Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Cigar Lounge Manners (Dave Grohl edition): You never know who is around

The other day at the cigar lounge, sitting in the bar area were:

Valentino is
one of these people.
A bank vice president
Two policemen
A nanny
A sales manager of a huge car dealership
A cigar company owner
An owner of a popular restaurant and his wife
A financial-type guy required to wear a suit and tie. (I have difficulty retaining his job title.  Something about trading something.)
A master mechanic
A crazy writer girl (moi)
A Certified Executive Chef (one of 2,000 in the country)

If I gave you post-it notes with each job on them and asked you to match job to person, you'd surely eff it up royally.*  You just never know who someone is, who they know, and how they may influence your life right then or in the future.

So be on your best behavior.

Yes, you're at the cigar lounge to have fun, hang out with your friends, and smoke fantastic cigars.

So is everyone else. Two rules:

1. Don't embarrass yourself
2. Don't ruin everyone else's time

Sure, you may be having a rip-roaring time. But you're one of those people who gets louder with every adult beverage. That does not excuse your bad behavior.

The whole point of smoking a cigar is to relax. One friend (Hi Karl!) calls it a mini-vacation. He said the other day he had three vacations. One of the best days in a long time.

The cigar culture and community allows you to deal with your day, catch up with friends, relax, reflect.

If you want to drink to get drunk and yell to friends across the room, please go to a sports bar. No, you can't smoke there, but you can be an ass, and if your ultimate goal is to drink as much as possible, just shy of blackout drunk, go there. Please.

Be memorable for your cigar choice. Your interesting insight. Even for being the quiet guy in the corner. Don't be memorable for all the wrong reasons. You may wind up regretting it:

That bank where you're going to research mortgages? See the VP over there? You may not remember him, but he remembers you. You aren't getting the lowest interest rate possible.

Darn, you were speeding. The policemen who pulled you over? No, he may not seem familiar to you, but he remembers how belligerent you got last weekend at his favorite cigar lounge where he went to relax after a tough day.

The car sales manager? He gets the best deals for his cigar buddies, willing to take a cut in commission for a pal. You won't be getting any deals. Trust us.

The cigar company owner? He and the rep have been handing out cigars to friendly folks all night, folks who bought him a drink or showed him kindness in one way or another--a compliment, a funny story, whatever. You're jealous watching everyone else get some? You're an obvious pain-in-the-ass who's causing him to roll his eyes in disgust. No cigar for you.

The very generous restaurant owner and his wife frequently buy a round for the good-natured folks. Again, you'll get none of this goodwill. Nor will you get an extra appetizer on the house next time you go to the restaurant. (And you do go to the restaurant. Everyone does.)

The financial planner? He's at a friend's office where you're interviewing for a great job. He sees you, remembers you, and calls his friend later in the day. You don't get the job. Sorry, not sorry. And when your girlfriend tries to tell you everything happens for a reason, please remember that reason isn't always a good one.

The master mechanic fixes many of our cars on his days off, for a small labor cost and no upcharge on parts. Have fun taking yours to the dealership to get that rattle checked out.

No, you shouldn't be nice and un-obnoxious to people just so you can get stuff.  You should be a decent human being because...just because.  You're young. You don't see how repercussions from one small act can have a loooong-lasting reach. Trust us. You will. 

Hopefully, karma will not kick you in the balls because you deserve it. But if you do deserve it and we've had the pleasure of your loud mouth or intoxication ruining one of our evenings, we'll be more than happy to watch and record every #cigarloungedouchebag move. Hell, we'll even hold karma's hat and coat while that job gets done.

Just because it's funny.

*Except for the me part. I'm usually the only one with a laptop. And most often the only girl, except the bartender.

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