Thursday, July 30, 2015

5 Things about... Cigar Rights of America (Star Wars Edition)

Full disclosure: I am the least political person on the planet. Okay, maybe it's a tie between me and a newborn, but I'm pretty sure I fall below that precious bundle.

I'm never going to get into a debate about which candidate (for anything) is better, why the [insert noun here] should be [verb], or chatter on about "Can you believe the..." At this point, I scroll on down the Facebook feed.

However! Even I, the most neutral of all sentient beings in the galaxy, see the necessity of Cigar Rights of America (CRA), as state and federal leaders ban cigar smokers* from buildings and parks and towns,** impose outrageous taxes, and attempt to crush an entire industry.

5. The Food and Drug Administration geniuses*** are creating the Death Star of legislation and regulations that "could cripple the premium cigar industry by banning walk-in humidors, defacing or covering cigar box artwork, and requiring manufacturers to submit their blends for “testing” before they can be sold." Consider them the tyrannical Galactic Empire and CRA the Rebel Alliance, sadly, without lightsabers.

I wish.
4. CRA (Cigar Rebel Alliance, if you will) is committed to protecting the rights of the growers, manufacturers, retailers, and consumers of premium cigars by serving as a voice at each level of government. I just wish they had droids.

3. Use the Force. (That's you, by the way.) Because the Cigar Rebel Alliance is a grassroots movement, the Luke Skywalkers (growers and rollers), Han Solos (retailers), and Princess Leias (owners and executives) need to come together to create a strong voice, with the goals of changing "the course of policy, perception, and elections."

2. We have our very own Obi-Wan Kenobi. Or Yoda. I couldn't settle on which metaphor worked better. But we have him: Glynn Loope, the Alliance's Executive Director.

1. We mustn't let them complete the Death Star. "Cigar Rights of America (CRA) is the first and only consumer-based public advocacy group fighting to protect the individual rights to enjoy premium cigars. Over the past twenty years, the anti-tobacco movement’s reach has broadened, and your ability to enjoy premium cigars and freely participate in a relaxing, social activity has been continually regulated and restricted."

All information about the CRA culled from the organization's official website.
All information about Star Wars retrieved from my massive Star Wars brain.

*And those squirrelly cigarette smokers who quickly puff for a fix rather than relaxation and contemplation.

**An exaggeration, but barely.

***I'm being facetious, obvs.

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