Tuesday, April 5, 2016

The Man who Came to Dinner--and brought cigars!

If you've been reading this little blog long enough, you know that not only do I play a wallflower on TV,* I'm also one in real life. In fact, my superpower is invisibility. Unless I think of something funny to say, although even then, I generally can't exeunt off stage quick enough.

Ever meet someone who intimidates you from afar** but when you*** talk to them you just like them and they aren't intimidating at all? (The initial intimidation comes from an outgoing, usually well-known person who triggers my inability to sound like the smart and funny girl my mom says I am.)

Me, when trying to speak with someone in authority or an expert in a field.
That just (and by "just," I mean a month ago, because I'm me) happened. There we were, standing in the buffet line, when Valentino started chatting with Dan Welsh, he of L'Atalier, who was strategically standing on the line outskirts.****

He wasn't very pointy when we saw him;
neither was he followed by two logos floating over his head.

Now keep in mind, I am literally starving at this point, not having consumed much of anything all day (Raisinets! The chorus line of candies!) and if I don't get to that food soon, people will die. Or I will fall asleep. It's always a crapshoot. 

When Valentino and Dan started chatting about the land fertility in the Nicaraguan Jalapa Valley versus in Esteli, I wanted to stay and listen. Not intimidating at all! Just...nice. And kind. And knowledgeable! (Wicked smaht to my fellow New Englanders.)

A veritable Sophie's Choice occurred. Do I stay, listening, learning, and disappointing the getting-angry line-dwellers? Or do I abandon conversation, full-steam***** ahead?

You've met me, so you know I went for the food, but the fact that I THOUGHT about not going for the food says a LOT!

Here's a little about The Man who (almost) Made Me Forget about Food:
Way back in about 2011, some chaps cooked up a cigar caper; seekrits ran amuck with whispers of surrogacy. None of this made any sense until the Surrogate Cigar line was born, delivered in the My Father Cigars factory in Nicaragua. 

Right around that first birthday, the chaps--Dan Welsh (obviously), Sean "Casper" Johnson, who is no relation to... brothers K.C. Johnson and Pete Johnson, who round out the gang--created a bigger world in which the Surrogates would live. And they called it L’Atelier Imports. (L'atelier means "workshop" in French.)

You know how sometimes you would love to have those limited edition sticks your pals wave around, hoping to rev up your jealousy? (Don't you hate it when it works and even more than wanting that cigar, you'd love to accidentally throat-punch that pal? If it makes you feel better, most of those guys won't actually smoke the cigar because it is limited.)

Well, the Surrogate cigar family, premium in nature and awesome in execution, allows you to have your limited edition and smoke it too, thanks to a more budget-conscious price point. (You can still throat-punch the guy if you'd like. We won't tell.)

Yes, delicious; yes, wallet-friendly. But you know why I--the girl who adores words--love them, right? Have you tried the Skull Breaker? Bone Crusher? Tramp Stamp? Crystal Baller? Satin Glove? Animal Cracker? Cracker Crumbs? Oh, the cleverness abounds!
The company has lots of awesomeness I could tell you about, but we both have limited attention spans, so here's some info on the newest Animal Cracker in the box:

In March, L’Atelier Imports introduced "a new line extension to its Surrogates Animal Cracker blend. The Surrogates Animal Cracker AC550 will add a traditional 5 x 50 sized offering into the popular line.The AC550 becomes the third vitola based on the Animal Cracker blend. The announcement of this new size was reported by New Havana Cigars – the retail outlet owned by Dan Welsh," according to Cigar Coop

Here's a video, because I know you're bored at work and you're almost ready for cat videos. Check this out first. Then may we suggest this? And on your way home from work, stop and pick up some Surrogate cigars. You can leave your "thank you" in the comments section tomorrow. (You're welcome!)

Got to go! We're heading to another of these fab dinners. This time with Steve Saka. I should probably have a snack before we leave!

*Not true. The very nature of the wallflower  keeps me from being on TV. 

**afar joke

***Valentino, not ME, silly. Didn't you read the first paragraph?

****Look, honey, it's that nice cigar man. 

*****This is the correct usage. I saw this in a magazine advertisement the other day and it said, "Full speed ahead."  Dear god, have you no copy editors with fully-functioning brains???


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