Hi Jim!)
• Asylum Cigars (Hi Tom!)
• Casa Magna (Hi people we don't know yet!)
• E.P. Carrillo (Hi Edgar!)

Plus! This event, while super fun, is a fundraiser at heart, raising money for Cigars for Warriors and the Young America Club.**

*Yes, Plimoth, where the Pilgrims landed. Unless they didn't land there, which Nathanial Philbrick discusses in his awesomely cool book Mayflower.***

**The Young America Club is a non-profit community based organization located in Plymouth Massachusetts. Founded in 1910 by Portuguese-Americans, the club has been providing local men with a place to socialize and network with friends and family within the community.

***As an aside, because you know I love asides, my Mayflower-travelling ancestor is Richard Warren, a London Merchant Adventurer, which sounds incredibly fun.

He'd fit right in today with that beard!

When the cat is away...the mouse will buy him presents.

When Valentino is away, I miss him. So I buy him things.

One time, I got him this:

The Exterminator Deer Call

Another time, I got him this:

I got him other stuff too, but this was most notable.

This past trip, while he fished in Kentucky with Caballero #2, I bought him this:

A rare find! (I'm a great cigar shopper!)

Actually, this box of Double Ligero and I found each other serendipitously. There I was, waiting for my students to finish a writing assignment so I flipped through Facebook. There, on one of the many groups of which I am a member, was the sale of these La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Oscuro Naturals from 2008.

Usually when I see cool things like this, the deadline is a million years away and I forget about it.* Or I've just missed the deadline by five minutes. (Luckily, the forgetfulness softens the blow of disappointment.)

This time, however, while Valentino sent me pictures of the fish he'd caught, I figured other guys on the Facebook group would swoop in and swipe these babies. Then I resumed teaching my class.

Many, many fish.
Too many fish, you could say.
That's what I would say.
That's what I DID say.

Lo and behold, seems while I was shaping the minds of America's youth, I was simultaneously winning the auction by Sam of Fine Ash Cigars.** Unfortunately, I can't keep a secret, so I told him as soon as I won and paid.***

And he said, "I know. I saw that you won on Facebook. I assumed they're for me."

Damn, damn, McDammit. Stupid internet.

As an aside, you should definitely check out Fine Ash, located in Avondale, AZ because 1. Sam's fantastic, 2. Their customer service is top-notch, and 3.You can get the coolest things there, like this:


We have many boxes.
(They are sold out now.
But they have many, many
 other limited releases!)

Or this, which came two days later:


Beauuuuuteeeful.

After the 2008 batch, these cigars weren't released until 2013. Of course I didn't know this when I bought them, although now that I know, I seem quite prescient.

When Valentino FINALLY came home, and FINALLY had time to smoke one, he was hap- hap- happy! And then sad sad sad because of the box of ten, having given one to Caballero #2, meant he only had EIGHT left. He wept openly--and who can blame him?

Proof that one was sacrificed.
::weeping::

Of course I felt the need to research during the writing process and found from Halfwheel.com, "Like the other uniquely shaped La Flor Dominicana offerings, it requires a specially skilled roller to create such a long cigar that is consistent and burns without problems. [Litto] Gomez compares it to the Salomones, Mysterios**** and Diademas as far as the difficulty level" [source].

According to Atlantic Cigars, "Litto Gomez, deciding to push the envelope, doubled the amount of ligero found in many cigar blends, including his own LFD Ligero, in order to create the La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero. These cigars are packed with the finest ligero tobaccos from Gomez's La Canela farm in the Dominican Republic and wrapped in either a sun-grown Ecuadorian Natural or a dark Ecuadorian Maduro wrapper leaf. La Flor Dominicana's Double Ligero continues to be one of the most popular choices for cigar smokers who enjoy full-bodied smokes full of rich earth and spicy flavors."
Also during the course of researching, I may or may not have found another box of 2008 and I may or may not have already purchased those 9 x 47 cigars. And he wasn't even away hunting or fishing or anything! Dammit. I should save them for his next trip.

Except I already told him.

::headbar::


*Because if you've learned nothing else about me, you've learned I have a short attention span.

**And people say I can't multitask...

***Idiot.

****A personal favorite, by the way.