Cigar of the Month Giveaway or: Mutiny and the Bounty

Annnnd, we're back--from CigarFest, that is.

6:00 a.m. Doors open at 10:00 a.m.

We have lots to tell you, and many, many pictures to show you (although if you follow us on Instagram*, you can see all the pics as they pop)!

The waiting really is the hardest part.

Although with this set-up, not as difficult as you'd think.

Housemates

The whole motley crew (not the band)

The crew on the verge of entering. We were so close...
and yet so far (from all the awesome)

Inside CigarFest from the Drew Estate section

 

Part of the first day's cigar collection

After the first day, I started to worry about where we were going to put everything (above) upon our return home.

Naturally, I'm going to give a minute portion away as thanks for reading our blog, for putting up with our shenanigans, and because where the F am I going to put all this!?!?

Here's the bounty!

As Valentino reads this, he's right now in the throes of heart palpitations. He hates giving his stuff away. I love giving his stuff away.** He may be captain of this ship, but as first mate, I call for a (temporary) mutiny! So...several winners--an no, you don't get to pick what you want. And NO, you aren't getting the Feral Flying Pigs or the Angels Shares lurking in the background there. (After all, I don't want to give the poor guy an ACTUAL heart attack!)

How can you enter? Check out the Rafflecopter below! Jump through the hoops and you could be a winner!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*Follow us at @thecigargal on Instagram and @cigargal on Twitter.

**Technically, it's OUR stuff.

5 things about... Smoking multiple cigars in one outing

Maybe you're a cigar-a-day kind of smoker. Or cigar-a-week fella. Or a whenever-I-get-a-damn-moment-to-myself smoker. But remember that time you herfed all day and wanted to barf your guts up afterwards? Or some of your faves weren't so fave during the run. Check out these five things that may make those situations better:

You say "Eff you and your stupid rules, Penny." That's totally fine and when you return to admit defeat, we'll try not to look too smug.  Try. 

 

5. Start your day's smoking feast with a light cigar to awaken your palette. If you prefer starting with a metaphorical gut punch, that's fine, but when you shift to that milder cigar, your taste buds will shrug and say, "That's cute, but I'm getting nothing from it."

 

4. Unless! Yes, there's an "unless." If you have a new-to-you cigar you've been coveting and finally today's the day to light that sucker up, start with this new one.

 

Imagine: A new adult beverage comes into your life. You fall instantly in love, proclaiming this your forever and always drink.

 

 

 Around the tail end of the second or the beginning of the third drink or cigar (or date, if you got the implied metaphor), you decide, Meh, maybe not that great after all. With the first drink or the new cigar, your taste buds are all, "Hey sailor, come here often?" But if they've already spent time in another taste-damaging relationship, save the new cigar for another time.

 

3. Have some food or snacks nearby--even a couple pieces of chocolate will help to kick nicotine's ass.

 

While at IPCPR (International Premium Cigar and Pipe Retailers convention) earlier this week, Valentino returned to the room clammy and shaky. The first we attribute to New Orleans' humidity index of one zillion, the second from a deceptively strong cigar he'd taken for a “quick” smoke. Upon returning, he upended the Reese's Pieces bag into his mouth. Moments later, he returned to the captivating and charming man we all know and love. Before the Reese's though? Not so much.

 

2. Don't quickly puff through premium cigars to get to the next! It's not a race, so don't do what a certain person might do (or did today) with perfectly-cooked sweet potato fries. Please don't nom-nom-nom your cigar. Remember the very essence of cigar smoking--the relaxation, reflection, and community. Don't puff like Thomas the Tank Engine.

 

Probably too many for one day.

 

1. Don't be surprised if for a few days after a cigar binge, even thinking about cigar smoking makes you throw up in your mouth. On our drive home from CigarFest this year, as Caballeros #2 and #3 continued chain-smoking, our hero abstained and (temporarily) regretted our 520 new cigars, the mention of which turned his skin a nice puce.

 

The others openly mocked him, but during a soon-after Gathering of Merry Men, one caballero casually mentioned his inability to smoke for the week following the MegaHerf. (The other is inhuman and didn't have any problems continuing his pace.)

BONUS: Some signs you've probably done too much cigar smoking in a short period of time:

• Nausea
• Sweatiness*
• Lightheadedness

Please note, these are also the signs of falling in love, so double check the number of cigars you've smoked during the day. Less than three over the course of a day but with the same feelings? You may be enmeshed in the L-word.**

 

Or you have the flu.

 

 

 

*Unless you're in New Orleans, where I'm writing this.  If you're sweating here, chances are you're human. New Orleans is motherfucking hot.

 

**The other L-word. Love, for heaven's sake.

It's not a circus; it's a Cigarnival!

You already know how much I dig...

...and not just because they take my word collections and share them with the world, although that doesn't hurt.

Here's some new stuff on iROBUSTO, this time about Cigarnival, the massive shindig hosted by Famous Smoke this past weekend.* Consider me the ghost writer of these pieces--and no, not because I don't have a tan yet this summer and am ghostly white.**

Anyway, check out these five stories, below. All photos blatantly swiped from iROBUSTO.


"The Biker Chef: Big Swole"

"Consuelo Gomez Rolling at Cigarnival"

"Legend Cigars with John Starks"

"Perdomo Wins Shirt Battle"

"Alec Bradley American Classic Garage"

I'm going to start saving now*** so we can whoop it up next year with Caballero #2, a regular at this event.


*I KNOW I haven't gotten around to writing about May's CigarFest yet, although here's a video:

Anyway, stop  pressuring me. I'll get to it. Remember how a few weeks ago I wrote about the LFD football cigars and the SuperBowl? So yes. Plenty of time.

**And by tan, I mean a collection of freckles getting together giving the illusion of an actual tan. Let's just refer to that bit of crazy as my Irish tan, okay?

***Hahahaha.

July Cigar of the Month: Perdomo! (Thanks, Two Guys Smoke Shop for the story)

First and foremost,

Congratulations to Miguel and Jon, pals from the Twitter,
who were chosen by the almighty Rafflecopter

and will soon receive a bunch of goodies from us and Ashton Cigars!
(And yes, we said we'd have something for a random commenter.
We're working on that! Don't worry!)

Second and secondmost,
You're going to have to read the story to find the link to the contest.
Bwah hahahaha!

Did you know this is the 12th monthly giveaway? Did you know that means we've been forcing our words upon you for a year? You're welcome. Or: We're sorry.

One of my all-time best friends Jack (also known as J. North Conway), recently signed a deal for some Hollywood-types to make his book Queen of Thieves into a television series.

Jack's most recent book.

Jack's also a fan of Perdomo Cigars, so I thought it apropos we bundle his book with some of his favorite cigars:

 

The four cigars on the right came from a Perdomo event
held at Cigars International in Hamburg, PA before CigarFest.
The other one, I swiped from the humidor when Valentino wasn't looking!

This match-made-in-delicious-cigar-smoke is also very very serendipitous, as a couple of weeks ago we headed to New Hampshire for a Perdomo, Pistols, and Pizza event, organized by David Garafolo, head honcho of Two Guys Smoke Shop.

I know we've chatted about how awesome and gracious Nick Perdomo and his family are, but I'm going to repeat it and you can't stop me: Nick Perdomo and his family are some of the most kind and gracious people on the planet.

So even though we were literally* out of our element, being in a different state and all,** he and David and Barry Stein (Hi Barry!) made us feel super welcome. We'd wanted to actually go to the sponsoring shop, but the day got away from us and we went running running running to be there in time. That means we're going to have make another trip north. Oh, the things we do for you in the name of research and semi-truth*** in reporting.

[Pretend there's a really cool video here highlighting the event. I tried and tried and couldn't upload it and then decided it was causing more stress than I could handle. So I moved on with my life. Of course that means you don't get to see the video. Sorry!]

And then we shot things on a shooting range. (Yes, we brought part of our arsenal to shoot as well.) And then had pizza. Soooo...awesome day!

(L to R) Perdomo Rep Roy Kirby,
Two Guys Smoke Shop Owner David Garafalo,
and Man of the Hour Nick Perdomo.
[photo swiped from David's Facebook page]

For realz, Two Guys Smoke Shop has tons of fantastic events. Before you go check them out, though, enter this month's contest: a Rafflecopter giveaway

You'll be glad you did! <---Because then we'll be internet BFFs.

And check out Jack's other books, one of which has been optioned (to be made into a movie) by Jeremy Renner. You'll be glad you did! <---Because then we'll be book BFFs.




*

Oh Archer, why must you be so awesome?

**Although technically we were about 15 minutes from the state line.

***Look, I write fiction (that's the made-up one, not the true one). Anything for a good story (which is why I decided to stop writing for an actual newspaper--back in the day when truth was key to reporting).

A Very Perdomo Weekend or: I finally got some mashed potatoes and all was right with the world.

We've long been fans of Perdomo cigars. Remember this? (There's other stuff you would be able to remember if I'd actually written about things rather than keeping them in the drafts folder, unfinished. Maybe someday I'll get to them. Or not.)

During our CigarFest bonanza weekend, we were continuously Perdomoed.* That's a good thing. No, that's a great thing!

On the first full day of our** trip, we went to the Cigars International Bethleham (PA) store for a Perdomo event.

Nick and Valentino whooping it up at the CI event.

 

Nick and his sales gurus promoted the new Small Batch, which Valentino loved and made off with a box of the Connecticut blend. (The cigar also comes in Maduro and Sun-Grown.)

[source]

 

Just so you know...All three come in four sizes: Half-corona (4 x 46), Rothschild (4 1/2 x 50), Belicoso (5 x 54), and toro Especiala (5 1/2 x 54).

The Perdomo folks say the Connecticut offers “a rich smoke with a creamy complexity, slight hints of caramel and cedar, with a smooth, elegant finish.” I'm nodding enthusiastically.

From the Perdomo press release:

The Perdomo Small Batch Series takes “small batch” to the next level. Hand‐crafted from a rare collection of 10 year aged tobaccos, the Perdomo Small Batch Series is carefully blended with smaller leaves that have the perfect balance of flavor, strength, and aroma. Perdomo has created this stunning line of small premium hand‐crafted cigars by combining the finest bourbon barrel aged wrappers with these rare and exquisite 10 year aged filler tobaccos.

Limited to 3,000 boxes, the Small Batch cigars were magically created at Tabacalera Perdomo in Estelí, Nicaragua. You know how I get antsy about limited editions and how I worry Valentino won't be able to smoke what he wants because they're gone.

I, however, was more enchanted by the new salomon. Here's a picture, but more about that cigar is coming...



Before dinner treat--keep reading!

Then we went to Cigars International's CigarFest in Split Rock, PA.

Shenanigans ensued, including this:

Valentino would like me to Photoshop his eyes open.
Of course I won't, because I don't know how.
So pretend his eyes are open.
See? Way easier than Photoshop!

On the last full day of our adventure, exhausted from days and days of cigar craziness, we decided to eat a real meal while sitting down and being served. (This was my idea. I was feeling needy--for mashed potatoes.) I grabbed one of those salomons for each of the three men and we headed to  Louis Prime Steakhouse--chosen because they had an outdoor smoking area and we had some cigars for smoking. (And mashed potatoes.)

And who happens to be sitting at the next table? These folks:

The very awesome, very gracious Perdomo family.
(Yes, I stole this from Nick's Facebook page.)

Nick graciously offered us 20th Anniversary Maduros (which of course we accepted, because...der). Those were for later.

Our meal would start with the Perdomo Double Aged 12 Year Vintage Salomones (6 1/8 x 50/60) we'd purchased at CI.*** (Valentino said I couldn't have mashed potatoes for an app.)

"Nick has outdone himself this time around, shelling out three separate blends that each lay claim to 12-year-old, exquisitely fermented tobacco leaves" reported CI. "Dressed in Connecticut, Sun Grown, and Maduro wrappers, Double Aged 12-Year Vintage has a selection for every cigar lover out there. All of the tobaccos in each blend – wrapper, binder, and filler – go through an extensive 'double aging' process. They are bale-aged for ten long years before moving on to barrel-aging in charred, white oak bourbon barrels for the next two years, resulting in a refined product that’s brimming with flavor. This process ensures that the crop from 2001 has impeccable color, texture, aroma, and flavor."

Note the missing three.
Or the spot where the three used to be.

When I had originally pulled the cigars for each of them, Valentino gave me the "What are you doing?" look that I get frequently--because most of the time I really have no idea what I'm doing. But this time, I was looking to give away his very precious cigars. We both knew what I was doing.

But sitting there at dinner in the company of greatness--both the man and the cigars--Valentino said, "This was a really good idea."  I'd have bowed in agreement but 1. I was sitting, so I would have banged my head on the table (embarrassing!) and 2. I don't really like to draw attention to myself.

Of course in the process of not drawing attention to myself, I announced on Facebook where I was and what I was doing, tagging all the usual suspects, as well as Nick and Janine Perdomo. A short time later, Nick approached our table and said, "Are you Penny?"****

Busted. So much for my incognito-ness. ::shakes fist at internet and Facebook::

As I finish writing this, Valentino is coming to the end of this cigar:

Obvs, I didn't take this picture.

.... and I'm reminded that I started writing this while clad in my new Perdomo shirt, also my new favorite shirt, a gift with purchase for buying those delicious, well-timed salomones.

Cigars and Swag! But the shirt is my favorite.

 

*That's a fabulous word that I just invented. It means "being washed over with kindness, generosity, and class." You're welcome to use it. 

**"Our" throughout the story is Valentino, Caballero #2, and Honorary Caballero Mike. He should probably get a badge or sash or something.

***If you must know, three boxes may have been purchased, since only eight nestle into the box.

****I'm sure I responded, but it was probably some kind of gurgling idiot-speak, as I have a difficult time communicating like an adult. Or a human for that matter.

May Cigar(s) of the Month: CigarFest stuff!

First, congrats to Matt, who won last month's giveaway!

Nothing got done on time, what with CigarFest and the end of the semester coinciding, so in order to give the next sponsor the full month's worth of Wahoo!, we're going to lay down and beg forgiveness in making you wait.

So we went to that lovely event,* and brought home this:

That's 520 cigars right there. No, you don't get them all.

and this:

No, you don't get all of it. Sorry!

Again, you may not have all of it. But we'll put some of the loot together, and that will be your prize for entering this month's giveaway.

How do you get in on this looting?  This:

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Okay then! Happy entering!

I'll be over here napping until the drawing, exhausted from all. the. things.



*CigarFest, not the end of the semester, although that was pretty darned awesome in and of itself.

You've been warned: This week's iRobusto column*

You should go here and read more of my words. This time, the words come together to tell you how to avoid the stinkeye at the cigar lounge.

You're welcome.



Click on the picture for more words by other people, who are just as cool as me.

*And by "this" week, I mean LAST week. But we were at CigarFest and nothing I'd planned on doing got done. Well, except collecting huge quantities of cigars. Yeah, that got done. And got done good.

Where we won't be--but you should definitely go! (And where we'll be!)

Falling in love isn’t hard, especially if you go to Habanos Cigar Lounge, Pawtucket, RI on Thursday, April 30 from 7:00-10:00. From the moment you walk in and set eyes on the event’s superstars, you’ll surely fall for DRAM Cigars. And, like in the real world, there’s a perfect match for everyone (mostly).

A dram typically refers to a pour of alcohol; the four DRAM Cigar blends fully complement a variety of whiskeys, based on the strengths and flavor profiles of both smoke and beverage. At this event, the lovely Habanos bartenders will pour complimentary whiskeys for tasting, and DRAM’s very cool Andrew Estop will help you find your true-love smoke, to create the perfect palate partnership.

 

Nathalie, one of your lovely Habanos bartenders!
You can fall in love with her too, whicle you're there.
Everyone else does!

 

The cigar offerings, available in a number of sizes:

Dram Cask No. 1 Connecticut Shade wrapper.  Mild to medium strength. Creamy profile.  Perfect complement to whiskeys with a citrus and woody profile.

Dram Cask No. 2 Corojo wrapper.  Medium strength cigar with a complex profile.  Pairs with whiskeys showcasing a spicy and woody profile.

Dram Cask No. 3 Habano wrapper.  Medium plus strength and a spicy profile.  Whiskeys with a spicy and woody profile partner best with this cigar.

Dram Cask No. 4 Connecticut Broadleaf wrapper.  Medium to full strength and a spicy profile.  Best accompanied by whiskeys with a smoky and woody profile.

 



 

What's that? You want to know why we won't be there? Oh, we'll be at this little old thing called...

 

BOOM!

 ...with Caballero #2 and Pal of Cabellero #2 (POC)--Hi Mike!

The man, the myth, the legend...
Caballero #2, smoking a Joel Sherman.

 

Naturally, we'll keep you updated with all the CigarFest shenanigans. Of course, this may or may not occur in the same calendar year. But, you know, that's how I roll!