Friday, June 5, 2015

Cigar Lounge Manners: Don't lie

We allllll do it. And if you say you don't, then you're doing it.

There's the white version, to spare another's feelings:
  • That dress looks great on you.
  • I had a fantastic time.
  • I'd love to buy you ice cream, but the line is too long.

When you're hanging in the cigar lounge, maybe you embellish a bit. Who can blame you? As I like to say, "We're all heroes of our own story." If that requires sparkles added to the story... ::shrug:: So it goes.*

But when lying becomes a big part of your cigar lounge persona, there's a problem.

“All this happened, more or less.”**

Unfortunately, usually less.

Don't forget that the folks in the lounge continue to chat even when you aren't there. (No, the place doesn't go dark when you head out.) They're going to compare stories. They're going to quickly note discrepancies.

“When everything was beautiful and nothing hurt...”***

Maybe the tellers of tall tales seek to recreate these beautiful moments as they concoct stories. But it's almost demeaning, what they expect us to believe. Sometimes we, frustrated, threaten to call these gentlemen out, show the documented research proving them wrong.

But that's not the cigar lounge way.

These lies generally stem from real life unhappiness. Smoking a cigar should be a mini-vacation from...everything, so spending this time worrying and trying to keep lies straight negates the benefits of cigar time.

Sadly, these folks are doing the cigar culture wrong. But who are we to judge?

So we let them show us pictures and tell us personal stories about stock photos and non-existent vacations. We're polite like that.

Once someone started to tell a story about a sailboat she "owns." Having sailed and owned boats for many a year, I figured this THIS will be our connection! We'll chat away and become BFFs. But panic struck her face when I started talking boat. She then turned to the person to her right and chattered away, as if we'd never spoken. In my experience, anyone with a boat wants to talk about their boat. So....yeah. Liar, liar pants on fire, unfortunately.

We'd probably like these folks just fine--maybe even more so--if we could just know the real people holding the cigars. After all, I'm the most boring person in the entire universe and people like me just fine. (At least that's the impression I get while at the lounge. Who knows what happens when I leave.****)

Like who you are and I'm pretty sure we'll love you! The cigar community is the nicest group of people on earth. Impress us with your real awesomeness, not some stuff you think will impress us. We're a simple people...***** But not a dumb bunch; trust us. In fact, most of us are wicked smaht.****** We promise to like you for you.

The quotation maker.

*A billion bonus life points for getting the reference without a Google search. There's a book and film, by the way.

**Same reference. First line.

***Ditto, but not first line, obvs.

****I just pretend nothing bad is said, although what could they say? Gosh, she types a lot.

*****In a good way.

******Paraphrasing another favorite movie. More life bonus points for getting this reference.

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