Lighting that Motherfucker

You can get cigar-lighting how-tos all over the mighty internets—some concisely right-on and some…not so much. Watch video after video and you’ll find each subtly different.

Nuances abound in the cigar world, but don’t worry about the “right way.”

Fuck the nuances. At this point, you just want that sucker

1. On fire and

2. To remain lit.

 

Your spokesmodel for the evening:
Caballero #3

Lighting the cigar with no fanfare:

1. Cut about a 1/16th off the end. (This is a post for another day.)

2. “Toast” the end that doesn’t go in your mouth.* Blow it out if it keeps flaming as you pull the lighter away.

What that means: hold it above the flame and spin it a bit—just like you’re toasting a marshmallow.** You’re warming up the wrapper.

Not so much for demonstration purposes,
but to show my mad photography skills.
And by "mad," I mean "bad."

3. Put the stick in your mouth*** and hold the flame about an inch from the foot. You’re lighting the filler.

4. Puff a couple of times.

4.5 Dear god, don’t inhale.

5. Hand the house lighter back to the cigartender.****

 

6. Repeat 3-5 as necessary if the cigar goes out.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

 

*This shouldn’t have to be said, and yet…

**If you’re one of those assholes that burns the marshmallow, stay the fuck away from cigars.

***Heh heh heh.

****Don’t even think about pocketing it. Yes, it’s nice, but it’s not yours.