Just because it's on a Top 10 list doesn't mean it's right for you. Plus! The Lego Movie obsession begins!

Once, after we'd seen a movie together, a friend asked whether I liked it. I said I did, and she just stared at me. "Do you like every movie you see?"  And I thought about it as I looked for my keys on the theater floor. (I don't think I'm alone in saying I'd rather leave the keys and the car behind than actually touch a movie theater floor.) I found the keys before I found the answer to the question: Do I like every movie I see?

After I found my keys.

That was a hundred umpity years ago and I still think about that. No, not the horror of touching the floor, which actually happened. ::shudder::

I mean, do I like every movie I see? Like whole heartedly and completely? No. That is reserved for a handful of films. (Newest addition to the list? The Lego Movie!*)

Everything about this movie is awesome!

So as I look at the top ten/25/whatever lists of cigars that have popped up in the last couple of weeks, I think about all the smokiness we've experienced over the past year. There were a couple that didn't hold up to the hype, in our humble opinions, but that doesn't mean there weren't good elements.

Here's a funny aside, one too big for a sparkle. (This is a sparkle --> *) I looked at a most popular movies from 1990-1999 list, searching for a perfect example to prove my point, that there's generally something good about each film. I started to go down the list:

"Andy Dufresne - who crawled through
a river of shit and came out clean on the other side." Shawshank Redemption--
well that was great for every reason.  [source] 

"Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you,
I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!"
Pulp Fiction...okay, that one's perfect completely and totally.
[source] 

"Aahhhhh!"
Jurassic Park...I don't love that one because dinosaurs aren't my thing,
but that's not a criticism; this is a perfectly told story
with the right amount of humor, action, imagery, special effects...**
[source]

"Ahhhhhhh!"
Okay, Titanic. Visually stunning. Well acted.
But the melodrama thing bothers me. Plus! Why didn't she share the door?

 

Mythbusters said it would have been just fine, the two of them
on that door. And they used science to figure that out.
 But still, I can't say it was a bad movie...even though it wasn't for me.
So would it go on any Top Whatever lists in Penny World?
Would I want to see it again? God no. Once in the theater
and once many years later to see if I still felt the same (yes) were enough for me.
[source]

Just like I will watch a movie all the way through, even if I'm not loving it, Valentino will smoke a cigar all the way through. If you know even the slightest bit about cigars, you'll understand that the end of the cigar adventure is much different from the beginning. Michael Herklots referenced this idea the other night at the Nat Sherman Epoca component demonstration.

Valentino won't put a cigar down
even if he's with astronauts fighting aliens.
Or he's Wolverine. [source]

Anyway, could I put together a Top Ten? I don't think so. Not until the parameters are created, analyzed, refined, and then thrown out the window when we discover that was a stupid idea. We expect this could occur during a Family Guy commercial break. After all, our idea of best is not your idea of best, and our tastes are probably way off from yours. And even if I could, or we could, it's our own list. Maybe you LIKE melodrama and sappiness. Nothing wrong with that!

As a matter of fact, even as a duo, sometimes we don't agree. Hard to believe, but true. Just the other night, Valentino smoked one of those shiny, sparkly new cigars that have been hyped to the hilt. The smoke, she was delicious. Every time he exhaled in a direction other than mine, I punched him. I paid for the damn thing (I was quicker with the American Express); please let me have the second hand smoke.

But about halfway through, he started making a face and drinking much more than he had been, like you do when a aspirin gets stuck on the back of your tongue, as if you're trying to drink away not only the taste, but the memory of the taste.



Valentino's reaction when the cigar turned on him. [source]

"This has a bad aftertaste. Like kerosene."

No, I had not tried to off him by way of an exploding cigar.***

I couldn't get this sense, obviously, since I wasn't using my superior tasting ability.  I continued to enjoy it, although not nearly as much, since he was making some seriously funny faces. So, enjoying it, but differently.

Can I understand why this cigar made some of the lists? Absolutely. And he probably would have too--at first. We have another, purchased at a different location, that we're going to light up in a few days just to see if maybe the problem is with the cigar or the place (shop) it was stored.

Similarly, when the Two Cabelleros are together, and smoking the same cigar, inevitably one will love it and the other will like it just fine or not like it at all. Know why? Because even though they share a brain in many ways, their parietal**** lobes are as unique as snowflakes. (And both men are as delicate as snowflakes, too.*****)

But not all cigars are awesome. For realz. [source]

So I don't think I could put together a list. I like different things about different cigars, as does he. As do you, for sure.

Because I am old and wise, you should listen to my advice: The lists are fine and you should definitely try the stuff on them. But there's nothing wrong with you if you don't like something someone found list-worthy.  If you're new to cigars, use the lists as a jumping off point if you'd like, but figure out what you like about those you do and seek out those elements in other cigars. Your local tobacconist or lounge owner will be able to help you out.

Or we can! Tell us what you like and we'll point you in that direction. We're nice like that.  And in the meantime, go watch the Lego Movie. Then we can talk about how awesome it is. I could talk about it for days--and Valentino is sick of listening to me go on and on.

[source]

*Which displaced Smokey and the Bandit from the top spot.

**Do you remember when brainless...er, people? were OUTRAGED about this picture?

I saved this on the laptop under the title "morons." [source]

***Although hmmm...Then the Padron 50th Anniversary humidor would be mine! All mine!******

****That's the lobe associated with taste

*****Hahahahaha

******Never mind. I'd really miss him.