Cigar of the Month Giveaway or: Mutiny and the Bounty

Annnnd, we're back--from CigarFest, that is.

6:00 a.m. Doors open at 10:00 a.m.

We have lots to tell you, and many, many pictures to show you (although if you follow us on Instagram*, you can see all the pics as they pop)!

The waiting really is the hardest part.

Although with this set-up, not as difficult as you'd think.

Housemates

The whole motley crew (not the band)

The crew on the verge of entering. We were so close...
and yet so far (from all the awesome)

Inside CigarFest from the Drew Estate section

 

Part of the first day's cigar collection

After the first day, I started to worry about where we were going to put everything (above) upon our return home.

Naturally, I'm going to give a minute portion away as thanks for reading our blog, for putting up with our shenanigans, and because where the F am I going to put all this!?!?

Here's the bounty!

As Valentino reads this, he's right now in the throes of heart palpitations. He hates giving his stuff away. I love giving his stuff away.** He may be captain of this ship, but as first mate, I call for a (temporary) mutiny! So...several winners--an no, you don't get to pick what you want. And NO, you aren't getting the Feral Flying Pigs or the Angels Shares lurking in the background there. (After all, I don't want to give the poor guy an ACTUAL heart attack!)

How can you enter? Check out the Rafflecopter below! Jump through the hoops and you could be a winner!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*Follow us at @thecigargal on Instagram and @cigargal on Twitter.

**Technically, it's OUR stuff.

Rocky Patel joins the Band of Merry Men--and everyone is happy! Now! Includes Men in Tights!

I'm all about gathering my Band of Merry Men about me. In fact, I prefer my world that way--surrounded by awesome fellas who think I'm lovely and charming and hilarious.*

Not exactly them, but you get the gist.
(I wish I could get them in these outfits. Even for a day...hahaha)
Also, Men in Tights in a hoot of a movie!

Valentino, of course, is the Robin Hood in this scenario and I'm Maid Marian, for I am a delicate Renaissance flower.** Caballero #2 is Little John, without the monk's robe. But Little John wasn't around for this adventure, sadly.

Generally we wind up in our secret lair (Habanos in Pawtucket, RI) purely by accident--if you call attendance patterns accidents. Whatevs.



I WISH I could get them to chorus line.
I wonder what it would cost me... because I'd pay cash money.

Something else you need to know about the Band of Merry Men: Their numbers fluctuate and the members vary, depending on work and hangover schedules. You may remember the last official unofficial gathering.

But the other day, many core group members found themselves in the tavern, well-primed (by the mead) for shenanigans and cigars. I thrust--yes, actually thrust--these most awesome-looking Rocky Patel American Market Selection robustos (5 1/2 x 50) (below) at four of them, all with varied cigar-smoking regularity and experience. (I had five, but had to save one for Valentino [obvs], who went missing in Sherwood Forest. Or the walk-in humidor.***) 

The lovely folks at Famous Smoke Shop
sent them to us and said, "Smoke these please."
We're very good at following directions.
[source]

I guess I could have given the Band of Merry Men some kind of instruction or told them about the cigar, but...nah. I just demanded, "Smoke this."****

First up, my brother Chris. This was literally his fourth premium cigar ever.*****

New cigar smoker and yet already
mastered one of the key cigar poses.

You know we wouldn't lead him astray (much); his previous three were well-chosen, but this one he declared the best yet. Keep in mind: he doesn't know the cigar lingo or the ever-repeated descriptors, yet he said it surprisingly tasted creamy "and with some nuts or something." Huh.

 

Our pal Jim's a "few cigars a week" smoker and agreed with this Rocky Patel robusto's creaminess.

Note to self: Monitor photographs
rather than tossing the phone to the next victim.
Take my word for it: this is Jim's hand and cigar.
BTW, nice ash, Jim.
Or maybe we should say, "Nice ash, Rocky Patel."

"This is a good mildish smoke," Jim said, using an overly-technical term. His lovely wife rolled her eyes, because that's what long-time lovely wives do.

Poor Deb. She'd come by to take her husband for ice cream.

Jim, however, had yet to touch flame to cigar.

I threatened Merry Men moniker revocation--plus I'd take the cigar back.  When his eyes pleaded "But my wife..." I took control. We stormed her vehicle, insisting she succumb to our demands. And by this, I mean we begged for Jim to please stay and play with us. I also bribed her with promises of adult beverages. She acquiesced. (Yay!)

"And there's a lot of flavor," he continued. "This Rocky Patel is damn good." Thanks for taking one for the Band, Jim! And sorry about the ice cream, Deb!

Another Band leader, Brian, smokes a bit more than Jim, including stogies on the golf course.

Are my photography skills getting better
or his he incredibly photogenic?
I'd bet on the latter.

"This would be a great smoke for the course," Brian said. "It's mild. I prefer that when I'm playing golf. And this," he pointed to burning cigar, "this is the best part so far. It gets better the more I smoke it." He demonstrated with a deep draw. "Where can I get these?"

 

I acted as a fair maiden should, instead of cranking the snark and said, "They're exclusive to Famous Smoke. So if you want them, you either drive there or ask the mighty, mighty internets for assistance." He nodded and yanked out his phone.  "What's it called again?"

 

The most excellent Rocky Patel American Market Selection robusto.

 

And then, our hero, the cigar savant. 

I'd probably get better pictures if I, oh, I don't know--
got up from the couch and perhaps even tried to focus.******

"I like this a lot," Valentino said, and then in a stage-whisper asked how many were left.

I shook my head.

"What does that mean?"

"None," I admitted, trying to look demure while holding a bag of Cheez-Its.

Pretty darned close to his reaction.

Sometimes my generosity in the pursuit of a good (or goodish) story causes strife.  Poor Valentino. He was strifed.

Oh my sweet reader, you just went back up to count, because you thought That was only four Merry Men but...Famous Smoke Shop sent five cigars.

And yet I did lose--one cigar.

Yeah. Lost. Merry Man Eric took his and exited, stage left. I may have to vote him out of the group. Or be more clear in my instructions. Or give instructions. Actually, this is probably on me.

Oh! And some things you want/need to know about the Rocky Patel American Market Selection robustos:

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Connecticut (Rumor has it, this wrapper was all the rage back in the day--not Robin Hood days, but the early 20th century.)

Filler: Honduran and Nicaraguan

Available sizes:

• Churchill (7×49)
• Double Corona (7.5×52)
• Robusto, obviously (5 1/2 x 50)
• Sixty (6×60)
• Toro (6×52)
• Torpedo (6×52)

And in case you slept through that part, you can only get these at Famous Smoke Shop!

All right. I've got to round up the Band of Merry Men. I'm dying for attention. And a meal I don't have to pay for.




*If you know what's good for you, you will NOT debunk this theory.

**Shush, you.

***Or wherever it is he wanders off to as I hide behind the laptop.

****In a lady-like way, of course.

*****Sorry, Mum!

******Story of my life, this inability to focus.



Just because it's on a Top 10 list doesn't mean it's right for you. Plus! The Lego Movie obsession begins!

Once, after we'd seen a movie together, a friend asked whether I liked it. I said I did, and she just stared at me. "Do you like every movie you see?"  And I thought about it as I looked for my keys on the theater floor. (I don't think I'm alone in saying I'd rather leave the keys and the car behind than actually touch a movie theater floor.) I found the keys before I found the answer to the question: Do I like every movie I see?

After I found my keys.

That was a hundred umpity years ago and I still think about that. No, not the horror of touching the floor, which actually happened. ::shudder::

I mean, do I like every movie I see? Like whole heartedly and completely? No. That is reserved for a handful of films. (Newest addition to the list? The Lego Movie!*)

Everything about this movie is awesome!

So as I look at the top ten/25/whatever lists of cigars that have popped up in the last couple of weeks, I think about all the smokiness we've experienced over the past year. There were a couple that didn't hold up to the hype, in our humble opinions, but that doesn't mean there weren't good elements.

Here's a funny aside, one too big for a sparkle. (This is a sparkle --> *) I looked at a most popular movies from 1990-1999 list, searching for a perfect example to prove my point, that there's generally something good about each film. I started to go down the list:

"Andy Dufresne - who crawled through
a river of shit and came out clean on the other side." Shawshank Redemption--
well that was great for every reason.  [source] 

"Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you,
I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!"
Pulp Fiction...okay, that one's perfect completely and totally.
[source] 

"Aahhhhh!"
Jurassic Park...I don't love that one because dinosaurs aren't my thing,
but that's not a criticism; this is a perfectly told story
with the right amount of humor, action, imagery, special effects...**
[source]

"Ahhhhhhh!"
Okay, Titanic. Visually stunning. Well acted.
But the melodrama thing bothers me. Plus! Why didn't she share the door?

 

Mythbusters said it would have been just fine, the two of them
on that door. And they used science to figure that out.
 But still, I can't say it was a bad movie...even though it wasn't for me.
So would it go on any Top Whatever lists in Penny World?
Would I want to see it again? God no. Once in the theater
and once many years later to see if I still felt the same (yes) were enough for me.
[source]

Just like I will watch a movie all the way through, even if I'm not loving it, Valentino will smoke a cigar all the way through. If you know even the slightest bit about cigars, you'll understand that the end of the cigar adventure is much different from the beginning. Michael Herklots referenced this idea the other night at the Nat Sherman Epoca component demonstration.

Valentino won't put a cigar down
even if he's with astronauts fighting aliens.
Or he's Wolverine. [source]

Anyway, could I put together a Top Ten? I don't think so. Not until the parameters are created, analyzed, refined, and then thrown out the window when we discover that was a stupid idea. We expect this could occur during a Family Guy commercial break. After all, our idea of best is not your idea of best, and our tastes are probably way off from yours. And even if I could, or we could, it's our own list. Maybe you LIKE melodrama and sappiness. Nothing wrong with that!

As a matter of fact, even as a duo, sometimes we don't agree. Hard to believe, but true. Just the other night, Valentino smoked one of those shiny, sparkly new cigars that have been hyped to the hilt. The smoke, she was delicious. Every time he exhaled in a direction other than mine, I punched him. I paid for the damn thing (I was quicker with the American Express); please let me have the second hand smoke.

But about halfway through, he started making a face and drinking much more than he had been, like you do when a aspirin gets stuck on the back of your tongue, as if you're trying to drink away not only the taste, but the memory of the taste.



Valentino's reaction when the cigar turned on him. [source]

"This has a bad aftertaste. Like kerosene."

No, I had not tried to off him by way of an exploding cigar.***

I couldn't get this sense, obviously, since I wasn't using my superior tasting ability.  I continued to enjoy it, although not nearly as much, since he was making some seriously funny faces. So, enjoying it, but differently.

Can I understand why this cigar made some of the lists? Absolutely. And he probably would have too--at first. We have another, purchased at a different location, that we're going to light up in a few days just to see if maybe the problem is with the cigar or the place (shop) it was stored.

Similarly, when the Two Cabelleros are together, and smoking the same cigar, inevitably one will love it and the other will like it just fine or not like it at all. Know why? Because even though they share a brain in many ways, their parietal**** lobes are as unique as snowflakes. (And both men are as delicate as snowflakes, too.*****)

But not all cigars are awesome. For realz. [source]

So I don't think I could put together a list. I like different things about different cigars, as does he. As do you, for sure.

Because I am old and wise, you should listen to my advice: The lists are fine and you should definitely try the stuff on them. But there's nothing wrong with you if you don't like something someone found list-worthy.  If you're new to cigars, use the lists as a jumping off point if you'd like, but figure out what you like about those you do and seek out those elements in other cigars. Your local tobacconist or lounge owner will be able to help you out.

Or we can! Tell us what you like and we'll point you in that direction. We're nice like that.  And in the meantime, go watch the Lego Movie. Then we can talk about how awesome it is. I could talk about it for days--and Valentino is sick of listening to me go on and on.

[source]

*Which displaced Smokey and the Bandit from the top spot.

**Do you remember when brainless...er, people? were OUTRAGED about this picture?

I saved this on the laptop under the title "morons." [source]

***Although hmmm...Then the Padron 50th Anniversary humidor would be mine! All mine!******

****That's the lobe associated with taste

*****Hahahahaha

******Never mind. I'd really miss him.

Words you should know: Ligero (Think you can handle it, punk?)

We stopped by Havana Cigar Lounge in West Warwick, RI to say "Howdy!" to our friend Jarrid Trudeau, he of Kristoff Cigars, and maybe, just maybe, we were picking up a little something for you. (You'll hear about that later today.*)

Upon arrival, Jarrid gifted Valentino this baby. 

What's that? You want the deets? Straight from the Jarrid's mouth:** Honduran criollo wrapper, Dominican binder, Dominican/Honduran filler. 

 

And from the Kristoff website, "Looking for a full bodied cigar with depth and flavor, look no further. The Kristoff Ligero has twice the amount of Ligero leaf in the filler than the original Kristoff. It embodies incredible notes of toasted nut, caramel, undertones of cedar, spice and a sweet finish. Made with 100% Cuban Seed tobacco, this cigar leaves a clean, fresh finish on your palate."

Just as Valentino took the first few puffs, he said, "This has some bite to it."

"Well of course," Jarrid said. "It's a ligero."

And then they said ligero seventy-umpity hundredy times, with all the spit in the back of the throat a person can muster, kind of like an old, Jewish grandfather. It makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.***

What's that? You don't know what ligero is but you're afraid to ask?  I can help!!

Ligero is the tobacco leaf found at the top of the plant. Easy! Some other stuff about it:

• The leaf has a course texture
• The ligero has a potent, spicy taste, which makes for a full-bodied cigar
• The continuous, direct sunlight (because it's at the top of the plant) is the main reason for the leaves' fuller flavor. 
• Leaves are thicker and oilier, so they burn with more difficulty than other tobacco leaves.  

Carlos Fuente, who we love, has said, "The top leaves are left to overripen, and it looks ugly as hell.... And that's what gives you your baritone, heavy flavor, more body. It gives you more complexity."

 

So I thought I would give you some pictures to help you better understand the ligero. This is the first picture that came up:



You're welcome.

 

 This one might be a better help though:

 

See? Ligero is the tops

So when you see or hear "ligero," don't think, "That's a fun word to say,"**** even though it is. Think of Valentino saying, "This has some bite to it," and imagine him downplaying what he really thought, which was something along the lines of "Holy fuck,****** I wasn't expecting that!"

 

And then settle in for something super delicious. 

This Kristoff ligero comes in the following vitolas:

• Churchill – 7 x 50        
• Torpedo – 6.25 x 52
• Robusto – 5.5 x 54      
• Matador – 6.5 x 56
• Lancero – 7.5 x 40      
• Short Robusto – 4 x 54
• Corona – 5 x 44

Something for everyone! Unless you can't handle the ligero.

 

*Probably today.******* You know how I tend to lose focus. 

**Fingers, actually, thanks to the electronic angels that bring messages from one person to another. 

***Shut up. 

*****To paraphrase Elf, one of the best movies ever. 

******There's no other way to say it. Deal with the language.

*******Hahahaha. No.